Thirty-three steps one way and pivot. Thirty-three steps back. And again.
Why should I be sorry? she fumed. Isabelle’s responsible for everything that’s happened. Jo trusted her. And now Jo’s dead.
Spinning on her heel she paced the other way.
As it always did, her mind flashed back to snow-covered woods, the flutter of a magpie’s wings, a small figure hurtling through the snow…
It was like a scab she couldn’t leave alone although it hurt to touch. She kept worrying at the edges of it so the pain never lessened.
Maybe she didn’t want the pain to lessen.
Jo is gone. Everyone failed her. And now Isabelle wants me to get back to ‘normal’? Screw her.
Allie pivoted and paced.
She’d never trust Isabelle again. It had all happened because of her and the fight she had with her brother that Allie didn’t even understand. They’d all been caught up in it, and Jo paid the price.
She didn’t trust Raj either. He was in charge of security for the school. He was supposed to be such an expert. But he’d gone off and left them alone, even after Allie begged him not to go. Begged him. So he wasn’t around when someone inside the school – someone Allie knew and trusted – opened the gate so Gabe could kill Jo.
She pivoted again in a tight, painful spin, rage giving her strength.
In the eight weeks that had passed since the murder, Raj and Isabelle hadn’t been able to find out who opened the gates that night. Who had been helping Nathaniel all along. A teacher, a Night School instructor, a student – somebody she passed in the hallway every day wanted her to die.
And they’d done nothing about it.
They all let me down. They all betrayed us. And I’ll be damned if I’m going to let that happen again.
Suddenly, she stopped pacing. She knew what she had to do.
Yanking the heavy door open, she headed straight for Isabelle’s office, running to get there before she lost her nerve. She was going to tell the headmistress she didn’t want to go to school here any more. She couldn’t go on like this. She’d go anywhere in the world as long as it was far away from here. Out in the real world she could find out what was really going on. She’d talk to her grandmother and together they’d find Jo’s killers. And they’d punish them.
Tucked away under the main staircase, which soared upward from the central hall in a theatrical swoop of ornate polished oak, Isabelle’s door was hidden so cleverly in the intricately carved panelling that when Allie first came to Cimmeria she’d had trouble seeing it. She didn’t have that problem any more.
Her jaw clenched, she shoved the door open without knocking. ‘Isabelle, you have to —’
The office was empty.
The headmistress had obviously left in a hurry – the black cashmere cardigan she’d been wearing earlier was draped carelessly across the back of a chair. Steam still rose from a cup of Earl Grey tea, which sat in the middle of the leather blotter on top of her desk next to her glasses…
And her mobile phone.
Her mouth slightly open, Allie stared at it. Her brain couldn’t register what she was seeing.
All electronic devices were banned at Cimmeria. Of all The Rules, this was the most strictly enforced. No computers, no televisions, and absolutely no phones.
If students wanted to phone someone they needed permission from the headmistress. They were only allowed to call their parents, and even then only if they had a good reason. But here was a phone, right within her reach.
As she’d stared at it, Allie’s mind had whirred through a checklist of things that would happen. Isabelle would never forgive her. She’d be expelled. She’d lose her friends. But she might also find out what was really going on. And that could force Isabelle and Raj to finally do something.
So she picked up the phone, stuck it in her pocket and walked out of the door.
THREE
Outside Cimmeria’s gates, the forest was wilder, blocking the weak rays of late afternoon light. Here, it was already night and Allie looked uneasily over her shoulder as she hurried through the gloom.
With every step she assured herself she was doing the right thing. Nathaniel was out there somewhere and he was looking for her but Allie didn’t care any more. She was so exhausted, so angry, so broken… staying wasn’t an option. She had to go.
But she’d never felt more exposed. She was completely alone now. And Jo’s killers could be anywhere.
It was unnervingly quiet, the only sound the crunching of dried twigs under her feet. The sun was setting and the cold was growing intense – the wind cut through the fabric of her coat, chilling the sweat on her skin. In her pockets her hands balled into icy fists.
At least I know where I’m going, she thought.
She’d made so many trips to hospitals recently she’d come to know the local roads pretty well, and as she walked she calmed herself by thinking through the route in her head – visualising a map. By her own calculation she wasn’t far from the main road. Once there, all she had to do was turn right and then follow the signs. There were fewer trees around the main road, and more light. It wouldn’t be as spooky.
All she had to do was get through these woods and she’d be safe. It was simple.
And it all went perfectly. In fact, she’d almost reached the crossroads when a sound, as faint as an intake of breath, made the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end.
Stifling a gasp, she darted right, ducking behind the thick trunk of a tall pine. Crouching low, her hands pressed against the rough bark, she peered into the gloom.
Whatever that was, she didn’t think it had been made by the trees.
From her hiding spot, she could see no one. But the woods were dark and filled with shadows that shivered and danced with the breeze. Each one could be a person. Each one could be a killer.
She was beginning to find it hard to breathe.
Someone could be standing right behind me and I’d never see him. Gabe could be standing a few feet away watching me right now. The thought made her queasy with fear and she pounded a fist against her forehead. Why did I do this? I’m such an idiot. I’ve walked right up to him…
Clinging to the tree trunk, she fought for calm. If someone really was out there, she needed to think.
For a long moment she froze, listening; poised to run at the slightest sound. But there was only silence and wind and trees swaying above her.
After a while, Allie reasoned with herself. She could see nothing and hear nothing. The only hint she had that anyone was really out there came from her battered instincts. She tried to force herself to remember her training. What would Raj say if he were here?
Trust your instincts but don’t be a slave to them, she thought. He’d say don’t react to fear – react to evidence.
She could almost hear her instructor’s calming voice in her head. ‘And what does the evidence tell you now, Allie?’
I can’t see anyone, or hear anyone. I’ve followed procedure and found no true threat.
‘The evidence tells me there’s no one there,’ she whispered, trying to believe it.
Either way – whether someone was hiding in the woods nearby or not – she had two options: wait and see if they appeared, or keep moving and hope they didn’t.
She chose the second.