Indeed, for some while after even the shores of Great Britain were not immune from Lazaran “new-citizen” incursions and the likelihood of full-scale invasion. Only reluctant recourse to Revivalism, albeit less promiscuous than across the Channel, served to flesh out (if the reader will excuse the term) Albion’s defences sufficient to preserve its freedom
Meanwhile, on the continent, the French conquests acquired such an extent as to merit the name of Empire, but blushing to term it so, the Revolutionary Convention was pleased to call its realm the “New Civilisation”.
Such is the vanity and self-deceit of rulers. However, to those, living and dead, who laboured under the yoke of that “civilisation”, it seemed like a fresh Dark Age had descended.’
JOINT HOME OFFICE & FOREIGN OFFICE
FAST STREAM EXAMINATION—PAPER 1
To be held at the Banqueting Hall, Westminster Palace, at 10.00 a.m. sharp on the 13th day of February in the Year of Our Lord Eighteen hundred and thirty-five, also the 5th Year of the reign of His Gracious Majesty, William IV, King of Great Britain and the Dominions, Protector of the French Realm, Guardian of the Gate to Life, Defender of the Faith & etc.
TIME ALLOWED: 3 HOURS.
No candidate will be permitted entrance more than five minutes after commencement. No hounds or servants or family members may accompany any candidate. No Lazarans likewise. All books, paperwork and such and weaponry must be lodged with the invigilators upon pain, if detected, of exclusion and failure—without exception. All candidates shall first provide the doorman with proof of vitality by a pricking of the (visible) skin and production of blood, or else a surgeon’s note authenticated by a public notary that day.
CANDIDATES FOR THE FOREIGN OFFICE MUST ANSWER AT LEAST TWO QUESTIONS FROM SECTION A, AND AT LEAST ONE QUESTION EACH FROM BOTH SECTIONS B & C. CONVERSELY, HOME OFFICE (INCLUDING SECRET SERVICE) CANDIDATES MUST ANSWER AT LEAST TWO QUESTIONS FROM SECTION B AND AT LEAST ONE QUESTION EACH FROM BOTH SECTION A & C.
Examination scripts contrary or superfluous to the above instructions will be entirely disregarded. THE EXAMINERS’ WORD IS FINAL.
SECTION A—MODERN HISTORY
1. Outline the main events of the Second French Revolution from either:
‘The Massacre of Mons’ to ‘Second Agincourt.’ OR: Establishment of the Conventionary Government to ‘The People’s Declaration of Eternal War.’
2. ’The Allies’ occupation of France 1816-18 prompted legitimate grievances leading to the Second French Revolution. Foremost amongst them were reparations and the veto on Frankensteinian Science.’ Demolish this outrageous farrago.
3. Identify the main phases of the PROMETHEAN WAR, either:
1820—1828 OR:
1830—date.
Further, identify three signs of France’s inevitable defeat.
4. The precise date of Buonaparte’s revival by the Godless French regime may be precisely identified through examination of their conduct of the war. Discuss in relation to the so-called ‘Great Breakthrough’ and the ‘Month of Marching’ which followed it.
SECTION B—HOME AFFAIRS & POLITICAL DISCOURSE
1. Temporary suspension of Habeas corpus and other sundry antique and impertinent laws has been the salvation of the British Nation. What arguments would you muster against those unpatriotic elements who opine otherwise?
2. The thrust of English Foreign policy is to deny continental European hegemony to any one power. Can you conceive of any circumstances by which the French regime might be our ally in this cause?
NB.All answers will be considered purely hypothetical. The terms of the 1818 ‘Treachery Within The Realm Act’ shall not apply.
3. You are a Grade 7 Local Government Major General in England. An anti-Revivalist agitational group is established in your area. What administrative and/or coercive actions would you take to liquidate it, assuming said group comprised:
Item: Gentry and members of the quality, OR:
Item: Papists, OR:
Item: Quakers or other nonconformist Protestants, OR:
Item: French exiles.
4. Outline the Anglican Church’s evolving accommodation with Frankensteinian Revivalist Science 1800—1823, up to and including the Council of Tintern. Illustrate your answer by reference to specific synods and encyclicals.
NB1. No reference need be made to Papist intransigence.
NB2. No reference need be made to the untimely but unquestionably accidental demise of Archbishop Butt.
SECTION C—APPLIED PHILOSOPHY
1. The French Conventionary Government’s promiscuous use of the Revived for its military and agricultural and industrial workforce is motivated by:
Item: The exhaustion of French manpower by forty years of war, OR:
Item: The wicked and atheistic nature of the regime.
To which of these explanations do you primarily subscribe and why?
2. ‘Revolutions or the fear of revolutions had more to do with the dissolution of the Holy Alliance against France than the Battle of Second Agincourt.’ Discuss Gibbon’s cynical and fatuous contention.
3. Prince Talleyrand said that the restored Bourbon monarchy had both ‘forgotten and learnt nothing. Against stupidity even the Almighty struggles in vain.’ Discuss this d*mnable slander on legitimist principles.
4. Outline the 10 (ten) main ethical objections to Lazaran legal rights and acquisition of legal personality by the Revived. Would a Revived monarch undermine rights of succession? Is the Revived Incan monarchy ‘utterly illegitimate and unholy’ as Pope Leo XX brazenly declared?
Regulations for Scholars of Trinity College, Oxford, as revised, reissued and delivered of the Master and Proctors, this Year of Grace 1834.
‘Stricture number the 314th: no undergraduate shall retain in College any animal, excepting with permission ONE hound, ONE hawk, ONE horse, donkey or mule or other beast of conveyance. Nor shall any scholar feed and sustain any other such creature, whether wild or tame, two or four-legged, as their particular pet. Ratters shall be maintained by the College and no other party. The definition of ‘animal,’ ‘pet,’ and ‘ratter’ shall be at the entire discretion of the Master. Loss of one or more limb shall not preclude any beast from inclusion in the category of two or four-legged. BEARS are zealously excluded from all aspects of College life, regardless of Lord Byron’s precedent.
‘Stricture number the 315th: no undergraduate shall be attended by more than TWO Lazarans as his body servants or protectors, their given names to be supplied in writing to the proctors before the commencement of term in which residence begins. Excepting peers of the Realm who may be attended by up to FOUR undead. To avoid scandal and vice all Lazaran retainers shall be demonstrably MALE—this fact to be self-evident without need of disrobing.
Such permitted attendants are to be entirely fed, clothed and ordered by their master. They shall wear adequate apparel at all times, said apparel to prominently display both their given name and that of their master. The College shall have the entire prerogative to dispose of any Lazaran that offends against decency, public sensitivities, the statutes of Trinity or the law of England. Undergraduates are not permitted to exercise capital punishment upon any Lazaran in their charge in accordance with the stipulations above, save with the express permission of the College authorities. All such condign penalties shall be exacted upon the College gallows ONLY.
‘Stricture number the 316th: No whore-mongering shall be permitted. Neither shall any undergraduate avail himself of more than ONE bottle of fortified wine before morning divine service or TWO before evensong, unless…’