It was gut wrenching to even think about it.
My heart felt like it shattered into a million pieces every time I thought about being without him. And although the prospect had been discussed, it didn’t take the sting out of it. Even if I had been given orders to Camp Pendleton, weekend trips would have erased the distance that separated us. But with me being on the opposite coast, I’d have to settle for once a month flights, and pray that time would even allow for that to happen.
I went to bed that night with it on my mind, and even when I talked to Alex later that evening, sitting on the cement barricade framing the parking lot, it didn’t make things any easier. Alex, for as strong as he was trying to be, was anything but. It was bothering him just as much as it was bothering me. We’d had—or at least I’d had—no intention of ever falling this far when I took the bait and jumped in head first for him. I thought this was hot, casual sex at its finest. I’d never thought that we’d get to where we stood, and be faced with such a depressing situation. The more we talked about it, the more I wished time would just stand still, and I could stay in this hot, barren, good for nothing desert. It didn’t have much going for it, but it had Alex, and that was enough for me.
When I woke up the next morning, I found a text from Alex stating that the investigation into Allen was moving along quickly. First Sergeant O’Hara decided to give Allen an NJP—non-judicial punishment—and was pushing for an expedited administrative discharge. I couldn’t recall ever experiencing such early morning jubilation that didn’t involve Alex and his body mingling with mine. The news was quick and unexpected. My initial reaction to First Sergeant O’Hara was that he wasn’t taking any of this too seriously, but to get confirmation that it was handled swiftly and forcefully made me happy.
I walked down to the schoolhouse with Dalton, gleefully explaining to him what went down and that Allen would no longer be a threat to me. He commented, letting me know that First Sergeant grilled him, wanting to know everything, and was trying to see if any of the encounters were made up on my behalf.
Newsome, Alex, and Jensen stood before us in the classroom, going through their spiel about how proud of us they were, and how we’d make fine fleet Marines once we made it to our destinations. Alex gave subliminal messages, saying he’d miss seeing some of us around the schoolhouse, but that he knew our new units were gaining great, new additions. His words tugged at my heart at another reminder that we would be split apart. A part of me wanted to cry because the thought and the reality of it was just too much. Another part of me wanted to see as it yet another challenge in my life that I would have to work extra hard to overcome.
No matter which way it was sliced, the fact that I would be in North Carolina by this time next week was a hard pill to swallow, and I didn’t want to spend another second thinking about it.
Newsome took over the speech, standing with a clipboard in his hands.
“So without further ado, the winner of the seventy-two challenge—and it came down to the wire—is Pfc. Bennett.”
The class broke out in applause, with even a few “oorahs” thrown in for good measure. I nervously smiled, looking around the room. Even Angelica was clapping for me. When my eyes landed on Alex’s, salacious smirks were thrown back at me, making me blush and sweat under the intensity of his stare. I found myself tingling in between my legs because I knew the hidden message in his golden flecked eyes. If I didn’t turn away from it, I would need to make a swift exit for the nearest restroom.
“Pfc. Bennett, enjoy having Monday off,” Newsome said, nodding his head and then giving the floor to Alex.
“Your last order of business before you graduate is to pass the final exam. Today, we will cover the last bit of material, and then you will work in study groups, quizzing one another on everything you can think of. If you fail it, you will be recycled. You will have to take the course again, and you’ll be stuck here in Twentynine. For those of you leaving, I’m not so sure if you want to do that.”
His eyes landed on me as he spoke, making my insides swirl. I was on a double edged sword. Staying in Twentynine, while it would mean not being separated from Alex, would be detrimental for my career. I had to remember that, above all else, my career needed to come first.
The morning was filled with instruction, then splitting up into our study teams of four. It seemed that since I had been announced as the winner, everyone wanted to work with me. To my shock, Angelica even came my way, but I bypassed her. There was no way I was about to work with her when she had done nothing but try and make my life a living nightmare since we’d arrived here.
By the time lunch rolled around, I was absolutely starving. I walked out into the courtyard to meet up with Dalton, Lane, and Hutchins, when I got a buzz on my phone.
Alex: Jensen is out with Gunny Chavez for the lunch hour and the rest of the guys left too. Come to my office NOW. I need to EAT!
I knew exactly what that meant. And the heat of my body and the flush of my skin told Dalton exactly what it was as well.
“I have to go and take care of something, guys. I’ll see you all later.”
Dalton smiled and patted my shoulder.
“Enjoy!” he said, smirking at me and making me blush with embarrassment. He knew exactly where I was headed, and even though he’d known about Alex and me for quite some time, I still couldn’t erase the guilt behind it. I smiled anyway, then turned in the opposite direction and walked off before Lane or Hutchins could pick up on anything.
I looked around before knocking on Alex’s office door, then turned the knob and found him sitting at his desk, waiting for me. He stood and walked over, closing and locking the door behind him. When he turned around, he didn’t even say anything. Instead, he took my face in his hands and planted the deepest, most passion-filled kiss on my lips. I allowed him in, and he took advantage, dominating me with his powerful, and commanding tongue. I wrapped my arms around his neck, slightly tilting my head to the side as I attempted to gain some ground on him. He was hungry, indeed, but it wasn’t food he was after—it was me.
We pulled away, breathing hard and lusting after one another. He wiped his lips and pulled me over to his desk. I sat in between his legs, facing him as those sensual golden eyes flared out at me, drawing me even further into him.
“I’m so pissed you’re leaving me,” he said in a low whisper, my heart ached at the longing look encasing his face.
I didn’t want to go, but we both knew that this would be a very real possibility.
“I know. I wish I were staying here. They could have given Angelica my orders and given me hers.”
“Just our fucking luck, right?”
I nodded my head then focused on the black box that he pulled out of his pocket. My eyes narrowed as I pondered exactly what he had in there, and what he was planning to do with it.
“Our beach trip was so fucking eye opening for me. I knew that there was so much about you that I loved, but hearing about what brought you here—what brought you to me—I knew I needed to do something to always have a piece of me with you.”
“You already did that, Alex. I have your dog tags. They mean more to me than anything else in the world.”
“Well this can be a close second. Because I saw it and instantly thought of you.”
He opened the box and a silver necklace lay inside with a small, sparkling butterfly dangling from the end. No amount of willpower could stop the tears that immediately coated my eyes and fell down my cheeks. The butterfly was my symbol, my way of expressing freedom, and here was Alex, recognizing it in the most meaningful way.