The discomfiture of the young couple was patent, and in no way lessened by the raising of his lordship’s quizzing-glass. Endymion, red to the roots of his hair, stammered: “I ca-came to enquire after — after Felix, sir! And to have a word with Harry!”
“Only Harry has just stepped out,” said Charis, courageously supporting him. “But only for a moment, so I begged C-cousin Endymion to wait for his return!”
His lordship, suppressing a desire to laugh, responded with an amiability the stricken pair thought sinister in the extreme: “How fortunate, then, that I should have arrived in time to relieve you of suspense, Endymion! I am glad to be able to tell you that Felix is on the mend, and will, I trust, shortly be well enough to return to London. So now you need not wait any longer! If your errand to Harry is important, may I suggest that you charge Buddle with a message for him? No doubt he will be happy to call at your lodging!”
In the face of this annihilating speech, there was nothing else for Endymion to do than to retire, in the best order possible. A wild idea of disclosing the truth to Alverstoke entered his mind only to be dismissed. For one thing, the message conveyed to him by Charis’s eyes was unmistakeable; for another, he had been taken at a disadvantage, and had had no time in which to prepare his announcement, or to assemble the arguments in favour of a marriage which he knew, on his mother’s authority, would be unacceptable to the Marquis.
When the door shut behind him, the Marquis let his eye-glass fall, and advanced into the room, saying: “In the absence of both your sister and your aunt, Charis, it behooves me to tell you that it is not at all the thing for you to be entertaining young men without even the chaperon age of your brother. In fact, it is quite improper!”
She blushed, trembled, and could only master her voice sufficiently to stammer: “A cousin! Surely — when he is Harry’s friend — and wanted only to know how Felix goes on —!”
“You are a mighty poor liar, my child,” he commented. “That may stand to your credit, but you must learn to be more skilful before you play off your tricks on such an old hand as I am! Oh, no, pray don’t dissolve into tears! I have the greatest dislike of weeping females. I’ll give you a piece of good advice: never treat your flirtations au serieux, and always conduct them with discretion!”
She tried to smile, but it was a wan effort. The familiar and paralysing sense of boredom began to creep over him; he repressed it, and said with a faint smile: “Blue-devilled? I have every sympathy with you, and will present you with another leaf from my book: these little affairs can be delightful, or they can be painful, but they don’t last, believe me! You won’t, of course, but you should: I speak from a vast experience. Yes, isn’t it shocking? Don’t tell your aunt!”
She gave a hysterical laugh, but said: “It isn’t like that!”
“Of course not: it never is!” he replied.
“You don’t understand!” she exclaimed bitterly.
“That,” said his lordship, with a touch of acidity, “is a foolish accusation which lacks even the saving grace of originality! Every generation, my child, has said, or thought, that the preceding one was devoid of understanding or experience. Let us turn to another subject! When I left Hertfordshire Felix was sitting out of bed for the first time, playing cards with Jessamy. As he was also expressing a strong desire for a mutton-chop I fancy that it won’t be many days before he is restored to you.”
She attempted another smile, but it conveyed little gladness; and it was almost listlessly that she murmured: “Oh! Dear Felix! Such a relief!”
Alverstoke found her so exasperating that he was obliged to bite back a caustic rejoinder. It would certainly make her start to cry again, and lachrymose females ranked high on the list of his pet abominations. He thought it prudent to take his leave without disclosing the Alver-scheme to her. It was obvious that the silly girl had fallen violently in love with his equally silly cousin, and would probably revolt him with an attack of the vapours if she learned that she was shortly to be removed from Endymion’s ambit.
He was inclined to think that no very serious thought of matrimony had entered Endymion’s head, for as he had no idea that he was supposed to wish his heir to make an advantageous marriage he could not imagine why (if Endymion did want to marry Charis) the silly cawker had not applied to him for support. Endymion invariably laid all his problems before him, and he must know that his cousin’s influence would be of paramount importance. Probably he was passing through one of his fits of gallantry, and would soon recover from it. However, since Charis seemed to be developing a lasting passion, and was just the sort of girl to go into a decline if her hopes were blighted, the sooner the affair was nipped in the bud the better it would be: he would drop a word of warning in Endymion’s ear.
Since he had never done such a thing before this deviation from the normal operated powerfully on Endymion, but scarcely in accordance with his lordship’s intention. Endymion carried the news of the intervention to Charis, who turned as white as her shift, and exclaimed: “I knew it! He means to separate us! Oh, what are we to do?”
“Well, what if he does?” said Harry, on whom the lovers’ troubles and indecisions were beginning to pall. “You’re not dependent on him, are you, Endymion?”
“No — that is, he makes me a devilish handsome allowance, y’know. I’ve about £ 2000 a year of my own — and the expectancy, of course, but to tell you the truth I never set much store by that. Well, what I mean is, who’s to say he won’t get buckled himself?”
“Oh, I shouldn’t think he would! Not at his age!” said Harry. “And if he doesn’t he can’t disinherit you, can he? Any more than he can have you sent off in a crack to foreign parts! I’m dashed if I can see why you should be in such a quake!”
“It ain’t that,” growled Endymion. “I mean, I’m not afraid of Cousin Vernon! It’s — it’s his sisters, and my mother, and Frederica! I daresay you don’t know.”
This inarticulate appeal for understanding touched a chord of sympathy. Harry had had no personal experience of the trials which Endymion so obviously feared, but he had the instinctive male dread of feminine storms. He said, in an awed voice: “Jupiter! I hadn’t thought of that! Lord, what a dust they would kick up!”
Endymion cast him a look of gratitude. “Ay, that’s it. Not my mother,” he added scrupulously. “Never kicks up a dust, precisely.”
“Well, if that’s so — ”
“Takes to her bed,” said Endymion simply. “Spasms! Got a weak heart. If I was to tell her I was going to marry Charis, she’d go Into strong convulsions: always does when any of us puts her in a stew! Then Cousin Harriet would send for that devilish doctor of hers, Hal-ford, and I should have the pair of them ringing a peal over me as if I was a dashed murderer! Devilish unpleasant, y’know! Mustn’t drive one’s mother to pop off the hooks: shocking thing to do! Besides, I don’t want to: fond of her!”
“Oh, no, no!” Charis said quickly. “I wouldn’t have you do so for the world! Poor Mrs Dauntry, how can she help but feel as she does? Oh, how sorry I am for her!”
Deeply moved, Endymion seized her hand, and kissed it fervently, informing her that she was an angel. Her brother, less enthusiastic, recommended her not to be mawkish; and told Endymion, bristling in defence of his adored, that he would sing a different tune when she began to be sorry for him too. “Which is what she will do, you mark my words!” he said. “You may call it angelic to be for ever trying to please everyone, and being sorry for those she can’t please, but I don’t! Addle-brained is what I call it!”
“Oh, no!” uttered Charis imploringly.
“Oh, yes!” he retorted. “Told you so before! If you don’t take care, Charis, you’ll end by being sorry for yourself! All for the want of a little resolution! What if Mrs Dauntry and Frederica don’t like it? They’ll come round! And you needn’t look at me as ugly as bull-beef, Endymion, because I’ll say what I choose to my own sister!”