“Really?”
“Yep, it’s an early indicator if you’re doing well or not. You’ve basically taken possession of her. You’ll see many girls will take notice of this as you walk off the school grounds. This’ll pay off in spades later on.”
“What do you mean by ‘pay off’?”
“Okay, I’m about to sound like a complete ass, but if you want to date someone like Peggy, you have to become someone she can date. She can’t have an awkward freshman chasing her. She’ll cut you off at the knees. A girl who’s a junior will only go out with a freshman if it’s socially acceptable.”
I smirked.
“You’re right, you do sound like a jerk, but I think I understand. I have to become cool enough that I can get out of the ‘friends’ zone.”
“Don’t get me wrong. Peggy isn’t like that. If she wanted you, she would move heaven and earth to be with you. She’s one of the best human beings I know. You’ll be the luckiest guy in the world if you date her. But the cold fact is she’ll never see you for the great guy I know you are until other girls start to notice.”
“Yeah, Cindy was telling me a little about that. She said girls are attracted to men other women want.”
“Cindy’s a smart girl. You’d do well to listen to her. The goal out front of the school is to get the girls to start buzzing about you as a potential date. Up to this point, it’s been about you coming out. You started out by showing up at school all grown up. Then you did a brilliant thing in just being you. You gave Peggy a shirt when she really needed it. You have no idea how that affected the girls at this school. It created a buzz about you being a nice guy. Cindy took all that and put it into a package that had all the girls checking you out. Friday, when they see you with a date, they’ll be jealous it’s not them on your arm. Next week you’ll start having girls approach you.”
“Okay, I get what you guys are doing. What do I need to do to make this date a success?”
“It’s just human nature that boys try to chase and capture girls. It’s a girl’s job to run and ward off guys. We need to change that mindset or you’ll never get past the first date with this girl. On the walk over, take your time and ask her about herself. Let her feel you care about her. You’ll never get into trouble if they’re talking about themselves unless you become judgmental or get too personal too soon.”
“Got it.”
“When you get to Jerry’s, find out what she wants to order and then order for her. This shows you’re a gentleman and you’re taking care of her. You’re no longer chasing her; you’re taking the initial step in changing the dynamics so she can get to know you. She probably has very little experience and this may put her off a little bit, but it just shows you’re confident. This is the type of thing that’ll set you apart from all the other guys she’s ever gone out with or will ever go out with.”
I nodded. He was the master, so I wasn’t about to question him.
“If she asks you about yourself, give her a complete answer and then turn the conversation back to her.”
I was a little confused.
“What do you mean by giving ‘a complete answer’?”
“If you give her a half-assed answer she’ll think you’re a fake. Take your time and tell her what she wants to know and then turn it back to her. You want the conversation ratio to be about 85% about her.”
“But what if she asks me about something that’s personal?”
“Good, you’re thinking. You can tell her it’s personal.”
“But won’t she think I’m being evasive?”
“Maybe, but you’ll get more respect having some boundaries than telling her things you probably shouldn’t. Here’s a great example: Cindy asked me yesterday if I’d ever dated Peggy. I told her yes I did, my junior year for about six weeks. I felt comfortable telling her because I’m sure she already knew. If not, it was something she could ask Peggy about. Then she asked me if Peggy was a natural redhead. Once again, she already knows she is, but it’s not my place to tell Peggy’s business. The real question was did we sleep together. That’s nobody’s business but Peggy’s and mine.”
I nodded in understanding.
“While talking to her, make sure you’re sitting on the edge of your seat facing her. By doing this, your body language is telling her you’re interested in what she’s saying. Don’t stare at her, but be sure you make eye contact. Don’t make her think you have anything but her on your mind.”
Good to know; I knew I hated it when I was with someone and it seemed as if they’d rather be somewhere else.
“Okay, controversial subjects to stay away from: do not ask her about her ex-boyfriends or her sexual experience. Do not gossip. If you’re a big gossip, she’ll assume you’ll gossip about her. Do not put anyone down. I think you get the idea; keep it positive.”
Greg gathered his thoughts.
“After you’re done eating, tell her she’s going for a walk in the park with you. If she does, then things are still going well. If not, this is her chance to bail, and this is important: I don’t care if you’re having the worst time in the world, you ask her to go for the walk. The reason is your date will set your reputation. She’ll be telling her friends all about it. If you’re an ass, you will never get another date.”
That made sense. Greg had a great reputation and had dated all types before he and Cindy hooked up.
“The reason I told you to tell her you were going for a walk is because most guys are whiney little beggars. Girls hate that. You hear them say stuff like ‘please baby let’s do this’ or ‘can we do that.’ As soon as you go there, the girl will have you wrapped around her little finger and they know it. By you taking control, it breaks the whole run, entice and evade cycle. They turn themselves over to a more mature and confident man.”
I wrapped my brain around what he said as he continued.
“Head over to the lake area and go to the bridge. When you get there, tell her you’re going to kiss her. Most guys make the mistake of asking if they can. If you ask and she’s nervous, she’ll tell you ‘no’ nine times out of ten. I take that back, she’ll probably kiss you because you’re a Dawson,” he said, and smirked to break the tension. “What it’ll do is take your nervousness away. You’ll feel more confident knowing she’s more nervous than you are. If you tell her, and she doesn’t want to be kissed, she’ll tell you. You telling her you’re going to kiss her will give her permission to do it.”
“Now this is the tricky part. You will not force her! If you’re going to be in control, you have to take the responsibility of making sure she’s a willing participant. If you have any doubt, ask her.”
“How do I pull that off?”
“Tell her what you’re going to do and then pause. If she looks hesitant, then ask her if it’s okay. Let me give you an example. You’re going to kiss Tina. Say ‘I’m going to kiss you.’ Don’t just grab her and kiss her. Take your time. Look her deep in her eyes and then kiss her. If you see her hesitate, ask her. ‘Tina, is it okay if I kiss you?’ If she doesn’t answer right away, tell her it’s alright to say ‘no.’ If she says stop, you will stop right now. I mean it David, NO means NO.”
“I know.”
“David, the one thing that will disappoint me is hearing you’re the kind of guy who forces himself on a girl. I can’t stress this enough. Don’t be that loser.”
I’d never seen Greg so intense. At that moment, I never intended to let something like that happen. We’d been raised to respect women. I just nodded.
“I don’t think you need any advice on kissing. You seem to have it down, according to Cindy. Do not become an octopus. If you go straight for her ass or breasts, you’ll be shut down before you get going. No one wants to be fighting off his or her date all night. She’ll revert to the run-and-hide, and you’ll get a rep as a guy who can’t be trusted. Keep your hands on her waist until she gets into it. Once she’s going good, take her by the hand and take her to the picnic area just off to the side of the bridge. It’s secluded and you’ll have plenty of privacy. That’ll give her confidence and you’ll get much farther. And finally, be prepared.”