“To be honest, I was surprised too. Somehow, I knew I needed to own that night and my role in it. I’m sorry I allowed you to be hurt.”
She looked shocked.
“But you saved me! You didn’t do anything to hurt me,” Lily said.
I blinked in surprise. I wasn’t sure what I should do about this. Lily and I were never close, even though I had recently started to hang out with the stoner group. She was a cute girl. At the time, I was much more of a nerd, and girls like her didn’t give me the time of day. It was obvious this hero worship had built up over the summer. I was sure if she knew me, she could quickly be cured. I’m not the hero kind of guy.
“No, Lily, a better friend would have realized you were too drunk and needed help. All I cared about that night was getting wasted.”
She looked at me as if I were nuts.
“Nonsense, I was the one who drank so much I essentially killed myself.”
“What?”
“The doctor told me I drank enough to put myself into a coma. No one forced me to drink.”
I guess I’d never thought of it that way. I actually felt as if a weight was lifted. I had carried around the responsibility for what happened. She was right: I didn’t make her drink. I needed to let it go. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I knew if I continued to dwell on this, I would slip back into depression. Uncle John had pointed out numerous times I couldn’t take on the responsibility for the actions of others. I thought I could finally forgive myself. Lily could see I was much happier that I knew this.
“Thank you for saying that. I was afraid you’d hate me.”
“No. I’m just thankful you were there,” Lily said.
“Stop,” I said to get her to slow down. “I just happened to be trained in CPR. My training kicked in when I saw you weren’t breathing. I’m not anyone special. I saw you were in trouble and I reacted.”
“But...” she started.
I interrupted her.
“Okay! Can we agree you’re thankful I helped you out? Please, I’m really uncomfortable with the whole hero thing and no, you don’t owe me anything. I would never expect anything for what I did.”
She had a grin from ear to ear.
“Alright, you have a deal. I’ll back off with the hero talk and respect your wishes.”
She screwed her face up and then turned to look out the window once before taking a deep breath.
“One thing the police never made public is they found Rohypnol in my blood work. The combination was almost fatal.”
What the hell? Rohypnol was known as a date-rape drug. No one had ever mentioned Lily was a target. If I’d known, I would have been more cooperative with the police. I was sure they didn’t tell me because I was a suspect. How could someone do that? The scary part was we were just kids. I mean, we were all in middle school at the time!
“Do you have any idea who might’ve slipped it into your drink?”
Her eyes looked dead.
“I’ve gone over it in my head many times, but the drug must have done something because I honestly can’t remember. I’ve talked to Sharon about the party a few times without telling about the drugs. I’m really embarrassed it happened. I could’ve easily been raped. That is not how I want to lose my virginity.”
She suddenly went bright red when she realized what she’d told me. I instinctively pulled her into my embrace. Her head rested on my chest. She began to cry softly. She obviously had held this in for a long time. I became aware we were in the middle of the cafeteria. All conversation had gone quiet around us as everyone tried to figure out what was going on. A crying girl will do that, but I didn’t care. I felt her shudder and then stiffen. I think she also realized our surroundings.
“Oh God, David, I’m so sorry I just dumped all that on you.”
I saw the fear in her eyes.
“Lily, I’m flattered you felt comfortable enough to tell me that. You have no worries about me talking about this.”
I saw her visibly relax. Teenagers could be cruel. I’d seen it before, and it made me a little sick to think people could be so uncaring of other’s feelings. I was a nerd and so were most of my friends. We experienced it on numerous occasions.
I needed time to process what she had just told me. I decided to change the course of this conversation.
“Do you see the old gang?”
“Not really. I run into Sharon occasionally. She lives down the street and has invited me to some parties, but after that night I decided to make some changes,” she said.
She looked out the window again. Then she smiled.
“Plus I got grounded for the summer. Dad wasn’t happy. I think you know what that’s like,” she said.
I knew what she meant. I just nodded.
“David, I really no longer have any friends,” she continued.
“Of course you do.”
She looked into my eyes and I just nodded. Lily gave me a hug. I suddenly noticed she felt good in my arms. She had her next class across campus and had to get going. I went over to where my crew was eating and sat down. Tami raised her eyebrows, gave me a pointed look and then indicated with her eyes towards Lily as she walked away. I shrugged.
“Lily just wanted to thank me for helping her out.”
Alan couldn’t keep quiet.
“What did you do to make her cry? Did you say something stupid to her? I know Tami’s always calling you ‘stupid boy.’ Is she a good kisser?”
Jeff came to my defense.
“Hang on, Sherlock. Even though those are all very good questions, I’m not sure they’re really appropriate.”
“Why not? We all want to know what’s going on. So, David, are you and Lily going out?” Alan asked.
Tami leaned over and whacked Alan on the forehead.
“Ouch, what was that for?”
Tami just smirked.
“Settle down. Let me handle this,” she announced.
That got Alan to shut up. Everyone knew Tami was the master at getting people to talk. I waited for the interrogation to begin. She looked at me.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
I felt my eyes begin to water and I just got up and walked out. She caught me off guard. I had tried to tamp down my emotions for Lily’s sake. Then I tried to play it cool with the gang all there. I think I could have handled any other question but that one.
“What the heck?” Alan asked, which was followed by the sound of Alan’s forehead being smacked.
“Ouch, what was that for?” he complained.
Chapter 2 – Football?
Monday August 26
Right after lunch, I had PE. By the time I got there, my emotions were back under control.
For first semester, I signed up for swimming with Coach Engels. He was also the freshman football coach. We were lucky to have a swimming pool. A few years back one of the wealthy boosters organized a fundraiser for a swimming complex. We were one of the few schools in our area that had one. I really liked to swim. Dad had gotten me involved in swimming through the park district. Next year I’d be old enough to be a lifeguard. I think that would be a great summer job.
“Dawson, get over here,” Coach Engels said.
Crud, what had I done? It was only the first day, after all.
“Coach?” I asked.
I could see several other freshmen watch us. I would shortly be the talk of the school, with a crying girl at lunch and now Coach getting on my case. Little did I know that when I helped Peggy this morning, it would be an even bigger topic of conversation.
Coach turned to the others.
“You guys get in the water and start swimming laps.”
He waited until we were alone.
“John called me. He said you’re going out for football.”
I looked confused. I realized Coach was talking about my uncle. They’d been college roommates. I also knew better than to contradict my Uncle John. For the past few months, he’d been my anchor. If he said I was going out for football, I was going out for football.