Turns out all three girls were freshmen on the volleyball team. Sue and Janet were twins. I honestly couldn’t tell them apart. They were strikers and nearly as tall as I was, and they were cute. Marcy was a setter. She was defiantly doable. I would rate her a solid seven. All three girls were very athletic-looking and I enjoyed their company. When we got about a mile and half into our run, the t-shirt got to be too much. It had started to restrict my breathing, so I just pulled it off.
I had been running behind the girls so I could check out their butts. Marcy turned back to make some comment when she saw my change of attire. She tripped and started to go down. I grabbed her waist and picked her up before she hit the pavement.
“Whoa! You okay?” I asked.
“Dang, David! Catch me, I think I’m falling!” one of the twins said.
I set Marcy down. She was a little shaken up. She nearly had done a face-plant on the sidewalk.
“Thank you. That could have really hurt.”
She seemed to be okay. I smiled at them.
“Okay, I’ve looked at your cute butts long enough. If you can catch me you can have mine.”
The three girls squealed and the race was on. I made a point of staying just out of reach. Marcy almost caught me when she cheated and took a shortcut through a parking lot. I finally led them back to their dorm and we all collapsed on the lawn. When we caught our breath, we helped each other stretch. I think the girls were being a little free with their hands. We went in and all took showers. Then Marcy and I headed back to the game.
When we got back, it was halftime and the band was playing. Florida had the game well in hand and the crowd was thinning out. I took Marcy into the stands and found Tom. He gave me a funny look when he saw me with Marcy.
“Look, Tom, see what Kentucky gave me for my recruiting visit? What do you think Florida’ll give me when I visit them? I bet it’s some crummy baseball cap.”
Tom didn’t miss a beat.
“I’m not sure that’s going to fit in your suitcase.”
“I hadn’t thought of that.”
Marcy smacked my arm.
“Tom, I’m Marcy. I’m David’s guide for the day. We’re supposed to make sure our guests stay out of trouble, but this one has been more trouble than he’s worth. He made me chase him all over campus.”
“Yeah, she got two of her friends and they tried to grab my butt, but I was too fast for them.”
Tom was chuckling.
“David, you’re not very smart, are you?” Tom asked.
“What do you mean?”
“I think the whole object is to let them catch you.”
“No way! They dressed me up like a gay porn star, and then chased me all over the campus. I’m not sure I would have been safe with any of them if they’d caught me. I had to wear them out first."
Now the whole section cracked up as Marcy just shook her head. Tom wasn’t sure what to do with me. Our row had thinned out so everyone scooted down to allow Marcy to join us. I put her next to Tom so she could explain what really happened. Towards the end of the game, Tom asked Marcy what her plans were for me for the rest of the day.
“We normally take the recruits to the athletic dorm and feed them. Then we have a social gathering that lasts till about midnight.”
Tom looked at me.
“That’s plan A. Plan B is going with me and the guys I work with to dinner, and then we head to the hotel. Which do you want to do?”
"Hmmm, spend the evening with my hot chaperone and go to a party, or spend the evening with you and six other old guys and listen to you talk about work. I think I’ll go with the hot girl."
“Thank God. I was afraid I was going to have to feed you again. Marcy, I hope you have plenty of food, because this one’s a pig.”
“Love you too, Tom.”
MARCY AND I WENT TO the football dorm after the game. Marcy was something of a social butterfly and seemed to know everyone. She introduced me to so many people I stopped trying to learn their names. We finally found the rest of the recruits. The two quarterbacks started to give me shit about having a girl chaperone. There were ten recruits visiting this weekend. The chaperones left to talk to the recruiting staff to update them on how things had gone. Once we were alone, the ribbing began in earnest.
“Dude, how do you rate? We all got guys who play for the team.”
"When you filled out your weekend form you were supposed to check the box whether you were gay or not. I checked ‘not,’" I said.
“You’re so full of shit. They told us there’s supposed to be a party with plenty of cooter for all of us.”
“Did you all bring condoms?” I asked the other recruits.
They looked confused.
“Guys, think about it. If these girls’ll do all of us, what do you think they do every week when a new batch of recruits come in?” I asked them.
“Dammit, Dawson, now you’ve ruined that for me. I hadn’t thought of that.”
“I’m just saying I’d double-wrap it if I was going to take one of them on,” I sagely offered.
“Don’t listen to him. These are supposed to be some hot chicks.”
I looked at them seriously.
“Guys, all kidding aside, but do you seriously want to risk going home and giving your sister a venereal disease?” I asked with a straight face.
It took a while, but finally one of them got it.
“I’m not banging my sister!”
“Hmm. Looks like you’re the only one,” I said, as I tried hard to keep from laughing.
The chaperones came back to find me at the bottom of a dogpile. Marcy helped me get up after the others had gotten off me.
“Why am I not surprised to find you at the bottom of this?” she asked.
“I don’t know. I guess they don’t have a sense of humor.”
She could see them all smirking at me, so she knew we were just having fun.
We went on a tour of the facilities before dinner. During the tour, every one of the recruits managed to get their chaperone aside to ask for condoms. Then we all ate dinner in a private room. During that time, Don Berta stuck his head in the door and indicated that Marcy should join him. A minute later, she came back in, grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and pulled me out of the room. For some odd reason, everyone else found that highly amusing. We found Don in the hall.
“I hate to ask this, but why do all of these guys want condoms?” he asked me.
“They all want to have sex, of course.”
He looked at Marcy. She just shrugged. He looked at me again.
“Are you saying that you don’t want to have sex?”
“Of course I do. I just planned ahead.”
He still looked confused.
“Coach, what would happen if one of your recruits got a nasty STD and took it home with him?” I asked.
That got his attention.
“Look at it as a marketing tool,” I continued. “If each recruit was given a six-pack of condoms in his welcome bag, how cool do you think they would think Kentucky is?”
“Okay. Come with me!” he ordered.
“Shit, what did I do wrong?” I asked, and immediately regretted the language.
“Nothing. I’m taking you up to my office, so I can give you an offer letter. We can’t give you an official letter of intent yet. However, I want you to know we’re serious about you coming to Kentucky. Plus, I can’t have you working with Joe to out-recruit me for the next three-and-a-half years.”
Marcy suddenly realized that I was a freshman in high school. Crud!
“Marcy, run over to Health Services and bring back sixty condoms,” he said to her, and waved his hand to shoo her out the door.
Her eyes got wide as saucers, and her mouth was moving, but nothing came out.
“Just go! Tell them I sent you. Have them call over here if they have questions.”
He dismissed her with another wave. She shook her head, and left without a word.
“I’d like to be a fly on the wall when Marcy asks for sixty condoms,” I said as I followed him up to his office.