“But all the Threadgoode girls were pretty. Oh, not that they didn’t work at it. Especially Leona. She was the vainest one of the girls, and she didn’t have a sense of humor about it, either.
“Course, my looks were always just passing, because I was so tall. I used to want to hunch over a little because of it, but Momma Threadgoode used to say, ‘Ninny, the good Lord made you tall so you could be closer to heaven …’ But I’m not as tall now as I used to be. When you get old, you shrink.
“Isn’t hair a funny thing? So many people are just crazy about their hair. Of course, I guess it’s just natural. The mention of hair runs all through the Bible: Samson, and that Sheba woman, and that girl that washed Jesus’ feet with her hair.… Isn’t it odd, the colored want straight hair and we’re always wanting curly hair. I had brown hair at one time, but now I use Silk and Silver Number Fifteen … I used to use Number Sixteen, but it made my hair too dark, and it looked kinda dyed-lookin’.
“Back then, I just twisted it up in a knot and went on about my business. Not Miss Leona. Her hair was always a sore spot between her and Idgie. I guess Idgie was around nine or ten, and she’d been over in Troutville, playing with the children there, and came home with a case of head lice. So we all had to wash our hair with this mixture of sulphur, kerosene, and lard. I never heard so much screaming and hollering. You would have thought that Leona was being burned at the stake. Leona wouldn’t speak to poor Idgie after that.
“During that time, Buddy came home from school and saw that Idgie was pretty low. He had a football game to go to and when he was leaving the house that night, he said, ‘Come on, Little Bit,’ and he took her down to the football game and let her sit right on the bench with the rest of the players. That was Buddy for you …
“I don’t think Leona ever really forgave Idgie until after she married. Leona was vain about her looks until the day she died. One time, she read an article in the McCall’s magazine that said anger and hate could cause wrinkles. She was always threatening Idgie she was going to kill her, but she kept a smile on her face while she was doing it.
“Of course, Leona did get the richest husband, and her wedding was exquisite. She had been so scared that Idgie was going to ruin her wedding, but she needn’t have been, because Idgie spent most of the day with the groom’s family and charmed them so, that by the end of the day, they thought she was the grandest thing on bush or tree. Even at that age, she had that Threadgoode charm. And nobody in the world had charm like Buddy Threadgoode.”
Mrs. Threadgoode stopped for a moment to take a sip from her cup, and reflected, “You know, this little coconut cake reminds me of the picnic, that awful day.
“I was already engaged to Cleo, so I must have been seventeen at the time. It was a Saturday afternoon in June, and we had just had the best time at our BYO church picnic. The young people’s group from the Andalusia Baptist Church had ridden the train over for the day, and Momma and Sipsey had baked about ten coconut cakes for the occasion. The boys were wearing their white summer suits and Cleo had just gotten himself a brand-new straw hat from Poppa’s store, but for some reason, Buddy had talked Cleo into letting him wear his new hat on that day.
“After the picnic, Essie Rue and I came home with the cake plates, and all the Threadgoode boys went down to the train station to see the group from Andalusia off, like they always did. Momma was out in the backyard with a pan, picking figs off her tree, and I was out there with her when it happened …
“We heard the train start up, and just as it pulled out, the whistle blew. Then we heard the train screech and grind to a halt, and at the same moment we heard the girls screaming.
“I looked at Momma, who all of a sudden clutched at her heart and fell down on her knees and cried out, ‘Oh no, not one of my babies! Dear God, not one of my babies!’
“Poppa Threadgoode had heard the noise from the store and ran over to the station. I was on the front porch with Momma when the men came up the walk. The minute I saw that straw hat Edward was carrying, I knew it was Buddy.
“He had been flirting around with that pretty Marie Miller that day, and as the train pulled away, he’d stepped on the track, tipped his hat, and flashed his lady’s smile at her; just as the whistle blew. They say he never even heard the train that was coming up behind him. Oh, how I wish to this day Cleo had never lent him that straw hat.”
She shook her head. “You just don’t know, it liked to have killed us all. But the one that took it the hardest was Idgie. She must have been twelve or thirteen at the time, and had been over in Troutville playing ball when it happened. Cleo had to go over and get her.
“You never saw anybody hurt so much. I thought she would die right along with him. It would break your heart to look at her. She ran away the day of the funeral. Just couldn’t stand it. And when she did come home, all she did was go upstairs and sit in Buddy’s room for hours on end, just sit up there in the dark. And when she couldn’t bear to be home any longer, she’d just take off and go stay with Sipsey over in Troutville
… but she never did cry. She was too hurt to cry.… You know, a heart can be broken, but it keeps on beating, just the same.
“Momma Threadgoode was worried sick over her, but Poppa said to let her go and do what she had to do. Course, she was never the same after that, not until she met Ruth, then she started getting back to her old self. But I know she never really got over Buddy … none of us did.
“But, I don’t want to dwell on sad times. That wouldn’t be right. Besides, just like Idgie meeting Ruth, God never shuts a door unless he opens another, and I believe He must have sent Ruth over to stay with us that summer for a reason … ‘His Eye Is on the Sparrow, so I Know He Watches Me.’ ”
DECEMBER 1, 1931
Radio Star in Whistle Stop
Hollywood has nothing on us. Our own Essie Rue Limeway, who is the organist for the Baptist church and the accompanist for the Jolly Belles Ladies’ Barber Shop Quartet, can be heard every morning at 6:30, this month, on “King Biscuit Time,” on W.A.P.I. radio, playing the piano on a commercial that she made for the Stanley Charles Organ and Piano Company. When Mr. Charles says, “Remember, folks, I’ll hold your organ or piano till Christmas,” that’s Essie Rue playing “Jingle Bells” in the background. So be sure and listen.
Essie told me that Stanley Charles has entirely too many organs and pianos in stock this year, and needs to sell them in a hurry. Essie says, if you go in and mention her name that he will give you a discount. The store is located in downtown Birmingham, right at the streetcar stop, across from Gus’s Hot Dogs.
By the way, the O fell off Opal’s Beauty Shop sign, and just missed hitting Biddie Louise Otis in the head. Opal says she is glad that she wasn’t hurt, but wasn’t it a coincidence that Mrs. Otis’s name started with an O too? Julian says he is fixing it sometime this week, but Biddie says she is going in the back door from now on.
… Dot Weems …
P.S. Opal says she’s just got in a consignment of human hair ringlets … So if you have any place that needs a little more hair … she says to come on in …
JANUARY 5, 1986
Evelyn Couch had locked herself in her sewing room and was eating a second pint of Baskin-Robbins chocolate chip ice cream and staring at the table, piled high with the Butterick sewing patterns she had not touched since the day she had bought them in a fit of good intentions. Ed was in his den, busy watching his football game, and that was fine with her because, lately, he always looked at her whenever she had anything fattening to eat and said in mock surprise, “Is that on your diet?”