“Forget about the money; your reputation is at stake. It’s embarrassing to hear others talk about your ineptitude. It’s your job, and you can’t even do it right.”
Sun Hee’s acerbic words lacerated Seok Chun’s pride, deepening the wound. He tried to suppress his fit of anger, as he came close to striking her with his fist.
Sun Hee perceived a violent atmosphere and tried to refrain from making any more critical remarks. But she could not remain silent about the issue; she felt the urge to say one more thing. She disposed of the soapy water and took another shot at Seok Chun.
“I don’t know what you’re drawing over there, but whatever it is, you know it’s not going to work.”
Seok Chun glared at Sun Hee and responded resolutely, “I don’t care what you have to say.”
Sun Hee shook her head in disdain. “You’re really something, you know that? You have no ambition to go to college. Your project shows no sign of progress. You turned down a position as a supervisor at your factory. I don’t know anymore. You tell me what’s going on in that head of yours.”
Seok Chun raised his voice, “All you do is insult me! That’s all you’re capable of.”
He slammed his fist on the desk. “I am a lathe operator, and a proud one. Didn’t you marry me knowing that?”
Sun Hee yelled back in a shrill, piercing voice. “What does our past have anything to do with what we’re talking about now? Who cares what we did in the past? I care about how we live today and how we’re going to live tomorrow!”
They glared at each other with menacing rage. Seok Chun could not think of a coherent response to counter Sun Hee. Resentment pervaded the chilly atmosphere between the two, and after a seemingly intolerable moment of silence, Sun Hee spoke.
“How can we live like this? There needs to be some kind of change in our life.” She sighed grievously. “Our future looks bleak. Do whatever you want, but just know that you need to change your life so that our lives can improve.”
“Do you really think that?” Seok Chun asked suspiciously.
“Yes,” Sun Hee said adamantly. “You’ve walled yourself, Ho Nam, and me up in this… this impenetrable prison. Why can’t you see that?”
“What? So you think it’s my fault? Is that what it is?”
“How else can you see it?”
“What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Can’t you see that you’re a bitch!”
Sun Hee was flabbergasted by Seok Chun.
Silence ended their argument.
Out of spite, Sun Hee stopped tending to Seok Chun’s needs. She felt that washing his clothes and ironing his pants were unnecessary. He’s just going to the factory to turn the lathe; he doesn’t need clean clothes, she thought. Sun Hee also stopped doing some of the other household chores that she used to do. She did not want to be burdened by those menial tasks anymore. They were meaningless to her, and, more importantly, she did not care.
Based on their outward appearance, others believed the family to be harmonious, unperturbed by marital problems. However, Seok Chun worked late nights at the factory and Sun Hee came home late because of back-to-back performances. The two avoided each other, but they also neglected their son. There were days, of course, when they would not argue and not get under each other’s skin. Yet they still harbored bitterness toward each other, maintaining the abyss between them.
On the day of their son’s birthday, Seok Chun brought home an apprentice and an elderly equipment manager from the factory. Upon entering the living room, they saw there were already two of Sun Hee’s guests sitting on the floor. Sun Hee was cooking in the kitchen.
It had been a while since the house was filled with laughter and chatter. Delicious dishes decorated the table and were certainly reflective of a grand party. Dark red wine and cold beer filled the glasses to the brim. They raised their drinks to wish Ho Nam the best as the future of the nation and immediately downed them.
The equipment manager from the factory asked Seok Chun to play something on the guitar for them.
Seok Chun took out the guitar and sat in the corner of the room. He placed the guitar on his lap the way a girlfriend would sit on her boyfriend’s lap and began to strum the guitar with his stubby fingers. Although he stumbled around on the guitar, his emotions had gone to a far distant place, where the sound of the roaring rapids rushed down the river and peace reigned. At times, he played the wrong chords, but it was still an emotional performance.
Sun Hee looked annoyed at her husband. “Please stop,” she interjected. “Oldies are goodies, but inappropriate here. Besides, you can’t even play them properly—”
“What’s the matter with you?” scolded the equipment manager, who had been immersed in the music. Seok Chun was about to set the guitar down, but the equipment manager encouraged him to continue playing. “Ah, come on. Play one more.”
“Then give the guitar to this comrade,” said Sun Hee, turning to her colleague. “He’s a professional guitarist from our music department.”
The equipment manager looked at the young talent who had combed his hair back with mousse and wore a fashionable suit and tie. After regarding the young man with discontent, the equipment manager spoke calmly. “We will listen to your performance when you are onstage, all right, young man? Don’t take it the wrong way, all right?”
“You’re absolutely right, sir. At a time like this, the host should perform,” said the young talent with a nervous laugh, recognizing the precariousness of the situation.
The equipment manager nodded at Seok Chun and said, “Keep playing. This time, play the one that you played at your wedding. My goodness, what was the name of that song? It was such a good song. Ah! Sun Hee would know. Remember the song that Seok Chun sang for you?”
When Seok Chun remembered the song, his heart writhed in pain. Sun Hee started without Seok Chun’s accompaniment.
Seok Chun struggled to keep up with Sun Hee, but since she sang beautifully, her voice counterbalanced Seok Chun’s ineptitude. Unwittingly, each verse and each note of the song unlocked a blissful memory that had been locked away for so long, a memory that freed him from his present troubles with Sun Hee, a memory that allowed him to experience happiness once again. He was inebriated from the alcohol, the music, and his memories.
The guests swayed and clapped along with the music till their hands were red, and they even requested an encore. Sun Hee sang another song.
The second song also struck a chord with Seok Chun and took him further into the depths of his memory. He remembered their wedding night, when he sang this song for her, and they were standing next to each other with affection that seemed everlasting. She acted coy that night and blushed whenever another song was requested. She looked at the wedding guests and, most importantly, at Seok Chun with loving, tender eyes.
But tonight, the mood had changed since their wedding night. Sun Hee’s voice irritated Seok Chun, and his bitterness toward her resurfaced. Those fond memories were adrift in the vast schism between the couple’s separate lives.
Seok Chun could not contain himself any longer and suddenly stopped playing and set the guitar down. He stood up and glared at Sun Hee. It was a bitter stare. The guests held their breath, bewildered by Seok Chun’s impetuous gesture. Silence fell on the room, and what was only momentary felt like an eternity.
Seok Chun went over to the equipment manager and said loudly, “Would you care for seconds?” He spoke with vigor in order to conceal his embarrassment.