Adam and his gang circled it. “This is the biggest piece of junk I’ve ever seen,” said Adam, kicking one of the old tires and rattling the wooden frame.
“Hey, look at this,” said one of his gang. He pointed to a banner that read: “The Burger Castle: the King of Groovy Food.”
“What a pack of baloney,” said Adam. He reached up and tore down the banner.
“Stop!” cried out Freddy.
Adam turned to him. “What did you say?”
Freddy turned pale. “I… I said, I mean…”
Howie confronted Adam. “He said stop it, you big fathead! Now get out before there’s trouble.”
Adam towered over Howie, who gulped and quickly stepped behind Freddy.
“I tell you what I’m gonna do, Funky. I’m gonna put this stupid float out of its misery.” He turned to his gang. “Ready, boys?”
“Ready,” they all answered.
“Charge,” commanded Adam. He and his gang attacked the float and within minutes turned it into a big pile of junk. Then Adam grabbed Freddy and threw him on top of the pile of junk.
“See ya, Funky,” laughed Adam. He and his gang got on their motor scooters and rode off.
“Freddy,” said Howie fearfully, “are you okay?”
Freddy lay sprawled on top of the ruined float. “Actually, Howie, I’m getting used to this.”
At that moment Nancy came into the barn and shrieked when she saw what had happened to the float. “Freddy Funkhouser, what have you done?”
Freddy lifted his head and started to explain. “It wasn’t my… oh, forget it.”
“Ruined. Absolutely ruined. It’s over, all over. We can’t possibly fix this in time,” she said tearfully. “I’m going to tell Dad. Where is he?”
“Uh, in jail,” answered Howie meekly.
“Jail!”
“It’s a long story, Nanny Boo-boo,” said Freddy wearily.
“I’ll get even with you if it’s the last thing I do, Freddy,” said his sister as she stalked out.
Howie said, “I guess I better be getting home.”
“I guess so.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
“Know a good lawyer?”
“Uh, no.”
“How about a good psychiatrist?”
“Uh, no.”
“Then there’s nothing you can do.”
After Howie left, Freddy just lay there. “Well,” he said to himself, “at least there’s one good thing. I don’t see how it could possibly get any worse.”
Unfortunately, Freddy could not have been any more wrong about that.
CHAPTER11
Alfred returned to the farm later that day. Freddy and his sister gave him big hugs.
“Was it awful in jail, Dad?” asked Nancy.
“I was never in jail, dear,” said her father.
“But Chief Spanker -” began Freddy.
“Wiser and calmer heads prevailed,” said his father. “When I pointed out there was not a shred of evidence tying me to any of these claims of mischievous monsters, Judge Thackery immediately let me go. At least the Judge is no friend of the Spankers. But we’re not out of the woods yet. Chief Spanker said he’s going to keep a close eye on all of us. And there’re a lot of angry people out there because of what happened. There’s even been a big reward offered for their capture.”
“Mischievous monsters?” said Nancy. “What are you talking about?”
Alfred looked at Freddy. “Didn’t you tell your sister what happened?”
“Uh, I kind of forgot.”
Alfred quickly told Nancy all about it. Before he was even finished she was staring pointedly at her little brother. Under her breath she muttered, “Big purple thing, huh?”
Their father said, “Well, we’ve got to get going. We’re going to be late for the dinner hour at the Burger Castle.”
“But we never have any customers!” she declared.
“Now, dear. We still have to go. Some hungry person might come in by accident. I’ll make dinner and you two go and wash up.”
After Freddy ate dinner, he ran to his room to get his chicken costume before they headed to the Burger Castle. He stopped abruptly at his bedroom door. Taped on it was a drawing of Wally. And below the picture were the words “I know everything.” And it was signed “You know who.”
Freddy ripped down the picture and slowly trudged to his sister’s room and knocked on the door.
“Enter, O guilty and shameful one!” his sister cried out.
Freddy went inside. His sister was sitting on the bed wearing a long green cape with a big, high collar and a red paper crown. She held a scepter that was really her baton, and wore large brown boots on her feet. She looked like a giant grasshopper with red hair. Her big costume trunk stood open next to her bed.
Freddy stared at her. “Uh, Nanny Boo-Boo, what are you doing?”
“Ah, my loyal subject. Down on your knees before your queen.”
Freddy’s eyes bugged out. “Excuse me?”
His sister rose. “Or I’ll just have to go and tell Dad all about what I saw outside your deeesssgggusting lab today.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“A big purple blob called Wally?”
“Doesn’t ring a bell.”
“Let me refresh your memory. The same big purple thing ate four hundred pies at a pie fac-tory. And then there was a big blue thing that scared the town of Pookesville to death. And a green and a red thing with two heads that put an entire baseball team in the hospital.”
“It was only the emergency room.”
“Aha!” cried out Nancy triumphantly. “I knew it. At first you didn’t care who knew. You were going to be rich and famous, but now you can’t let anyone find out, can you? Well, it’s going to cost you, you little brainiac.” She peered down at him smiling evilly. “Here’s the deal. You’ll do exactly as I say from now on.”
“Aw, stick a cheese cube up your nose.”
Nancy went to the door and called down the hallway. “Oh, Dad… Freddy can explain why the police were here today.”
“Hold on, hold on!” said Freddy frantically as he shut the door. If Chief Spanker found out about this he would never believe that it was just Freddy’s doing. He would think Freddy’s dad was involved and his father would go to jail for real. But even more than that, Freddy didn’t want his dad to find out that he’d made the Fries in the first place. He’d used his father’s super secret potatoes and nanotechnology without permission. Worse, he’d created the Fries without thinking through the consequences, like his father had taught him to.
His sister was waiting expectantly. Finally, Freddy answered reluctantly, “Okay.”
“Now, my list of demands,” said his sister as she unfolded a piece of paper that was so long it went all the way to the floor. “First, from now on, no more Nanny Boo-Boo. Now my name is Queen Nancy the Nicest of Nantucket.”
Freddy stared at her dumbly. “We’ve never even been to Nantucket,” he said, “and you’re not really very nice.”
“I know that! I just like the way it sounds. Next, you’ll do all my chores and give me all your allowance.”
“But -” Freddy began to protest, but she cut him off.
“Next,” she went on, “When it’s my turn to take out the trash you’ll do it for me.”
“But that’s not fair!”
“Oh, Father,” she called out, “do you want to hear about a big, fat purple -”
Freddy clamped his hands around her mouth. “Okay, okay, I’ll take out the trash.”