CHAPTER15
Later that same night, after Freddy got home from working at the Burger Castle, he hustled to his lab to see the Fries. A storm had blown in and it had started to rain, so Freddy hurried along the path to the barn where his lab was hidden. Suddenly, something flew out of the dark and stung his arm.
“Yeow!” he yelled, and rubbed his arm, his fingers getting all sticky from something. “What the -”
“You’re completely surrounded, Funkhouser,” a voice boomed out. “Your butt is mine.”
Freddy’s spirits plummeted as he watched Adam Spanker and his gang rise up from behind a knoll, paintball guns in hand.
“What do you want?” Freddy called out fearfully.
“I want your freaky friends. I’m gonna turn ’em in and collect that big reward.”
“You better get off my property before I call my dad.”
Bam! Another paintball bullet hit him in the leg. It really hurt, but Freddy bit his lip and didn’t cry out.
Adam laughed. “Like your dad scares me. He’s as crazy as you.”
“Don’t you call my dad names!” said Freddy hotly.
Bam. Another shot in the other leg. Freddy felt like crying now, but he didn’t. Never, ever let the enemy see you cry, he told himself.
“I’m waiting, Funky.”
Freddy thought quickly. Suddenly he had a plan. It just might work, because Adam was like a T-rex – big body but little brain.
“Okay,” Freddy said, “I give up. I can see there’s no way out this time. But we have to go to my laboratory. It’s over there.” Freddy pointed to a large building down the path a bit. “Follow me.”
“Okay, but no funny stuff. I’ll be watching.”
Freddy started walking toward one of the big barns as Spanker and his gang followed. When he got to the barn door, Freddy called out, “Okay, it’s right in here.”
“This better not be a trick, or you’ll be really sorry,” threatened Adam.
“It’s not. You guys win. You’re too tough for me.” He went inside and the others followed.
“Okay, where are your freaky friends?” demanded Adam.
“They’re hiding right over there,” answered Freddy. He pointed at a large pen where a pig was laying in the muck. Freddy said, “I’ll get them. They’re kind of shy.”
He went over, undid the latch on the gate to the pigpen, and suddenly smacked the pig on the rump. It squealed and took off running right at Adam and his gang. They all screamed and scattered as the big pig bore down on them.
While Adam and his gang were running away, Freddy grabbed a small wagon that was sitting next to the wall, pulled it through two loose boards at one end of the barn, and hurried over to a dirt path that ran to his laboratory. He pushed the wagon as fast as he could and then jumped on and flew down the dirt path.
Right about that time Adam and his gang burst out from the barn, shouting after him. Freddy felt paintball bullets whiz by his head. One of them hit his wagon. The rain was falling harder again, but Freddy didn’t care. He heard Adam and his gang running after him, but he was going so fast they weren’t gaining at all. He reached the barn, tripped the secret entrance, and fell through the trapdoor into his lab, landing in the pile of hay.
“Fries, it’s me, Freddy.”
All the Fries quickly assembled in front of him.
“What’s wrong, Freddy?” asked Ziggy. “You look awful.”
Freddy said, “Okay, here’s the deal. Adam Spanker and his gang are heading this way and they’re armed and dangerous. They’ve hit me three times, but nothing vital. When they attack, we’ll pretend to fight them off and then we’ll let them come inside. I’ve been working on some new inventions and modifying some of dad’s old ones. So once Spanker and his gang get in here, we’ll pulverize ’em.”
“Wow, sounds like a lot of fun,” said Si.
“We’re all doomed,” whined Meese. “And it’ll all be your fault, Si.”
“My fault! How could it be my fault?” asked Si.
“Because everything bad that happens to me is always your fault.”
Freddy’s phone rang. “Yeah?” he said.
“It’s Howie.”
“What’s the password?”
“Adam Spanker sucks his thumb.”
Freddy hit the button, and there was a scream as Howie landed in the pile of hay.
He jumped up quickly. “The Spanker gang tortured me and made me spill the beans on the Fries.”
“I know, Howie. They’re about to attack.”
“I would’ve been here earlier but they tied me to a tree. I just got loose. Come on, we better get out of here.”
“No, I’m going to stay and fight,” declared Freddy.
“But we’ve always run from Adam Spanker, ever since kindergarten.”
“I’m tired of running from him.”
“But we’ve always thought that. So what’s changed?” asked Howie.
Freddy looked at the Fries. “What’s changed is we’re not alone anymore, Howie. We have friends who’ll fight right beside us. Won’t you, guys?”
All the Fries stepped forward. “Let’s kick some Spanker butt,” yelled Wally.
“Okay, guys, listen up, here’s the plan,” Freddy said.
CHAPTER16
When Adam and his gang reached the barn, he held up his hand for them to stop. He spoke into his walkie-talkie. “Have Big Benny ready just in case.” He looked at his men. “Watch out for tricks,” he warned.
They aimed their paintball guns and looked around. Suddenly they heard a sound, and something hit Adam in the arm. He reached down and picked it up. It was a pebble. He laughed. “This is all he has? We’ll destroy ’em. Come on guys, charge!”
As they rushed forward a few more pebbles flew at them, but did no damage.
Adam laughed, “Funky, you are, like, so dead.”
They reached the door to the barn, pulled it open, and raced inside. They looked around, their paintball guns pointing in all directions.
“All right, Funky, you better come out or else,” shouted Adam.
Suddenly bright lights came on everywhere, and Freddy appeared at the top of the hayloft. “Don’t come any closer,” he said in a quivering voice.
“Or what?” sneered Adam. “You gonna hit me with another pebble? Ohhh, owww, you’re killing me. Please stop.” The gang all laughed.
They all stopped laughing when they saw Freddy jump from the hayloft, but before he hit the ground he shot upward, right to the ceiling and hovered over them. Then Howie Kapowie came zooming out and hovered over them too. They both were wearing antigravity belts that Freddy’s dad had invented that allowed them to fly.
“I’ll give you five seconds to give up or else,” said Freddy.
The gang looked up at them nervously but Adam sneered, “Or else what?”
Freddy held up his arm where the seed shooter was attached. Howie had one on too.
Adam belly-laughed. “Ooohh, you’re gonna hit me with some tomato seeds; I can hardly stand the pain. Okay, guys, let’s blow them out of the sky.”
“Time’s up,” shouted Freddy. He looked at Howie and said, “Ready, aim, fire.”
Freddy and Howie shot right at the gang. Tiny seeds shot out of the shooter, but as soon as they did, they swelled into something bigger. Far bigger.
“Owww!” yelled Adam as a pineapple hit him in the chest, knocking him on his butt.
“YOW!” cried another gang member next to him as an eggplant nailed him in the ear.
“Uggh!” said another bully as a fat pumpkin split open on his head.
The Spanker gang was being hit from all sides by a barrage of large fruit and vegetables as Howie and Freddy whizzed around the barn, shooting point blank.
“This is so much cooler than tomato seeds,” yelled Howie as he hit Adam in the butt with a twelve-pound watermelon, sending him headfirst into a pile of old cow poop.