Wally stood straight up, took an enormous swallow, and they all heard the cannonball clunk right into his belly. Everyone kept watching as Wally smiled really big.
“MMMM. Me love whatever it was I just swallowed.”
But then he gave a little shiver and his eyes crossed and he put a hand to his mouth.
“Uhh, Wally, are you okay?” asked Freddy.
“Not feeling too good, little dude.”
Then there was an enormous explosion inside Wally’s belly and it expanded six feet out in all directions.
“OOOOHHHH,” said Wally. He bent over, rubbing his huge belly. “Feeling kind of like when I ate all those pies.”
Freddy looked at Adam and his gang, who were still frozen, staring at Wally.
“Wally, you remember what made you feel better that time…?”
“Good idea, little dudee-rudee. I know just where you’re coming from.”
Wally stood straight up, opened his huge mouth so that it was at least six feet wide, and aimed right at Adam and his gang.
Freddy yelled, “Fire!”
Compared to what came out of Wally’s mouth at that instant, Big Benny seemed like a pop gun.
The entire Spanker gang screamed as one when the brown, sticky goop hit them so hard it blew them across the barn. They landed six feet off the floor and stuck against a wall, groaning and moaning. The entire barn stank!
“Boy, do I feel better,” said Wally.
Freddy and his friends cheered triumphantly. But this was cut short by a shrill sound that drowned out their celebration.
Police sirens!
CHAPTER17
“Omigosh,” cried Freddy. He peeked out the door and saw the red lights of the police car heading to the farm. “We’ve gotta get out of here.” Freddy kicked Ziggy in the butt and he sprang back together. They all ran out into the rain and sprint-ed to the woods.
They finally stopped to catch their breath. The rain was pouring harder and harder, bouncing off them like beads. Freddy said, “Curly, go up and take a look.”
Curly stretched up for a look around but quickly collapsed back down.
“Lightsinthewoodscomingthiswaybettergo,” he mumbled.
“They’re after us, keep moving,” Freddy translated.
They raced through the trees and then broke into the clear. Freddy stopped dead in his tracks. The Fries did too.
“This indeed presents a considerable conundrum,” said Theodore.
“You took the word right out of my mouth,” said Wally.
“What word?” asked Ziggy.
“Coconutdumdum,” Wally answered.
The raging river was blocking their escape.
“I’ve never seen it this bad,” said Howie. “It must be all the rain. I bet the river’s pouring over the dam.”
“Is there a way around it?” squeaked Ziggy, wiping the rain out of his big eyes.
“No,” answered Freddy.
“Well, do we have to cross it?” asked Si. “I bet there’s a swell hotel right on this side of the river if we just head that way.” He pointed to the right.
“The only thing that way,” said Freddy, “is the dam. And we can’t go to the left because Chief Spanker’s back there. We’re trapped.”
Freddy looked at Curly. “How close are they?”
Curly stretched up in the air and then came back down. “Rightbehindus,” he mumbled.
“Oh, that’s just great,” said Freddy angrily. “Now they’re gonna find us and then they’ll arrest my dad because they’ll think he lied when he said he didn’t know anything about you Fries.”
Theodore said, “Freddy, it’ll be okay. We’ll think of something; at least I think we will.”
“Yeah,” added Si, “and when we do it’ll be something terrific, you can bet on it, kid. Right, Meese?”
“They’re going to put us all in jail and throw away the key,” moaned Meese. “We’ll never breathe free air again.”
“I can’t believe I messed up so badly,” said Freddy. He started to sniffle and rub his eyes. Howie put his arm around his friend and started to sniffle too. “Well, at least it’ll be over soon,” added Freddy tearfully.
The footsteps grew closer. They could see the beams of the flashlights cutting through the trees.
And then Wally rose up and asked, “Hey, kid, you wanna get out of here?”
Freddy looked up, bewildered.
“What are you talking about, Wally? It’s hopeless,” said Theodore. “Even I can’t think of anything.”
“Well, I can.”
“We can’t eat our way out of this,” said Ziggy. “So what can you do?”
Wally looked very determined. “They don’t call me purpulis enormosis for nothing, little papoosie.”
Wally opened his mouth and took a huge breath. Rain, leaves, and parts of trees were sucked in, and then the big purple Fry started to grow and grow and grow some more. Then he lay on the ground and started widening and flattening out. Then he curled up the edges of himself.
When he was done he said, “Okay, Theodore, stand right here -” Wally pointed to a spot that was near his flattened head “- and stretch yourself as high as you can.”
Theodore did so.
“Okay, Ziggy, make yourself really wide and climb up on Theodore’s shoulders.”
“I don’t think I can, Wally.”
“Sure you can. All Fries based on nanotechnology can morph,” said Wally.
Ziggy took a deep breath, held it, and immediately started getting very flat and very wide, like a big yellow blanket.
“Okay, Curly, wrap one end of yourself around Ziggy and Theodore so they’re held together, and then hook your other end to both my arms, like this.” Wally motioned what he intended Curly to do. The green Fry quickly did so.
“Okay, Si and Meese, over here.” Wally pointed to a spot near the rear of his flattened body. “Okay, stick your legs in my belly button, but no tickling.” Si and Meese stuck their legs through the hole and they popped out the other side of the flattened Wally. Then the purple Fry tightened his belly button around their waist. “Now hold up your hands.”
Freddy and Howie were still trying to figure what Wally was up to.
“Okay, you two,” said Wally, pointing at Freddy and Howie. “Come here and take a hold of Si and Meese’s arms. Now, Si and Meese, when Freddy and Howie move your arms one way you move your legs the other way. Got it?”
“Got it!” they both said. Si and Meese looked at each other in surprise.
“Hey,” exclaimed Si, “that’s the first time we’ve ever agreed on anything.”
Meese looked almost happy but then quickly turned gloomy. “I’m sure it’ll never happen again.”
“Wally, what are you doing?” said Freddy as he looked around at all the Fries in these very weird positions.
“I bet you can guess, little dude.”
Freddy thought for a moment and then it hit him. “We’re a boat!”
“You got it,” said Wally.
Freddy said excitedly, “You’re the hull, Theodore’s the mast, Ziggy’s the sail, Curly’s the rigging, and Si and Meese are the rudder and ship wheel.”
“And you’re the captain and Howie’s your first mate.” Wally looked over his little boat and crew. “Okay, boys, here we GO!”
He lunged forward into the water. They were instantly swept downstream. Wally’s face was barely out of the water. He looked up ahead. “Hard to port,” he called out to Freddy and Howie. “That’s to the left.”
“Got it,” said Freddy, and he and Howie turned Si and Meese’s arm hard to the left. Si and Meese pushed their legs, which acted as the rudder, to the right and the boat moved to the left.
“Now to starboard,” shouted Wally over the noise of the rain and pounding water.
The boys turned the wheel to the right. Si and Meese moved their legs to the left and the boat turned to the right.