“Hey, Wally,” said Freddy, “how did you know how to make a boat and steer it?”
“There was a picture of one in the book you brought. And I… well, I accidentally ate some of the pages, so I guess it seeped into my brain.”
“Which book?” asked Theodore.
“Something called Moby Dick. About a big fish.”
“Oh my,” said Theodore. “Wally, do you know that you devoured a true masterpiece of American literature?”
“Hey, I only eat the best, blue dude.”
“Wally,” cried out Howie, “we’re heading right for the dam!”
“Well, shiver me timbers and don’t poop on me poopdeck,” yelled Wally. “Avast there ya swine, hoist the mainsail, batten down the hatches, rig the jig, mop the slop.”
“That line is assuredly not in Moby Dick,” said Theodore severely.
“Hey, the story needed some jazzing up,” replied Wally.
“Wally, the dam is really getting close,” yelled Freddy. As he looked up ahead he saw that the river had gotten so high that the water was pouring over the top of the dam.
“Uh, Freddy,” said Wally, “what exactly is a dam?”
Theodore answered instead. “A dam is typically an enormous wall built out of concrete that is used to hold back huge quantities of water for myriad purposes.”
Freddy added, “And if we go over it, we’ll be plunged hundreds of feet down into a raging abyss of water and rocks.”
“Clear something up for me, Freddio,” said Wally. “Is this plunging-into-the-abyss-thing bad?”
“YES!”
Si said, “Well, I’ve always wanted to plunge into an abyss of raging water and rock. Sounds exciting.”
Meese bopped him on the head.
“See,” added Si, “Meese thinks so too.”
“OhIthinkwe’reallabouttodie,” mumbled Curly as he looked ahead.
Wally said, “Okay, I guess we’re gonna have to go ahead and barely escape with our lives.” He took a deep breath and yelled out, “Hard to port! And I mean really hard!”
Freddy, Howie, Si, and Meese pulled with all their strength, but the current was so strong that they kept right on heading toward the dam.
“This doesn’t look good,” cried out Howie as he saw the water pouring over the dam. He pulled out all his cheese cubes and ate them. “Now at least I can die happy.”
Theodore saw the big tree sticking over the river and, using his enormous microchip brain, came up with a plan.
“Wally,” yelled Theodore, “grab that big tree now!”
Wally morphed out an arm, snagged the tree, and the purple Fry boat shot out of the water and into the air.
“Hold on, everybody,” shouted Theodore.
They flew across the surface of the water, heading right for the dam. Wally’s arm stretched and stretched. They sailed in the air over the dam, but right as Wally’s arm was about to snap off, he leaned to the left as hard as he could and they swung around and crashed onto the other side of the river. The boat came apart, and everybody just lay there.
Finally Freddy said, “Wally, you saved us. You’re a hero.”
Wally didn’t say anything. They all looked at him lying there, staring at the sky.
“Uh, Wally, are you okay?” asked Freddy.
“Got a problem, little dude,” he said.
“Are you hurt?”
“Nope. Bigger problem than that.”
“So what is it?” asked Freddy anxiously.
“I’m not hungry,” said Wally quietly, at least quietly for him – it was sort of at the level of a dinner gong. “All that work, and I’ve got no appetite.”
“Well, you did eat Moby Dick,” said Theodore, “And he was a whale.”
The laughter of Freddy, Howie, and the Fries probably could be heard for miles.
CHAPTER18
After hiding in the woods for most of the night, Freddy, Howie, and the Fries made their way back to the farm very early the next morning while it was still dark. The police were gone, and so were Adam Spanker and his gang. But the barn still stank from Big Benny.
“I better get home before my parents miss me,” said Howie. He took off.
Freddy and the Fries went back to Freddy’s lab. “Okay, we have to get ready for the Founders’ Day parade. Nothing can stop us now, guys. I need to help my dad and sister get ready.”
“Can we come to the parade?” asked Ziggy.
“No, somebody might see you. But you’ve already helped rebuild the float. That’s plenty.”
When Freddy got to the farmhouse he was just about to sneak in when someone said, “Freddy, where have you been?”
He turned around and there was his father. Behind him and wearing a robe was his sister. She cried out, “We’ve been looking all over for you. We thought something had happened to you.” Nancy hugged Freddy tightly, and he thought he even saw a small tear in her eye. Then she pushed him away and said, “The police were here, you little slug.”
“The police? What did they want?” Freddy asked innocently.
“Something about a disturbance. They didn’t find anything, but Chief Spanker looked very upset,” said his father.
“Answer Dad’s question, Freddy; where have you been?”
“I’ve been in my lab working on some special stuff for the parade today. I guess I lost track of time.”
“A likely story,” huffed his sister.
“Now, Nancy,” said her father, “I’ve done the very same thing in my lab too. Okay, Freddy, go try and get some sleep. It’s going to be a busy day today.”
“Don’t worry, Dad, we’re going to win the competition,” said Freddy.
“That’s what I’m afraid of,” replied Alfred.
“Huh?” exclaimed Freddy.
“Now that the Guacamole Brothers quit we don’t have enough help to serve a lot of people. So if we win and the Burger Castle is packed, people won’t have a good time and they probably won’t come back. I’ve tried to get other people to help, but the Spankers have hired everybody in town who’ve ever worked in a restaurant.”
His father and sister went off to bed with glum expressions while Freddy just stood there, stunned. All that work, for nothing. Even if the Burger Castle float won, the Spankers were still going to get all the customers. He looked out the window, toward where his Fries were hidden in the lab. And then it hit him. There was only one thing left to do.
Freddy waited until he could hear his sister snoring heavily. Then he crept into her room, grabbed all the costumes out of her trunk, and put them in a bag he had taken from his room. He opened the window and threw the bag out. Then he raced outside, grabbed the bag, and ran to his lab.
Later that morning the Funkhousers loaded up their station wagon and hitched the Burger Castle float behind it. They had covered up the float with a big sheet of blue tarp so it would be a surprise to the crowd.
On the way to town, Nancy kept going over and over her lines from Shakespeare.
“If chance will have me king, why, chance may crown me,” she said in a deep, dramatic voice, quoting Macbeth.
“I’d like to crown you,” said Freddy, “with a hammer.”
She glowered at him and quoted from Romeo and Juliet, “I will be cruel with the maids. I will cut off their heads.”
“Dad,” complained Freddy, “Nanny Boo-Boo said she was going to cut off my head.”
“That’s nice, son,” answered Alfred. “You two play so well together.”
When they arrived in downtown Pookesville they pulled into the area where all the other floats were and unhitched their float from the car.
“Okay, Freddy,” instructed his father. “Nancy and I will head over to the Burger Castle and get things ready. You stay here with the float. We’ll be back in plenty of time for the parade.”
After they left, Freddy quickly ducked under the skirting that ran along the bottom of the float. He opened the trapdoor that accessed the hollow insides of the Burger Castle.