Mother, I said, there are rules in the army. If I have a second child, I’ll lose my Party membership and my army commission, and I’ll be sent home to tend fields. I struggled for years to leave the village, and having a second child isn’t worth giving all that up.
Are Party membership and a commission more precious than a child? It takes people to make a world. If you have no one to carry on the line, what good does it do to become a high official, even if you’re second only to Chairman Mao?
Chairman Mao has been dead for a long time, I said.
Do you think I don’t know he’s dead? I was just making a point.
The door opened with a bang. Ma, Yanyan shouted, my papa’s home!
I watched the girl totter on tiny legs up to her mother. Renmei was wearing the grey jacket I’d worn before going into the army. She was definitely showing. A red bundle, from which bits of coloured cloth peeked out, hung from the crook of her arm. She bent down and picked our daughter up. Well, now, Xiaopao, what are you doing home? she asked with an exaggerated smile.
Can’t I return to my own home? You’ve really done it this time, I said testily.
Her face, covered with dark ‘pregnancy spots’, paled, then immediately turned bright red. What have I done? she asked, raising her voice. I’m out in the field during the day and take care of our daughter at night. I haven’t done anything I shouldn’t have.
Don’t start splitting hairs. Why did you go see Yuan Sai behind my back? Why didn’t you say anything to me?
Traitor! Turncoat! Renmei put down the child and stormed into the bedroom, nearly tripping over a stool, which she sent flying with her foot. Who betrayed me by telling you?
Our daughter was wailing outside.
Mother was sitting by the stove weeping.
Stop bawling and cursing, and go with me to the health centre to take care of this, and that’ll be the end of it.
Don’t even think it! she yelled as she flung a hand mirror to the floor. It’s my child, in my belly, and I’ll hang myself from the door of anyone who tries to harm it.
Xiaopao, why not forget about Party membership and being an officer, and come home to work the field? There’s no more people’s commune, so we can work our own land and have more food than we can possibly eat. You’ll be free. I think you should come home…
No, absolutely not!
Renmei was tossing things around in the bedroom, making a racket.
This isn’t only about me, I said. Our unit’s reputation is at stake.
Renmei came out of the room with a large bundle. I stopped her. Where do you think you’re going?
None of your business!
I tugged on her bundle to keep her from leaving. She whipped out a pair of scissors and pointed them at her abdomen. Her eyes were red. Let go of that! she demanded shrilly.
Xiaopao! Mother yelled.
I knew what Renmei was capable of.
Go, then, I said. You might be able to get through today, but not tomorrow. One way or the other, that’s coming out.
Bundle in hand, she rushed out the door. Our daughter tried to follow her, arms spread out in front, but tripped and fell. Renmei ignored her.
I ran outside and picked the child up. She fought me and cried for her mother. With a welter of thoughts running through my mind, my tears began to fall.
Cane in hand, Mother hobbled out into the yard. Let her have the child, Son, she said. If you don’t, I don’t know how we’ll get through the days…
7
That night my daughter cried for her mother and nothing I did could pacify her. Check out Grandma’s house, Mother said, so I carried the girl over to my in-laws’ house and knocked on the door. Wan Xiaopao, my father-in-law said through a crack, my daughter became a member of your family when she married you. Who are you looking for here? If something has happened to my daughter, I’ll be your worst enemy.
I went to see Chen Bi. His gate was locked and the yard was pitch-black. Next I went to see Wang Gan, and pounded so long at the door the puppy on the other side set up a frenzy of barking. A light went on, and Wang Jiao came out to stand at the gate, his club dragging on the ground. Who are you looking for? He sounded angry.
It’s me, Uncle.
I know it’s you. Who are you looking for?
Where’s Wang Gan?
Dead! He slammed the door shut.
Wang Gan wasn’t dead, I knew that, but then I recalled that on my previous visit home, Mother mumbled something about Wang Jiao kicking his son out of the house, and that he was reduced to roaming the area, occasionally seen in the village, though no one knew where he was living.
My daughter cried herself out and fell asleep in my arms. I held her as I walked the streets, unable to dispel my glum feeling. Two years earlier the village had been electrified, and a streetlight had been installed alongside a pair of loudspeakers high atop a concrete pole behind the headquarters of the village committee. Several youngsters were standing around a pool table with a blue velvet surface under the light, noisily enjoying a game. A five- or six-year-old boy was sitting on a stool nearby, playing a basic keyboard. A glance at his face told me it was Yuan Sai’s son.
Not long before, a broad gate had been built in front of Yuan Sai’s house across the street. After some hesitation, I decided to go talk to him, but the thought of him removing Renmei’s IUD made me very uncomfortable. If he’d been a real doctor, I’d have had nothing to say. But… damn!
He was surprised to see me. Sitting alone on the edge of his kang, he was drinking and snacking on small plates of peanuts and dried anchovies, plus a large plate of fried eggs. Barefoot, he jumped to the floor and told me to sit by him, and wouldn’t take no for an answer. He called to his wife for more food. Another classmate of ours, she had a face marked by light pocks, and we all called her Sesame Twist.
Not a bad living you’ve got here, I said as I sat down. Sesame Twist reached out to take my sleeping daughter and lay her down at the head of the kang. I demurred briefly before letting her take her.
His wife scrubbed the wok and lit a fire to fry a ribbonfish to go with the liquor. None for me, I said, but the oil was already crackling, filling the air with its fragrance.
Yuan Sai insisted that I take off my shoes and climb up onto the kang. I made the excuse that it would be too much trouble since I was only going to stay a minute. But he insisted, so I gave in.
What brings you here, my esteemed friend? he asked after pouring me a glass. What are you now? Battalion commander? Regiment commander?
Shit, I said. A crummy company commander. I picked up the glass and drained it. And I won’t be that for long. I’ll be back ploughing a field pretty soon.
What does that mean? He too drained his glass. You’re the classmate with the brightest future. Xiao Xiachun and Li Shou might be in college — that asshole Xiao Shangchun parades up and down the streets bragging about how his son has been given a job with the State Council — but neither one is your equal. Xiao Xiachun has broad cheeks and a narrow forehead and his ears are pointed, the spitting image of a yamen runner. Li Shou is good-looking, but good luck isn’t in the cards for him. But you, you’ve got long legs and powerful arms, and eyes like a phoenix or a dragon. If not for the mole beneath the right eye, you’d have the look of an emperor. Have that removed by laser, and though you might not make it to general or minister, you’ll go at least as high as a division commander.
That’s enough, I said. You can BS people in the marketplace if you want, but stop talking like that to me.
Those are prophetic signs, I’m telling you, knowledge that’s been passed down by our ancestors, Yuan Sai said.