From Potter`s Field

'Of course I can.'

'I'm telling you, you can't.'

'I have to, Marino,' I said stubbornly. 'This is where I live.'

He was shaking his head. 'No. It's out of the question. Or else I'm moving in.'

I was devoted to Marino but could not bear the thought of him in my house. I could see him wiping his feet on my oriental rugs and leaving rings on yew wood and mahogany. He would watch wrestling in front of the fire and drink Budweiser out of the can.

'I'm going to call Benton right now,' he went on. 'He's going to tell you the same thing.' He walked toward the phone.

'Marino,' I said. 'Leave Benton out of this.'

He walked over to the fire and sat on the sandstone hearth instead. He put his head in his hands, and when he looked up at me his face was exhausted. 'You know how I'll feel if something happens to you?'

'Not very good,' I said, ill at ease.

'It will kill me. It will, I swear.'

'You're getting maudlin.'

'I don't know what that word means. But I do know Gault's going to have to waste my ass first, you hear me?' He stared intensely at me.

I looked away. I felt the blood rise to my cheeks.

'You know, you can get whacked like anybody else. Like Eddie, like Susan, like Jane, like Jimmy Davila. Gault's fixed on you, goddam it. And he's probably the worst killer in this friggin' century.' He paused, watching me. 'Are you listening?'

I lifted my eyes to his. 'Yes,' I said. 'I'm listening. I'm hearing every word.'

'You got to leave for Lucy's sake, too. She can't come see you here ever. And if something happens to you, just what do you think is going to happen to her?'

I shut my eyes. I loved my home. I had worked so hard for it. I had labored intensely and tried to be a good businesswoman. What Wesley had predicted was happening. Protection was to be at the expense of who I was and all that I had.

'So I'm supposed to move somewhere and spend my savings?' I asked. 'I'm supposed to just give all of this up?' I swept my hand around the room. 'I'm supposed to give that monster that much power?'

'You can't drive your ride, either,' he went on, thinking aloud. 'You got to drive something he won't recognize. You can take my truck, if you want.'

'Hell no,' I said.

Marino looked hurt. 'It's a big thing for me to let someone use my truck. I never let anybody.'

'That's not it. I want my life. I want to feel Lucy is safe. I want to live in my house and drive my car.'

He got up and brought me his handkerchief.

'I'm not crying,' I said.

'You're about to.'

'No, I'm not.'

'You want a drink?' he asked.

'Scotch.'

'I think I'll have a little bourbon.'

'You can't. You're driving.'

'No, I'm not,' he said as he stepped behind the bar. 'I'm camping on your couch.'

Close to midnight, I carried in a pillow and blanket and helped him get settled. He could have slept in a guest room, but he wanted to be right where he was with the fire turned low.

I retreated upstairs and read until my eyes would no longer focus. I was grateful Marino was in my house. I did not know when I had ever been this frightened. So far Gault had always gotten his way.

So far he had not failed in a single evil task he had set out to accomplish. If he wanted me to die, I had no confidence I could evade him. If he wanted Lucy to die, I believed that would happen, too.

It was the latter I feared most. I had seen his work. I knew what he did. I could diagram every piece of bone and ragged excision of skin. I looked at the black metal nine-millimeter pistol on the table by my bed, and I wondered what I always did. Would I reach for it in time? Would I save my life or someone else? As I surveyed my bedroom and adjoining study, I knew Marino was right. I could not stay here alone, I drifted to sleep pondering this and had a disturbing dream. A figure with a long dark robe and a face like a white balloon was smiling insipidly at me from an antique mirror. Every time I passed the mirror the figure in it was watching with its chilly smile. It was both dead and alive and seemed to have no gender. I suddenly woke up at one a.m. I listened for noises in the dark. I went downstairs and heard Marino snoring.

Quietly, I called his name.

The rhythm of his snoring did not alter.

'Marino?' I whispered as I drew closer.

He sat up, loudly fumbling for his gun.

'For God's sake don't shoot me.'

'Huh?' He looked around, his face pale in the low firelight. He realized where he was and put the gun back on the table. 'Don't sneak up on me like that.'

'I wasn't sneaking.'

I sat next to him on the couch. It occurred to me that I had a nightgown on and he had never seen me like this, but I did not care.

'Is something wrong?' he asked.

I laughed ruefully. 'I don't think there's much that isn't.'

His eyes began to wander, and I could feel the battle inside him. I had always known Marino had an interest in me that I could not gratify. Tonight the situation was more difficult, for I could not hide behind walls of lab coats, scrubs, business suits and titles. I was in a low-cut gown made of soft flannel the color of sand. It was after midnight and he was sleeping in my house.

'I can't sleep,' I went on.

'I was sleeping just fine.' He lay back down and put his hands behind his head, watching me.

'I start jury duty next week.'

He made no comment.

'I have several court cases coming up and an office to run. I can't just pack up and leave town,'

'Jury duty's no problem,' he said. 'We'll get you out of it.'

'I don't want to do that.'

'You're going to get struck anyway,' he said. 'No defense attorney alive is going to want you on his jury.'

I was silent.

'You may as well go on leave. The court cases can be continued. Hey, maybe head off skiing for a couple weeks. Out west someplace.'

The more he talked the more upset I got.

'You'll have to use an alias,' he went on. 'And you got to have security. You can't be off at some ski resort all by yourself.'

'Well,' I snapped, 'no one is going to assign an FBI or Secret Service agent to me, if that's what you're thinking. Rights are honored only in the breach. Most people don't get agents or cops assigned to them until they're already raped or dead.'

'You can hire someone. He can drive, too, but you shouldn't be in your own ride.'

'I am not hiring anybody and I insist on driving my own car.'

He thought for a minute, staring up at the vaulted ceiling. 'How long have you had it?'

'Not even two months.'

'You got it from McGeorge, right?' He referred to the Mercedes dealership in town.

'Yes.'

'I'll talk to them and see if they'll let you borrow something less conspicuous than that big black Nazimobile of yours,'

Furious, I got up from the couch and moved closer to the fire.

'And just what else should I give up?' I said bitterly as I stared at flames wrapping around artificial logs.

Marino did not answer.

'I won't let him turn me into Jane.' I launched into a diatribe. 'It's as if he's prepping me so he can do the same thing to me he did to her. He's trying to take away everything I have.

'Even my name. I'm supposed to have an alias. I'm supposed to be less conspicuous. Or generic. I'm not to live anywhere or drive anything and can't tell people where to find me. Hotels, private security are very expensive.

'So, eventually, I will go through my savings. I'm the chief medical examiner of Virginia and hardly in the office anymore. The governor may fire me. Little by little I will lose all that I have and all that I've been. Because of him.'

Still, Marino did not answer, and I realized he was asleep. A tear slid down my cheek as I pulled the covers to his chin and went back upstairs.

12

I parked behind my building at a quarter after seven and for a while sat in my car, staring at cracked blacktop, dingy stucco and the sagging chain-link fence around the parking lot.