She let the thought stop dead right there.
The Bunny Hill, Jaxxon soon discovered, was a small slope that had a chairlift to take them to the top. As they waited in the loading area, she saw that Anna was nervous. “What’s up?”
“I don’t like these things. There was a rope tow when I last used a Bunny Hill. Then the first time I went to a beginner’s hill and used a chairlift I couldn’t pluck up the courage to push myself off.” And then she had been embarrassed as shit when someone from Ski Patrol stopped the lift and helped her down.
“That’s because you didn’t have me to bitch-slap you into moving your arse.”
Anna laughed. “It might actually come to that.” Even with Todd’s encouragement, Anna found herself fidgeting apprehensively. Side by side, she and Jaxxon waited for a chairlift to come around and then, holding both poles in one hand, smoothly sat on it, allowing it to take them up. Like Jaxxon, she kept the tips of her skis pointing upwards as they moved up. “Bugger, bugger, bugger,” she chanted nervously.
“Anna, do you really want to go home and tell Warren you got stuck on a moving couch?”
That was all the motivation Anna needed to straighten her shoulders. As she had told Jaxxon, it kind of intimidated her to know that Warren was an Olympic medal winner. She had never been into sports, and even though she was a celebrity the same as him she wasn’t doing a job that meant she represented her country or that people looked up to her. Mostly people just drooled over her. She didn’t want Warren to think that that was all there was to her; that they couldn’t enjoy the same things. And after him telling her that he loved skiing and would love to take her himself some time, she was determined to get some good practice in so that she didn’t make a fool of herself. Anna told Warren about the holiday but swore him to secrecy; he was not allowed to tell Connor a single detail. He swore he wouldn’t. In fact, it didn’t take much convincing. He seemed to like the idea of Connor being subjected to a little torture. Those boys loved winding each other up. Only one thing concerned her: Warren was a very crap liar.
“Remember,” said Jaxxon as they neared the unloading station, “point your skis forward and push away as the chair goes around.” After wincing at the sight of the creepy sod on the chair in front making a daring jump off the chairlift and ending up colliding with another skier, the pair glided off the lift and to the side, clear of the upcoming chairlifts.
Anna made a rejoicing sound. Funny how being set on impressing your boyfriend could make you face your fear. At last they came to the slope, and just in time to watch the creepy bloke do an elaborate toss over and become closely acquainted with a tree. She flinched at the spectacle. “Do you think that was an attempt at suicide?”
Jaxxon shrugged. “If it was, it was ill thought out. Someone should have told him a run-up is always advised. On a lighter note, it’s our turn.”
“Right, you go first.”
Remembering all that the instructor had told her, Jaxxon ensured her hands were through the straps on the poles which she held at her sides, she bent her knees and leant forward slightly, careful not to lean too far forward or else her skis may get all squirrelly. Then she assumed the ‘pizza’ position; her skis pointed together and heels pushed out, making a wedge with an open point.
She drunk in the view; admiring the enormous mountains and hills and trees and the way it looked as though a soft white marsh-mellow blanket covered everything. After taking a moment to appreciate the weird, nerve-wracking yet exciting feeling of being poised on the edge, she slowly began sliding down the slope. To pick up a little speed, she narrowed her pizza position, loving the liberating feeling that came with the descent. Knowing that she could so easily fall was unsettling but at the same time made the whole thing exhilarating. All of a sudden she felt invigorated.
As Jaxxon reached the bottom of the slope she widened the angle of her position which finally brought her to a smooth halt. But she didn’t express her delight with herself until Anna reached her side, also having executed a smooth slide down. They giggled like a pair of kids in a playground; overwhelmed by exhilaration and relief and a delicious adrenalin rush.
“Well done,” praised the creepy bloke appeared out of absolutely nowhere. “You’re both naturals at it. Looked like goddesses the way you did that so gracefully.”
And then he made the biggest mistake of his life: he attempted to touch Jaxxon. Having reached her limit with the randy bastard, Jaxxon leant toward him slightly. “Do you see this pole? If you don’t stay out of my face, I’m going to rip you another arse hole with it. Understand?” He gulped and nodded before awkwardly skiing away.
Anna sighed in relief. “Thank the Lord for that.”
After a few repeats at a smooth glide down the Bunny Hill, Jaxxon and Anna tried doing turns during their descent. When Todd eventually decided that they were ready to try a beginner’s hill, they went for a little something to eat and drink to boost their energy levels before then hitting the other slopes.
By the time they were ready to head back to their challet, Jaxxon found that although she was physically exhausted, having used muscles that she hadn’t known she had, her mind was energised. The whole experience was so strange…like being in some kind of suspended reality. With all the breathtaking views and the snowy mountains and the cold air and the wintery trees and the luxurious challet there was nothing to remind her of home. She found that she could literally forget everything; her stresses, her problems, even the rest of the world. With each day that passed all those pressures eased more and more.
Connor grunted and slapped down the set of cards. When did he get so bad at poker? Probably about the same time as he started abusing the test track and overdoing it at the gym and walking around with a permanent hard-on. All of which was brought on by the reappearance of –
No, no, no – he wasn’t going to think about Jaxx.
But, then, he didn’t really have to think about her for him to undergo any torture. It was now four days since he had last seen her. It was five days since he had last been inside her. He had planned to give it at least seven days before seeing her again purely to prove to himself that he didn’t need her so badly, but he wasn’t sure he was going to last much longer. The fact that he was spooked by how he was absolutely addicted to her wasn’t so important now that the raging need was taking over again. His dick was hard and hurting like a twat. Worse, he didn’t feel whole. In short, his mind, body and soul were pining for her. He knew it. He ignored it. Or at least he tried to. And the harder he tried at it, the rottener things got.
Once he’d calmed down after their argument he’d started to feel like a right bastard. In truth, he had been angrier with himself than her; maybe it could be said that he had created this situation. If he had gone back to see her at least once, he would have seen that she was alone and hurting over Leah and he could’ve done…well he didn’t know what exactly, but he could have done something. Then maybe she wouldn’t be closed off from him the way she was now. At last he knew why she wanted things to be nothing more than casual.
Despite how painfully horny he was, not once had Connor even been tempted to relieve the ache using anyone else. Obviously he would never have given into any such temptation if there had been one. The point was that there had been no temptation. There was one thing he had come to understand in the past few days without her: It wasn’t lust that had consumed his blood, it was Jaxx. That was why he couldn’t escape from the need to see her or be with her or be inside her.
In sum, she had bloody ruined him. He belonged to her as much as she belonged to him and it terrified him. When she eventually walked out of his life – even the thought of that had his gut twisting – he wouldn’t be whole ever again. And yet he knew he couldn’t keep her. She would never settle for someone who couldn’t fully commit to her, and even if she was prepared to try it he would never let her. She deserved better than that. She deserved to start the family she had grown up without. For the first time ever, he wished he had something more to offer someone. All he could really do was make the most of the time he had with her. With that in mind, he had to question why on Earth he was sat playing – well, losing at –poker and not spending time with Jaxx.