Reaching for the door, Marlene sighed.
“It’s a disgrace! My own daughter sneaking into the streets like an urchin. Under Hitler there was always discipline and order! Everything was so much better!” Her father shouted from the back of the room.
A shudder racked her shoulders. She didn’t want to think about his words. Things were the way they were. Nothing she could change about the situation. Her energy was best spent coping with the circumstances instead of whining about them. Or trying to analyze…
“Yes, Father,” she said and slipped out of the basement, emerging into a sunny but chilly May morning. The sun blinded her, and she blinked a few times. Berlin had been so beautiful before the war. She’d been fourteen when Hitler invaded Poland, but like all girls her age she was much more interested in play, boys, and clothes than in politics.
At first it had been nothing more than a distant excitement filled with celebrations for every newly occupied territory, but then the war drew closer. One by one her brothers, cousins, friends and neighborhood boys were drafted and sent away. Many returned in coffins, or not at all.
She shook her head, forcing the grief away. Nothing she could change about the past. Right now, her priority was to find food for her family, or they’d soon join the casualties of this war. Squaring her shoulders, she crossed the street and quickly faded into the shadows of the bombed-out buildings, always keeping away from the main streets.
It was best not to be seen by the Russians. The indiscriminate looting, murdering and raping were constant threats to anyone and especially for a woman. After a seemingly endless walk she reached the bakery, bathed in cold sweat.
“ Guten Morgen,” she wished the baker’s wife a good morning. “What do you have today?”
“No flour. No bread.” The big woman scoffed. “ Ivans came and took everything. Without paying, of course.”
“I’m sorry, they’re so awful,” Marlene empathized with her.
The baker’s wife squinted her eyes and looked unabashedly at Marlene’s overcoat. “A nice coat you have. My mother is always freezing.”
Marlene hated the ways things had become, but ration cards had lost their value long ago and it was only thanks to bartering that they’d been able to subsist for the past weeks. “And my mother is always hungry.”
The woman nodded her understanding. “The Ivans might have overlooked a loaf. It’s a bit hard, but still good.”
“I’ll take it.” Marlene took off her coat and handed it to the baker’s wife in exchange for a loaf of bread that was hard as stone. They’d have to soak it in soup to eat it, but it was precious food.
She put the bread into her bag and left the bakery, when her glance fell on a platinum-blonde woman walking down the street as if she owned it. Marlene sucked in a breath, aghast how anyone could be so brazen. She fully expected a Russian to jump at the woman and shout the most feared words in Berlin at her.
Komm Frau! Come with me, woman! Just the thought sent violent shudders down her spine. The next moment the woman looked in Marlene’s direction and Marlene stopped breathing altogether.
“Bruni? Is this really you?” she uttered, stunned.
“Marlene, what a surprise to see you here. How have you been?” Brunhilde von Sinnen, known as Bruni to her friends, looked incredibly radiant. She didn’t feature the cast-down, fearful appearance of most anyone else in this heap of rubble, formerly known as Berlin. She took a few steps toward Marlene and hugged her tight. “Isn’t it wonderful that I’ve found you? How are you doing?”
“Coping,” Marlene said. But the next moment the happiness to see her friend again was replaced by unadulterated panic. A scowling Russian soldier walked toward them. “Bruni… we… an Ivan,” Marlene’s voice faltered.
But her friend barely moved her head and shrugged. “Oh, that’s Gregori. He’s my guard.”
“Your guard?” Marlene’s brain filled with impenetrable cotton wool and she didn’t comprehend.
“Yes, silly.” Bruni took Marlene by the elbow and said, “Let’s go for a walk.”
“A walk? Are you crazy?” Marlene still eyed the soldier called Gregori with suspicion, but he made no attempt to come closer than a few steps away.
“Not at all, I’m dying to catch up on news.”
Marlene sighed and followed Bruni. Maybe there was strength in numbers and two women wouldn’t be as much at risk as one.
“Isn’t it a dream? The war’s finally over and we’re still alive,” Bruni said with her incredibly beautiful voice.
“More like a nightmare,” Marlene protested and told her about the godawful living conditions in the basement, how she had to take care of her parents, her constant fears and struggles.
Bruni came to a halt and looked at her. “When will you ever learn to look out for yourself instead of others, my dear? Look at you! Dressed in drab clothes, your beautiful hair hidden beneath that piece of filth… no wonder, you’re suffering. You need to adapt to the situation and find yourself a protector.”
“A protector? Like your Gregori?”
Bruni giggled. “Of course not. Gregori is dispensable. He’s a mere foot soldier, the kind women here are afraid of.”
“Why not you?”
“Are you really that thick, sweetie? Once it was clear who the new bosses were, I put on make-up and my best dress and introduced myself to Captain Feodor Orlovski, commander of the technical corps in Berlin. There’s only one man in Berlin more powerful than him, and that’s General Sokolov himself.”
“You threw yourself at a Russian?” Marlene spit out the words. How could Bruni sink so low?
“It doesn’t matter with whom we associate, what matters are the reasons why we do it. These aren’t normal circumstances. And I very much prefer to share the bed willingly with one man than unwillingly with many. To make sure nothing will happen to me Feodor has ordered his men to follow me at all times.
“Oh Bruni. I’m so sorry… this is so awful.” Marlene loved her friend dearly, despite her many faults.
“It’s really not awful… Feodor is quite an accomplished lover.” Bruni made a dreamy face. “He has the stamina of a trained soldier and the expertise of—”
“Stop. Please, no details.” The rising embarrassment burned Marlene’s face. She wasn’t like Bruni, had only once given herself to her boyfriend on the day before he’d been sent to the front.
Bruni giggled. “In case you ever need womanly advice, I’d be more than happy to elaborate.”
Her face burning, Marlene continued to walk down the street, almost forgetting the realities of Berlin while mulling over Bruni’s trade with the devil. Was selling one’s body to one man permissible if it prevented many others from stealing it?
They turned the corner into Marlene’s street and Bruni gasped at the sight of the destroyed buildings. “How on earth can you live like this?”
“It’s not that we have much choice,” Marlene said. The next moment her stomach tied into a knot at the sight of two drunk Russian soldiers on the prowl. In her joy to see Bruni again, she’d neglected to scan the street and hide in time. Of course, they’d spotted the two young women and broad grins appeared on their dirty faces.
“Oh my God,” Marlene whispered, bracing herself for the worst.
But it took only a few seconds until Gregori, who still followed them at a few steps distance, approached the two men and barked something in Russian at them. They looked dumbfounded and then turned on their heels.
“See how having a protector is beneficial?” Bruni said. “If you change your mind, I can certainly introduce you to a powerful and decent officer.”