I thought I had pissed on her and was totally embarrassed and went to bed. However, a few minutes after I had turned out the lights she came in and apologized for getting angry and asked if we could play again next time. Again, I didn’t really understand why she felt she had to ask, as I assumed she could do what she liked with my cock, whenever she liked. However, I was very pleased that the games would continue.
Continue they did a few more times over the following six months, until my parents felt I was old enough to look after my brothers by myself.
During these remaining months I willingly experienced these innocent and exquisite pubescent emissions every time she played with me. Each time we both reacted with childish elation, for two very different reasons, but with a common enjoyment of the experience. It was these familiarities with Debra that readied me to female fascination for cock and its natural sexual reactions. She had also introduced me to self-pleasuring and I joyfully continued this fun for the rest of my life.
From all these early experiences with females either of my age, teenage and adult, I had developed a casual attitude of compliance for any request a female might make of my body. I never told my parents about any of these encounters, as they all seemed totally normal in my naïve, embryonic world.
I had learnt in these developing years of my life that a cock can be both amusing and arousing and societal values accepted that cock should unashamedly be available to her whenever a female expressed an interest. These early attitudes would become ingrained within my psyche and would propagate many of my unique sexual experiences with women in the years to follow.
As a male or female, we can only ever view the world from our own perspective. As a male, I often wondered why male nudity was always so freely accessible. Every statue or painting of a nude male always had its genitalia intact. Yet the female equivalents were always neutered. As a naturally curious child I would examine female art forms for its genitalia – yet they were always neutered. Even to this day all female nude art forms are neutered – as a society we don’t seemed to have matured that much!
My normal curiosity was inflamed and perverted by this lack of knowledge and it affected my whole life.
It seems a pity that we don’t educate our males to grow with the same healthy attitude to the genitalia of the opposite sex, as females are privileged to enjoy. I’m convinced that this natural curiosity should be satisfied as it arises in a natural and unequivocal manner.
It is obvious that in the eons before reliable birth control, females did need to be protected from satisfying their normal sexual desires and unwittingly arousing a male. In those times, the only reliable way of doing this was to teach girls to be ultra-sensitive about exposing themselves. It’s easy for a female to hide her genitalia and this became a ‘mantra’ for all women.
Sadly, the down side for this ‘mantra’ was that female genitalia became an unnatural mystery and gave rise to pornography, and antisocial attitudes to sex.
Women also realised that this gave them a ‘power’ over men. They possessed the source of the mystery that men naturally desired to understand. This power, however, perverted the natural interaction between males and females.
As a lifetime nudist, from the age of 17, I have seen how ‘normal’ it can be for men and women to relate and respect each other when this ‘mystery’ is removed. Sadly, many societal and religious influences stop this from becoming a normal way of life.
I found nudism due to an overwhelming curiosity about the opposite sex. Thankfully, I was born with a good brain and ‘grounded’ common sense and realised, even as a youth, that I needed to satisfy this curiosity for my own emotional wellbeing.
I was amazed how quickly my ‘curiosity’ at the time was satisfied, considering how frustratingly ignorant I was. Within 30 minutes of the ‘unveiling’ of the female form at the nudist club, I was surprised at how unexciting a vagina was. To this day, 50 years later, a vagina remains interesting and attractive to me but the sight of one has never been arousing or sexually stimulating. It all depends what else the ‘owner’ of the vagina has that is appealing to get me sexually aroused. It will quite often be her eyes, her face, her shape, even her mannerism that will ‘turn me on’…. but definitely not just her vagina.
So, I ask the question…” Why the Hell do we still cling to these outdated attitudes to female nudity?”
Women don’t go into uncontrolled raptures at the sight of much more ‘intriguing’ male genitalia, so why should we believe men are not as equally immune to such actions?
One truism I have learnt in my lifetime, is that women are much more highly sexual beings than men. Given the opportunity, women are insatiable when it comes to sex – a God given attribute that often intimidates men. It is another reason women have had this glorious attribute controlled by the physically stronger sex.
Cave men subdued their women with a club. Sophistication demanded that we use other tactics as we evolved. The most effective tactic and one that remains to this day, is that society controls female sexuality. Women are taught from birth to be demure and retiring when it comes to ‘the chase’. ‘The man is expected to make the first move’. ‘It is unladylike for a woman to do so’.
These mores and attitudes were slowly fading in the face of the post-feminist movement, but they had a long way to go!
As a male escort and nude entertainer for over 30 years in my 40’s, 50’s and 60’s I had been ‘at the coal-face’ of female sexuality. I was privy to a side of female sexuality rarely seen by men.
CHAPTER 3
The Early Days
I’ve always had a committed spirituality. The modern scientific conception of Creation, in my mind, can only lead to the one conclusion of a Supreme Creator. Call Him/Her, God, Yahweh, Krishna, etc., depending on your religious roots, it seems impossible that this marvelous thing we call the Universe cannot have been created by an initial Big Bang and random collision of atoms from a Singularity. There is an innate belief that all life forms have a common bond and in particular human life has a special bond. I believe that all human life is of the one spiritual being and this is what I call ‘God’. Anything good or bad we do to another affects us personally – some call this Karma!
The philosophy of neuomenon and phenomenon – relating to everything – neuomenon, as opposed to that which is perceivable by human beings – phenomenon, beautifully captures the concept of something more to existence, than can be understood by humans with just five senses.
As life progressed through adolescence into adulthood, my experiences with women were few. My first sexual experience occurred with a girl I met while working at a major retail store, Waltons, during my university long vacation – the three months lull over the Xmas/New Year period. She was a ‘junior’ assistant with Waltons and in my clumsy way I eventually managed to ask her out to the drive-in movies. I had borrowed my dad’s station sedan. Fortunately, the car had front bench seats and we could sit next to each other.
I was raised to respect women and “treat them like you’d expect someone to treat your mother,” as my father told me during my one and only ‘sex talk’. Well, that advice wasn’t much help sitting with a girl in the front seat of a car at the drive-in movies. I did manage to put my arm around her and she had her hand on my leg. I realised later that she was as ‘nervous’ as me and we didn’t progress much past that.
On our third date, we stopped somewhere and ‘parked’. It was here that I mustered the courage to touch my first vagina. At first I thought she must have pee’d in her pants as she was very wet. That shocked me and I didn’t progress past that stage and felt awkward and embarrassed for her and we never dated again.