“Veronica!” she cried out. “Don’t you dare tell me I don’t love Veronica. That’s not true! I did what I did to be here for Veronica. You think you’re clever, don’t you? But you’re wrong about Karl. He would never behave like that. Never!”
“You may deny it and you may kill me, as I think you did your daughter, but there are still two more people who know what happened that day by this lake: Ali himself, and Ellen’s pen pal, Nadia. The police will know you murdered to hide your family secret. Count on it.”
The gun moved in Olga’s shaking hands. “I believed my husband when he told me the tongue-tied boy had exposed himself to Ellen. I still believe it! When I arrived at Ellen’s house and saw through the window a man clapping a hand over my daughter’s mouth, I knew it was that boy grown up. He was saying the same strange words, like a tuneless hum. It had to be the same person! I went out to the garden shed, where I’d hidden the skeet shooter I’d bought for Veronica for Christmas, and I loaded it. When I came back to the house the man had my daughter pinned to his side, with his bloody hand over her mouth. I wanted to stop him but I’m no killer. I aimed for his legs and pulled the trigger. I closed my eyes on what I’d done.” Olga shuddered and hugged the rifle to herself, barrel pointed upward. “But when I opened them, there was Ellen, on the floor. She was dead.”
Heedless of the rifle butt, which was now pressed against the underside of her chin, Olga sobbed. Liz stepped forward, reached for the weapon, and very slowly put her hand around the barrel. Relinquishing the gun, Olga sat down hard on the cold slate floor. She picked up some thorns and rolled them in her palms, bloodying her hands as she spoke.
“I must have killed her. It was inexplicable but I must have! The man kept up that awful humming. I had no idea what to do. I wanted to shoot the man, just to stop him humming. I wanted to run and run and run.
“Then the cookie ingredients caught my eye and I thought of Veronica. I couldn’t let her come home to this kitchen. I just couldn’t. I still had the gun. I could make the man clean the place up. First, we had to—to do something about Ellen. I looked around and saw the tree bag, the kind you use to wrap up a Christmas tree before you put it out for the trash. I made him put Ellen inside it. And I made him put the bag outside the back door. It was cold out there; it was beginning to snow. But how else could we clean up for Veronica? We came back inside the house then. I directed him to put on the rubber gloves that Ellen always keeps around. I told him to fill the dishpan on the side of the sink with water and some floor cleaner. I made him put the bottle of floor cleaner back under the sink. I made him use a sponge to wipe the floor and the wall behind where Ellen had—had been. While he was mopping, he knocked over one of the poinsettias. After it looked like he had done a pretty good job cleaning up, I made him carry the poinsettia into the living room. I wanted to keep his hands busy. I had to keep that man with me everywhere so I could point the gun at him.
“That’s when I saw Ellen’s purse in the man’s open backpack. There was no time to wonder what it was doing there. I pulled the purse out of the backpack and took Ellen’s keys out of it. Something fell out of her purse and when I bent down to pick it up, the Arab set down the poinsettia suddenly and flew across the room at me. He was reaching for the gun when the doorbell rang. Instead of grabbing the gun, he fled the room! You would have thought the man would have welcomed what we glimpsed through the window. It was two foreign-looking men, maybe Middle Eastern.
“I was afraid he would lunge at me again; I had to keep him under control. I followed him into the kitchen and kept the gun pointed at him. I wanted to stay in the kitchen and clean the counter where the cookie ingredients were, but he’s rattled me so! I was shaken. I put on my coat and grabbed Ellen’s jacket, too. I don’t know why I took the jacket. It just seemed like a good idea. Later I found Ellen’s purse and mine, and the Arab’s backpack, in the car, but I hardly remember putting them there.
“After we heard the two men drive away in their car, I made the man put the Christmas tree bag into the trunk of Ellen’s car. My head was spinning and I couldn’t think straight. I wanted it to be my car but it was too far away. Because of the snowstorm, I had parked it in the City Hall parking lot, which is always kept plowed. We got into Ellen’s Honda. I made him drive. I sat in the back seat so I could keep the gun pointed at him. It was not easy to do in the car.
“At first, I didn’t care where we drove, as long as it was away from Ellen’s house. Then I thought of Plymouth. I had picnicked there when I was a girl. I knew there were some isolated woods there.
“The drive was a blur. I was so shattered and it was snowing so hard. By the time we got to some deserted recreational area, the snow was quite deep, but not deep enough to make it easy to slide the—the Christmas tree bag into the woods. There was a lot of underbrush, and stumps, and even holes in the ground that you couldn’t see in the snow. I hung back, gesturing with the gun at him every time he seemed likely to turn on me, and made him put her in a hollow. Then I told him to cover her up with snow. I didn’t want to kill him but I was sure I must. All I could think was Veronica would not have a woman in her life—not a mother, not a grandmother—if I were turned in for what I’d done.
“When he bent over to cover Ellen with snow, I shot him. He fell down on top of the plastic bag. On top of my daughter.
“Up until then, I was a person in a daze. But that seemed to wake me up. Suddenly I realized I needn’t have done this thing. Surely, I could have explained to the police that I’d tried to protect my daughter from an attacker. After all, shooting my daughter was an accident. But then I thought, how could Veronica love the person who had killed her mother, even if I shot her unintentionally?
“There was something else. I did not feel innocent. I felt guilty about him. I told you before, I’m no killer, so I aimed at his legs, but I didn’t want to aim at his legs. I wanted to kill him point blank for exposing himself to Ellen and for all those phone calls and for putting his bloody hand over her mouth in her kitchen. I wanted him to die. And I wanted to be the one to kill him.”
Olga looked up at Liz with an expression of relief on her haggard face.
“So when those two men arrived at Ellen’s house and startled us, I felt like a guilty woman who has no choice but to flee. And I fled.
“There in the woods, in the snow, I had to move that man off my daughter. I went down into the hollow and pushed him off her. It was not so hard to slide him across the plastic. But as I pushed him, my hand encountered his belt. I realized someone might figure out who he was from his clothes, and then they would connect the boy from the Wharton School with our family. So I removed his boots, and an awful gaudy ring he was wearing, and his belt. I took his wallet, too. It fell open as I held it, and I saw a taxi driver’s I.D. card in the wallet’s plastic window. The picture matched the man’s face, but the name was not Al Leigh. It was something foreign. Seeing this, I felt I couldn’t breathe. But I could see my breath in the air, big clouds of it. I must have been gasping.
“I opened the bag and took off Ellen’s wedding ring, and her earrings, and her shoes. It was much harder to take off her sweater, but I did that, too. I think it tore as I took it off of her. I was glad she was lying on her face. I covered her up with snow then and walked back up the hill. I put the sweater, the shoes and boots, and the gun and things in the trunk, but I kept Ellen’s jewelry in my coat pocket.