I swallowed, feeling stupid. "I'm sorry, Mase. I just can't."
He sat up and ran a hand over his hair. "Okay. All right."
I could hear the hardness in his voice. "You're mad."
He glanced over at me, a stormy expression on his face. "I'm just confused. I can't read your signals. One moment you're hot, the next you're cold. You tell me you want me, you tell me you don't. If you picked one, that'd be fine, but you keep making me think one thing and then you end up going in a completely different direction. Not just now-all the time."
It was true. I had gone back and forth with him. Sometimes I was flirty, other times I completely ignored him.
"Is there something you want me to do?" he asked when I didn't say anything. "Something that'll… I don't know. Make you feel better about me?"
"I don't know," I said weakly.
He sighed. "Then what do you want in general?"
Dimitri, I thought. Instead, I repeated myself. "I don't know."
With a groan, he stood up and headed for the door. "Rose, for someone who claims she wants to gather as much information as possible, you really have a lot to learn about yourself."
The door slammed behind him. The noise made me flinch, and as I stared at where Mason had just stood, I realized he was right. I did have a lot to learn.
CHAPTER 16
Lissa found me later in the day. I'd fallen asleep after Mason left, too dejected to leave the bed. Her slamming of the door jolted me awake.
I was happy to see her. I needed to spill about the fumbled thing with Mason, but before I could, I read her feelings. They were as troubled as mine. So, as always, I put her first.
"What happened?"
She sat on her bed, sinking into the feather duvet, her feelings both furious and sad. "Christian."
"Really?" I'd never known them to fight. They teased each other a lot, but it was hardly the kind of thing that could nearly bring her to tears.
"He found out… I was with Adrian this morning."
"Oh, wow," I said. "Yeah. That might be a problem." Standing up, I walked over to the dresser and found my brush. Wincing, I stood in front of the gilt-framed mirror and began brushing out the snarls acquired during my nap.
She groaned. "But nothing happened! Christian's freaking out over nothing. I can't believe he doesn't trust me."
"He trusts you. The whole thing's just weird, that's all." I thought about Dimitri and Tasha. "Jealousy makes people do and say stupid things."
"But nothing happened," she repeated. "I mean, you were there and-hey, I never found out. What were you doing there?"
"Adrian sent me a bunch of perfume."
"He-you mean that giant box you were carrying?"
I nodded.
"Whoa."
"Yeah. I came to return it," I said. "The question is, what were you doing there?"
"Just talking," she said. She started to light up, on the verge of telling me something, but then she paused. I felt the thought almost reach the front of her mind and then get shoved back. "I've got a lot to tell you, but first tell me what's up with you."
"Nothing's up with me."
"Whatever, Rose. I'm not psychic like you, but I know when you're pissed off about something. You've been kind of down since Christmas. What's up?"
Now wasn't the time to get into what had happened on Christmas when my mom told me about Tasha and Dimitri. But I did tell Lissa the story about Mason-editing out why I had stopped-and simply driving home how I had.
"Well…" she said when I finished. "That was your right."
"I know. But I kind of led him on. I can see why he'd be upset."
"You guys can probably fix it, though. Go talk to him. He's crazy about you."
It was more than miscommunication. Things with Mason and me couldn't be patched up so easily. "I don't know," I told her. "Not everyone's like you and Christian."
Her face darkened. "Christian. I still can't believe he's being so stupid about this."
I didn't mean to, but I laughed. "Liss, you guys'll kiss and make up in like a day. More than kiss, probably."
It slipped out before I could stop it. Her eyes widened. "You know." She shook her head in exasperation. "Of course you know."
"Sorry," I said. I hadn't meant to let her know I knew about the sex thing, not until she told me herself.
She eyed me. "How much do you know?"
"Um, not much," I lied. I'd finished brushing my hair but began playing with the brush's handle in order to avoid her eyes.
"I have got to learn to keep you out of my mind," she muttered.
"Only way I can 'talk' to you lately." Another slipup.
"What's that supposed to mean?" she demanded.
"Nothing … I…" She was giving me a sharp look. "I… I don't know. I just feel like we don't talk as much anymore."
"Takes two to fix that," she said, voice kind again.
"You're right," I said, not pointing out that two could fix that only if one wasn't always with her boyfriend. True, I was guilty in my own way of locking things up-but I had wanted to talk to her a number of times lately. The timing just never seemed to be right-not even now. "You know, I never thought you'd be first. Or I guess I never thought I'd be a senior and still be a virgin."
"Yeah," she said dryly. "Me either."
"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?"
She grinned, then caught sight of her watch. Her smile fell. "Ugh. I've got to go to Priscilla's banquet. Christian was supposed to go with me, but he's off being an idiot…." Her eyes focused hopefully on me.
"What? No. Please, Liss. You know how I hate those formal royal things."
"Oh, come on," she begged. "Christian flaked out. You can't throw me to the wolves. And didn't you just say we needed to talk more?" I groaned. "Besides, when you're my guardian, you'll have to do these things all the time."
"I know," I said darkly. "I thought I could maybe enjoy my last six months of freedom."
But in the end, she conned me into going with her, as we'd both known she would.
We didn't have much time, and I had to do a rush shower, blow-dry, and makeup job. I'd brought Tasha's dress on a whim, and while I still wanted her to suffer horribly for being attracted to Dimitri, I was grateful for her present now. I pulled on the silken material, happy to see the shade of red was just as killer on me as I'd imagined. It was a long, Asian-style dress with flowers embroidered into the silk. The high neck and long hem covered a lot of skin, but the material clung to me and looked sexy in a different kind of way than showing a lot of skin did. My black eye was practically nonexistent by now.
Lissa, as always, looked amazing. She wore a deep purple dress by Johnna Raski, a well-known Moroi designer. It was sleeveless and made of satin. The tiny amethyst-like crystals set into the straps sparkled against her pale skin. She wore her hair up in a loose, artfully styled bun.
When we reached the banquet room, we drew a few eyes. I don't think the royals had expected the Dragomir princess to bring her dhampir friend to this highly anticipated, invitation-only dinner. But hey, Lissa's invite had said "and guest." She and I took our places at one of the tables with some royals whose names I promptly forgot. They were happy to ignore me, and I was happy to be ignored.
Besides, it wasn't like there weren't plenty of other distractions. This room was done all in silver and blue. Midnight blue silk cloths covered the tables, so shiny and smooth that I was terrified to eat on them. Sconces of beeswax candles hung all over the walls, and a fireplace decorated with stained glass crackled away in one corner. The effect was a spectacular panorama of color and light, dizzying to the eye. In the corner, a slim Moroi woman played soft cello music, her face dreamy as she focused on the song. The clinking of crystal wineglasses complemented the strings' low, sweet notes.