It's at some point that night the set dressers get word about the missing meat. The extra-thick steaks and chops, coated with makeup, fingerprints, and floor dirt, was ground into hamburger. By mistake, the day shift sold it all to customers.
Chow: Eating Out
Now that you've read the preceding story about dirty meat... let's go straight into planning dinner. Some of my favorite cooks have agreed to sacrifice their secret recipes here. Make one, or make them all, and have a best-of-Portland dinner party. If you're in town eating at any of the following places, chances are I'm at the next table.
The Alibi
With sculpted hula dancers under black light, woven palm fronds and coconuts, this is Portland's answer to Gilligan's Island. Portland's only tiki bar, the Alibi is at 4024 N Interstate Avenue. Phone: 503-287-5335. It's the summertime home of "Exotiki," the annual festival of bad tropical music, featuring twenty-four-hour pagan voodoo weddings. Wintertime, it's the stomping grounds for the Santa Rampage karaoke singers.
Delta Cafe
According to cafe owner Anastasia Corya, these fritters make a great appetizer. According to cook and filmmaker Ryan Rothermel—whose films include Ampersand and Lover or Liver—you might add two diced jalapeño peppers to the dip. These recipes are for restaurant quantities, so throw a party or do the math to cut them down. Better yet, go to the Delta Cafe at 4607 SE Woodstock Boulevard. There isn't a disappointment on the whole menu. Phone: 503-771-3101.
FRITTERS
12 cups white flour
4 teaspoons baking powder
2 teaspoons salt
12 eggs
5 cups milk
¾ pound butter, melted
4 cups com kernels, raw
4 cups cooked black-eyed peas (see recipe below)
Mix the dry ingredients. Add the remaining ingredients and mix well. Heat an inch of vegetable oil in a frying pan and cook the fritters until golden brown.
FRITTER DIP
5 pounds cooked black-eyed peas (8 cups)
1 27-ounce can diced green chiles
1 pound jack cheese (4 cups), grated
½ pound butter, melted
Mix all the ingredients together. Put one-third in a food processor and blend it into a paste. Mix the paste back into the remaining two-thirds. Heat in a double boiler until the cheese is melted and smooth.
BLACK-EYED PEAS
10 pounds dry black-eyed peas
1 bunch celery, chopped
2 yellow onions, chopped
4 carrots, sliced
4 tablespoons salt
2 tablespoons black pepper
2 bay leaves
¼ pound whole garlic cloves (about 1 cup), peeled
Put all ingredients in a stockpot and boil 45 minutes or until tender. Add water if needed.
Fuller's Restaurant
Come have breakfast or lunch with the locals, but don't leave without a loaf of Fuller s incredible fresh-baked bread. It's at 136 NW Ninth Avenue. Phone: 503-222-5608.
Le Happy
Owner John Brodie also manages the band Pink Martini, a popular band here in the States but cult heroes in France. "When I've traveled with Pink Martini in the U.S. and France," John says, "we always seemed to find a good creperie. So I decided to open one here. So now when the French visit us, we can take them to an authentic creperie in Portland, Oregon." Wherever you are, check out the website www.lehappy.com. The restaurant is at 1011 NW Sixteenth Avenue. Phone: 503-226-1258.
LE HAPPY'S FAUX VEGAN CREPES
Traditionally, crepes are served folded over in a half circle, or with the sides of the round crepe folded in to make a perfect square. To make at home, we've adapted this recipe to serve smaller rolled crepes.
Makes 8 crepes, 4 servings
Buckwheat crepe batter
¾ cup all-purpose flour ¼ cup buckwheat flour
1⅓ cup whole milk
2 eggs
¼ cup water
¼ teaspoon salt
Pepper to taste
2 teaspoons butter, melted
Vegetable oil for frying
Mushroom ragout
1 pound mushrooms (about 6 cups), chopped
2 tablespoons butter
1½ teaspoons porcini powder (see note)
½ cup dry sherry
Salt and pepper to taste
1 cup heavy cream
8 tablespoons Gruyère cheese (or Swiss), grated
2 cups fresh spinach, chopped
4 ounces mild goat cheese ('A cup)
2 tablespoons fresh parsley, chopped
½ teaspoon fresh thyme, minced
4 tablespoons crèmefraîche (see note)
TO make crepes: Whisk together the white and buckwheat flour. Add the milk and eggs and stir to combine. Add the water, salt, pepper, and melted butter and stir until smooth. The batter should be the consistency of heavy cream.
Heat an 8-inch nonstick crepe pan (or omelet pan) over medium-high heat and brush lightly with vegetable oil. Pour ¼ cup batter into the hot pan and quickly tip and swirl to evenly coat the pan. Cook, over medium-high heat, until the bottom is golden brown. Flip and cook second side briefly. Remove to a warm plate. Repeat with remaining batter. Hold crepes in a warm oven until needed.
TO make mushroom ragout: Sauté the mush-rooms in the butter over medium-high heat until the mushrooms are tender and beginning to give up some of their liquid. Stir in the porcini powder and dry sherry and cook over high heat until the sherry is almost completely evaporated. Season with salt and pepper and stir in the cream. Cook over high heat until the cream is reduced and the sauce is thick. Taste and season again with salt and pepper if necessary. Keep warm until ready to fill crepes.
TO assemble crepes: Preheat oven to 250 degrees. Place a warm crepe on a plate and sprinkle with 1 tablespoon Gruyère. Top with ¼ cup chopped spinach and one-eighth of the mushroom ragout. Crumble 1 tablespoon goat cheese over the mushrooms, and sprinkle with a mixture of parsley and thyme. Roll the crepe around the filling and arrange seamside down on a baking dish. Fill and roll remaining crepes and place in baking pan. Cover and bake for 10 to 15 minutes or until crepes are heated through. Drizzle with crème fraîche and serve hot.