But who was bachelor number three? One of Cohen’s lawyers told Judge Wood that he had consulted the third client over the weekend and the person didn’t want his name out there.
“At this point, no one would want to be associated with the case in that way,” said the lawyer, and I had to stop myself from yelling, “No shit!” But Wood wasn’t having it and demanded that the lawyer reveal the name.
“Your honor, the client’s name that is involved is Sean Hannity,” he said.
There was this eruption of gasps and do-you-believe-this chuckles in the courtroom, like a big reveal in a comic film. The Fox News know-it-all and Trump BFF was tied up with Cohen. (Right away, Hannity took to Twitter to deny Cohen ever represented him. That night on his show he had this hysterical take on the legal system: “Never paid him any fees,” he said. “I might have handed him ten bucks. ‘I definitely want attorney-client privilege on this.’ Something like that.”)
After that big Legally Blonde moment in the courtroom, it was kind of boring, to be honest. It just went on and on for three hours, with the lawyers saying the same thing over and over. I was very aware that my stomach was growling loud enough for people to hear, but at least I wasn’t bleeding all over the place.
The best part was that the world was finally seeing what I knew. They thought Michael Cohen was this mastermind, a consigliere who fixed everything. No, he’s a complete fucking moron. The world would not know anything about me without him constantly getting in his own way.
The sea of photographers was still raging when we walked out of the courthouse, but now there was a little island of sidewalk to stand on and make my statement. I went up to what looked like a tangled bouquet of fifteen microphones and leaned in. “Hi, everyone,” I said. The crowd noise was so loud that I couldn’t hear myself. But I had to get past my nerves. I was finally getting to speak without a filter.
“So, for years Mr. Cohen has acted like he is above the law,” I began. “He has considered himself and openly referred to himself as Mr. Trump’s fixer. He has played by a different set of rules, or should I say, no rules at all. He has never thought that the little man or especially woman—and even more, women like me—mattered. That ends now. My attorney and I are committed to making sure that everyone finds out the truth and the facts of what happened. And I give my word that we will not rest until that happens. Thank you.”
I looked at Michael, who was standing to my left. I gave him a look of Was that good? He suppressed a smile. I had said what I came to say, and I was just getting started.
The next morning, Brandon and Travis whisked me into the ABC Television Center for the April 17 live taping of The View. After 60 Minutes, I was determined to do my own makeup and told the producers so. When I met the ladies, everyone was very nice. But when I went to shake the hand of Meghan McCain, I could tell by the way she did it that she did not want to have to touch me. She clearly despised me. Meghan is the resident conservative, and right before the show I could tell people were super worried that she was going to say something that offended me.
I thought that if she had something to say that wasn’t a vicious attack, then she should say it. And I’m not lying, so I have no problem answering anything. I hoped she would.
I sat backstage watching the beginning of the show, with the announcer talking up my appearance and calling me “the woman everyone in America is talking about.” Right away, Whoopi Goldberg turned the focus to Meghan, asking for an update on the condition of her father, Senator John McCain. The senator had to have emergency surgery for complications in his treatment for brain cancer. “I had a really rough morning,” Meghan said, announcing that she would soon be going to be with him in Arizona. She added that her father would be watching the show. Now I really wanted to her to ask me whatever question was weighing on her heart.
After the first commercial break, they sat me in the middle of the table, with Michael sitting to my left. Joy Behar asked me why I came there knowing I was under the threat of President Trump suing me for twenty million dollars if I talked. “I’m tired of being threatened,” I said. “I’m done being bullied. I’m done.”
“Will you have to pay the twenty million?” she asked.
“I’d have to get twenty million first,” I answered. The crowd roared. I smiled. Meghan didn’t.
They asked why I attended Michael Cohen’s court hearing. I said I wasn’t sure if they were going to be discussing my case, and I wanted to be prepared.
Meghan paused for a second before going in. “It seems like a publicity stunt on some level,” she started. Good girl, I thought. Say what you want. She finished with “I hadn’t heard your name until all this happened and now you are literally live on The View giving an entire interview to us.”
I was grateful she gave me the opportunity to talk about this. “This isn’t what I want to be known for,” I said. “As a matter of fact, I hid for quite a while, and it’s overwhelming and intimidating and downright scary sometimes.” I mentioned the cost to my family, but also the literal cost of bodyguards. “You don’t want to know their food bill, because I have to feed them three times a day and they are big.” My dragons hated that and made me feel guilty about it for weeks!
When Joy tried to deflect the question, I returned my attention to Meghan. “Meghan has a very, very good question, and if I were her or anyone else, that’s what I would be saying. A lot of people have.”
I liked that she grew some balls and asked it. Especially with her war-hero dad watching at home. I have crazy respect for her, because up until then I thought maybe she was just going to be all bark. Afterward, people brought it up to me, saying things like “She should have kept her mouth shut. You were a guest in her house.”
No. She wanted to know the answer to something that bothered her, she was told not to, and she did it anyway. I gave her my answer, and she listened. She sat there, open-minded, and she was a big enough person to accept my answer.
When it was over, she shook my hand again and this time there was a mutual respect, if not regard.
“Maybe you’ll come back,” she said.
“I would like that,” I said, meaning it. I appreciate that the other women were so kind to me, but I knew they supported me from the beginning. Either because they understood the law of the case or had a natural sympathy for anyone standing up to Trump. Meghan I had to win over. I don’t think I changed her opinion of me wholly, and I definitely don’t think I changed her opinion of porn. All I care about is that she wouldn’t allow herself to be silenced.
When I go back, I am most excited to see her again. Maybe she’ll change my mind about something.
President Trump must have been watching along with Senator McCain, because he broke his Twitter silence about me. We do know he loves his TV time. On the show, Michael and I presented a sketch of the man who threatened my daughter and me in the Las Vegas parking lot. “A sketch years later about a nonexistent man,” he tweeted at six in the morning on April 18, probably from the toilet. “A total con job, playing the Fake News Media for Fools (but they know it)!”