Curt shook his head. “No, that’s okay. I think I’m going to head out, actually. Not that I want to bail on you. I mean, I’ll stay if you want me to.”
“It’s okay, Curt. Go.”
“I just need to take a drive or something.”
“I get it. If you need anything, call.”
Cat leaned over and kissed his cheek, and he gave her a weak smile. She hated seeing Curt with his ego deflated, because he took it so hard. The two of them got up and hugged again, and then Cat walked him to the front door with her arm around his waist. They went outside, where Brayden leaned against the railing on the porch and studied his phone. The sky on the horizon was black, and Cat could see stabs of lightning over the bay water. The drizzle got harder.
“See ya, Kitty Cat,” Curt mumbled, heading down the steps into the rain.
“Yeah, bye, Curt.”
She watched him until he got into his car and headed down the Point toward the lift bridge. Even when he was gone, she didn’t move from where she was. The storm rumbled closer, a shroud of dark, bubbled clouds. She was conscious of Brayden standing silently a few feet away. He’d put away his phone and was watching her, but she didn’t look back at him. Without saying anything, she took a seat on one of the white Adirondack chairs, and Brayden sat down beside her. The wind was like a wave blowing up the street, tossing the trees.
“That was a quick visit,” Brayden said eventually.
“Yeah.”
“Everything okay?”
“Sure.”
He squinted at the sky. “This is going to be a bad storm.”
“Uh-huh.”
“I like watching the storms.”
“Me, too.”
They were quiet for a while.
“Are you upset with me?” Brayden asked.
“No.”
“Because you look upset.”
“I’m not.”
“Well, you’re being so talkative, it’s hard to tell.”
Cat ignored his sarcasm. She pulled her knees up on the chair and wrapped her arms around them. Her voice was chilly. “I told Curt that you and I have a connection. I think you know that we do, but you’re running away from it.”
“I have a job to do.”
“Does that mean you have to pretend not to feel anything for me?”
“It does sort of mean that, yes.”
“What about when the job’s done?” Cat asked.
“I’ll cross that bridge later.”
Cat shook her head. “Is it the age thing?”
“Partly. It’s complicated.”
“I don’t know why age is a big deal. I’m young, but you know everything I’ve been through. That grew me up fast.”
“I get that.”
“Is it Stride? Does he scare you that much?”
“I’m not scared of Stride, Cat.”
“Well, you can’t be scared of me.”
“Don’t be so sure,” Brayden told her with a smile. “I think you’d be surprised how many men find you absolutely terrifying.”
“That’s bullshit. Most men just want to have sex with me and then walk away. Is that what you want? Because I’m okay with that.”
Brayden waited to reply until she turned and stared into his blue eyes. “You say things like that a lot, but I don’t think you mean it. That’s not the girl you are. Or who you want to be.”
“You don’t think so? Well, I’m telling you, I’m serious. I am. I’m going to go inside and take a shower now. You can join me if you want, and we can do whatever. It doesn’t have to be anything more than that. It could be just like the kiss. We have sex, and then you pretend it didn’t happen.”
“That’s not what I’m doing.”
“Sure. Right.”
“Look, I’m sorry, Cat. For a lot of things.”
She pushed herself out of the chair and walked over to the railing. Rain dripped down from the roof, and she could feel the vibration of thunder under her feet. “I told Curt that you get me. You understand me. Was I wrong about that?”
Brayden exhaled slowly. He walked over to stand beside her. She could feel him trying to hold up the wall that kept them apart. “No, I don’t think you’re wrong about that. I do understand you. Your mother was killed when you were a little girl. You felt abandoned by her. You felt angry. And you blame yourself for feeling that way, because it’s wrong, and it’s not fair.”
“That’s exactly right.”
“I’m the same way,” Brayden told her. “I was abandoned twice. My birth mother gave me up, and then my adoptive mother died. So yes, I get you, because I’ve been where you are. And it’s true, you and I have a connection, but two halves don’t necessarily make a whole.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means even if we understand each other, even if we share some bad things about our past, that doesn’t mean we’re good together.”
“We might be.”
“No. We’re not. Right now, I have a job to do, and that’s all.”
Cat held back tears. “Fine. Whatever you want. I’m going to take that shower now.”
“I’ll be right here.”
“My offer still stands. No strings.”
“I’m sorry, Cat.”
She left Brayden on the porch, and inside, she felt a rush of emptiness, like morphine numbing her pain. The cottage felt dark and deserted. She went to the bathroom and took off all her clothes, and she shivered as she waited for the trickle of water to heat up. When it finally did, she climbed into the tub and stood under the spray, eyes wide open, staring at the wall, wishing she were someone else. In her head were all of the people who meant something to her. Brayden, and Stride, and Serena, and Curt, and in back of all of them, Michaela.
Michaela. Her mother. Murdered by her father. Michaela existed now only in a couple of photographs from her childhood. Cat couldn’t even call up a memory of her mother’s face. She was gone for good.
Cat wasn’t sure how long she stood under the shower, but eventually, the hot water ran out and turned cold. She shut it off and got out of the tub. She was shivering again, but she didn’t even grab a towel to dry herself. She simply let the cold rattle her body, her knees knocking together. She dripped on the floor until the mat at her feet was soaking wet.
Fresh clothes were in her bedroom. She’d forgotten to bring them with her. Cat went and yanked open the bathroom door, which always stuck.
Then she screamed.
Colleen was standing in front of her.
30
Stride watched branches of lightning erupt over the lake like ribbons of fire, followed by a deafening boom of thunder. The clouds opened up; rain poured down, hammering the roof of his Expedition. The grayness of dusk in the sky had turned as black as night. His truck was parked on the sidewalk near the bay water. The immense Duluth convention center was on his left, and when he looked up at the tall windows of the ballroom, he could see the silhouettes of people staring out at the storm.
“Maggie’s on her way to talk to Adam Halka,” he told Serena. “Maybe we’ll finally get some answers.”
Serena didn’t say anything for a long time. Her face was dark, like the evening sky, and she stared at the rain as if under a spell. “I don’t know. It was thirty years ago, Jonny. Are there really any answers to get? Say we’re right. Say Andrea was actually raped by Adam Halka, not Devin. We still can’t touch him. The statute of limitations expired long ago.”
“We can get him if he killed Ned Baer,” Stride said. “Andrea and I weren’t the only ones who knew that Ned was out at the Deeps that night. Adam knew it, too.”
Serena nodded, but she looked distracted.
“What is it?” Stride asked.
“Even if we tell Andrea what we think, she won’t believe it. She’s certain it was Devin Card. Short of Adam admitting what happened — which he isn’t likely to do — we’re not going to change her mind.”