The energy of the scar blasted through my body and to his with holy-crap-what-have-I-done intensity. I dragged in a breath, sought balance. Kadir’s lips parted, eyes closing as his face took on a disturbingly orgasmic look. In the next breath, chaos poured from him and through me to unite with the scar.
I’d gone too far. Drowning in a sea of madness, I called to the grove, clung to its strong presence as I dragged myself above the chaos. In a flash, I felt a tsunami wave swamp Kadir’s tiny island of order and relative sanity.
He jerked against my hand, and his eyes flew open, wild and unfocused, while his aura radiated chaos like a solar storm. Breathing hard, I forced my fingers to unclench from his hair. Kadir fell to his knees, hands white-knuckled on the edge of the bed.
Distantly, I heard Bryce call my name, but couldn’t spare him a glance. The healing sigil sputtered with weak flickers. “Kadir!” I shouted. “We have to finish healing Paul or . . .” Or what? “Or you’ll violate your agreement with Mzatal.” It was a long shot but it worked. He clawed through the chaos to refocus on Paul. But slowly. Too slowly.
I gripped his wrist and placed his hand atop the contorted sigil on Paul’s chest. Kadir straightened and spread his fingers, but his attempt to call the needed strands together failed with a shower of arcane sparks. I reached through Kadir—just as Szerain had reached through me on the mini-nexus to try to call Vsuhl—used the understanding and bizarre connection to adjust and ignite the sigil. It flashed bright green then shifted into precise and ordered curves. Grove energy still coursing through me, I stared at the pattern of the new sigil, at the order from the chaos. A torrent of information like a million minds connecting at once bombarded me, even as the sigil subsided to a faint glow on Paul’s skin.
I jerked my hand from Kadir’s wrist, then sat frozen in shock, struggling to suppress the impressions I’d received without losing them. I didn’t want to think yet. Not here. Not now. I didn’t dare delve into what I’d experienced in that last heartbeat of connection.
Paul drew in a noisy breath, then another.
“Paul!” Bryce leaned in close, called his name over and over. Paul still felt damaged to me, but far less than before.
Radiating chaos, Kadir pushed himself to his feet, looking deeply shaken. With a hissing breath, he drew his nails down his cheek, deeply enough to draw blood. Helori appeared beyond him. Kadir’s estranged ptarl. I had no trouble seeing why the two didn’t mesh well.
Helori moved in close to Kadir. “Allow me to take you, qaztahl,” he said quietly.
Kadir turned on him. “No,” he snarled. “No!” He swept from the room without another glance in our direction, taking the suffocating blanket of chaos with him.
A look of profound sadness came over Helori’s face, then he moved to the bedside, his eyes on Paul.
Somehow I managed to stand, mundane senses unbalanced while I held the chaos impressions in check. I sensed Mzatal deeply engaged in the plexus and didn’t dare extend to even touch him for fear of shattering my balance, losing the hold on the Kadir experience.
“B-Bryce?” Paul opened his eyes blearily.
Joy and relief suffused Bryce’s face. “Right here, kid,” he said, gathering Paul’s hand in his again. “You’re going to be okay. Everything’s going to be okay.”
Helori moved to my side. “Do you want to go to a grove?”
I gave the barest of nods, certain that if I moved too much the seal holding in the impressions and sensations would break.
He took my hand, fingers warm and strong against mine, and in the next breath we were in a grove.
Not just any grove. Warm, salty air, the gentle crash and rush of the sea, the sweet trill of a tropical bird. This was where he’d taken me to recover from Rhyzkahl’s treachery.
“Perfect,” I whispered, easing very slightly as I soaked in the comfort of it all. Helori touched his forehead to mine, then straightened with a soft smile, turned, and walked up the tree tunnel to leave me in peace. I stayed where I was for several more minutes, until I felt stable enough to sift through the chaos, then followed him out.
A cloudy sky did nothing to detract from the beauty of the turquoise sea as it rolled onto the pristine beach. Helori crouched nearby, in human form now, barefoot and eyes on me. I ran my fingers over the twisted, empty prongs of my ring as I walked toward the water, not caring about the sand that filled my shoes. I didn’t slow when I reached the edge of the surf, allowed the sea to surge and retreat around my legs in a comforting caress. I stopped before the water reached my knees, laid my hand over Kadir’s still active sigil, and finally allowed the seal to crack.
I staggered from the force of the overwhelming chaos, but I caught myself, called the grove energy to mute the madness.
How can Kadir live like this? I reached deeper, beyond consciousness and into the chaos, into the impressions from the fringe of his essence. Like bubbles in a thick, simmering stew, bursts of knowing surfaced and dissolved in the crazy jumble. Not visions. Not words. Flashes of understanding. So much. Too much. Enough. With a gasp, I yanked my hand from the sigil.
Helori came up beside me, slid his arm around my waist. I couldn’t process and hold it all. Most of it came and slipped away, like the waves around my ankles. But I clung to one understanding with stubborn tenacity.
“Kadir’s mother was human,” I stated. “He was cut from her—on Earth—premature, before his—” I struggled to find words for the alien concept. “—before his arcane nervous system fully formed.” I kept my gaze on the water, watched the silver flicker of a school of fish beneath the surface. I didn’t need Helori to acknowledge or deny. I knew.
And though I didn’t know in the same way, my gut and logic told me Kadir wasn’t an outlier. Every single one of the demonic lords had started his life on Earth, with a human parent.
Helori’s breath shuddered out, and he held me a little closer. “They are not ready to know,” he said, millennia of pain thick in his voice. “They cannot yet know.”
I leaned my head against his shoulder. “Please don’t take this from me.” It would be so easy for him to wipe away this knowledge, this pesky little factoid from my memory. Though even as I said it, I realized he wouldn’t have brought me out here to process the knowledge if he’d intended to remove it.
“It is dangerous for you to carry,” he replied, voice barely above a whisper, “but I will block it only.”
I gave a small nod of thanks, put my arm around his waist and leaned in to his comforting strength. Everything was dangerous, and nowhere was safe.
And nobody was truly who they appeared to be.
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