Jace pales at the idea of another contraction, and I have to bite my lip again to keep from laughing.
Karma, baby.
That’s what Jace gets for the hours of pleasure he’s gotten from making fun of Jeremy for having passed out in the delivery room. Hell, Jace wasn’t even there, but the story alone was enough to have him razzing my poor husband.
Ava releases a heavy sigh—one that’s much too dramatic for a six-year-old. Lexi glares at me, and I shrug. Hey, I told her I’d leave Ava with my in-laws, but she—unwisely, might I add—insisted on the whole family being here. Don’t worry. We’ll whisk Ava away before she sees anything too traumatizing.
Then again, considering she likes watching those hospital documentaries that fascinate Jeremy, I think she’d be more than okay seeing a live birth. He swears she’ll grow up to be a doctor, and he’s only cultivating her interest with those shows. I, on the other hand, am way too squeamish to sit through them, no matter how “awesome” Ava claims they are. Blood and gore? No, thank you. Even this girl has her limits, which is ironic because, in high school, Jeremy and I were the complete opposite. Ava definitely didn’t inherit my squeamish stomach. Lucky her.
Ava turns her head and peeks back to where Jeremy’s leaning against the wall. His arms are folded as he watches them intently, his face free of any expression. When Ava gives him a wicked grin and winks, his jaw twitches ever so slightly. Shaking my head, I bite my cheeks to not laugh. These two are awful.
Leaning forward, Ava answers Lexi in a hushed tone, her jaw set tight and her eyes widened with uncertainty. “I’m not supposed to tell,” she says, pausing to nibble on her lower lip. I swear a glimmer of tears shines in her eyes.
That’s it. Forget her being a doctor. I’m enrolling her in acting classes as soon as possible. After Jeremy and I go to Hell, of course. We’re probably terrible parents, but we’re us, and that’s all that matters. I wouldn’t change any of it for the world.
“Ava, honey, what’s wrong?” Lexi asks, sounding very much like the concerned aunt she usually is.
The little girl sitting next to her lets out a heavy, exasperated sigh. “I heard Mom and Dad talking about divorce. How it’s a bad, sad thing and no one wants to do it, but sometimes it’s inevitable. I don’t want it to be inevitable, Aunt Lexi,” she whispers, her lip quivering.
“Oh my God,” Lexi breathes out. Then her eyes widen as the words digest. She inhales sharply, choking and coughing at the same time.
“Ava,” Jeremy pipes up and pushes off the wall. “I don’t think this is the time or the place to discuss what you overheard me talking about with your mother. Plus, what have I told you about eavesdropping?” he chides, his tone cool. Then he tsks, shaking his head at her in mock disappointment.
I take a step forward, more than ready to put an end to their shenanigans for my baby sister’s sake. Before I can intervene, however, Lexi shushes him. Her eyes are focused on Ava, and her words are slow and methodical.
“What do you mean inevitable?”
Ava shrugs and plays with the blanket on the bed before returning her gaze to Lexi’s. “Mom said if Dad farts on her one more time, it’s Divorceville for him. He said for her to draw up the papers because it’s inevitable. No ifs, ands, or butts about it.”
Jeremy snickers, and Ava howls with laughter. The two do an air high five. I bite my lip and shake my head as Lexi goes from thinking Jeremy and I were on the verge of splitting up to now knowing we put Ava up to this. We’re assholes, but that’s the Banks family for you.
Still, I can’t completely blame Jeremy for this one. What Ava told Lexi is a true story. Even though I go from zero to sixty on the anger scale whenever Jeremy…leaves a less-than-stellar scent in my presence, he’s my husband and I love him. After two decades, lots of laughing, and plenty of crying, I’m used to pretty much everything. I may joke about it, but it’d take a hell of a lot more for divorce than a few smelly farts. Pretty much only death could ever part us, and even when that time comes, I’m kinda hopeful we’ll go out The Notebook style.
“Sierra Banks! You are such a jerk!” my sister shouts before flinging a pillow across the room. Then she curses when it falls a foot in front of me, missing her target.
See? I told you. We’re assholes. Or jerks, as Lexi said.
Jace’s laughter echoes in the room, but it ceases when she shoots him an angry glare. He holds his hands up in defense.
“Oh, come on, Alexa,” he teases, inclining his head towards her. “You couldn’t possibly believe those two would ever even consider the idea of divorce. They’ve been joined at the hip since they were kids. If Jeremy and Sierra Banks ceased to be, so would the rest of us. The world would stop spinning. The sun would never rise again. Life as we know it would never be the same.”
I roll my eyes as he waxes poetic, but my heart warms. He’s right. Jeremy and I have been a solid unit for more than half of my life. We’ve been friends for most of it. Hell, I barely remember a time when Jeremy wasn’t an important part of my world, and even though he’s a big ball of romantic cheesiness most of the time, Jace knows what he’s talking about. I don’t even want to think about a life without Jeremy.
Lexi huffs, and when I look up, a frustrated frown crosses her lips. Then she narrows her eyes at her husband. “I know that. You think I don’t know that? Considering I was there for every step of their friendship and subsequent relationship, I know nothing could break them up. They’re this fused entity that can’t ever be detached. Not even the Jaws of Life could separate them.” Her lips curve into a playful scowl. “Still, why the hell would you mess with a pregnant woman like that?! Not to mention I’m in between contractions and the last thing I need is getting my heart rate up. Or my blood pressure. My hormones aren’t exactly making me think like a rational human being. I need peace and zen. Not you guys messing with me.”
Now, I really do feel like a jerk. In my defense, I had no idea Jeremy and Ava were going to do that.
Jace gives a soft smile, leaning down and brushing his lips over Lexi’s forehead in a sweet kiss. “Peace and zen, babe? When have you ever gotten that from those two?”
Ava giggles, which causes Jace to give her a faux scowl.
“Those three, I mean,” he amends.
“Sorry, Aunt Lexi. I was only teasin’,” Ava says, scooting up to give my sister a kiss on the cheek.
Lexi’s frown fades, and she gives Ava a reassuring smile. “It’s okay, Ava. I should know to expect it from the crazy Banks clan,” she tells her.
Jeremy smiles wide like the proud papa he is. Then he crosses the room and places a strong arm around my waist, pulling me in close. His familiar scent permeates the air around us, causing butterflies to flap low in my belly. What was Lexi’s sentiment? We’re the very definition of fusion? She couldn’t be more right. I smile and lean my head against his shoulder.
“Sorry, Lex,” he tells her, grinning, which indicates he’s actually not all that sorry. Like any big brother, he loves teasing her. She should be used to it by now. “But it sure beats the other question she’s been dying to ask.”
She raises a curious eyebrow, folding her arms over her chest. “I highly doubt that,” she huffs indignantly.
Jeremy looks down at me and grins. I nod, knowing just what he’s thinking and wanting him to open that can of worms. Since Jace and Lexi are about to enter the joys of parenthood with a beautiful baby girl, we’ve decided to give them a head start.
“Do I even want to know?” Lexi asks, glancing at the three Banks family members in the room. “What’s the other—?”
“No!” Jace groans, placing a hand over her mouth. “Don’t ask, Alexa. I beg you. Do. Not. Ask.”
Her eyes widen with confusion, but it’s too late.
Ava squeals. “Does this mean I can finally ask now?!”