“Yeah?”
“Yeah, with my back to the door, you know? So guess what?”
“What?”
“I feel somebody’s hand in my pocket, fishing around for my wallet. So I grab the hand by the wrist, and I whip around with my gun in my other hand, and guess who it is?”
“Who is it?”
“It’s Lewis!” Parker said, and began laughing again.
“The best pickpocket in the precinct, he chooses a detective for a mark!”
“I made a mistake,” Lewis said, and scowled.
“Oh, man, you made a big mistake!” Parker bellowed.
“You had your back to me,” Lewis said.
“Lewis, my friend, you are going to prison,” Parker said gleefully, and then said, “Come on down, we’re going to book you before you try to pick Meyer’s pocket there.”
“I don’t think it’s funny,” Lewis said, and followed Parker out of the squadroom, still scowling.
“I think it’s pretty funny,” Meyer said.
A man appeared at the slatted rail divider just then, and asked in hesitant English whether any of the policemen spoke Italian. Carella said that he did, and invited the man to sit at his desk. The man thanked him in Italian and took off his hat, and perched it on his knees when he sat, and then began telling Carella his story. It seemed that somebody was putting garbage in his car.
“Rifiuti?“ Carella asked.
“Sì, rifiuti,“ the man said.
For the past week now, the man went on, someone had been opening his car at night and dumping garbage all over the front seat. All sorts of garbage. Empty tin cans and dinner leftovers and apple cores and coffee grounds, everything. All over the front seat of the car.
“Perchè non lo chiude a chiave?” Carella asked.
Well, the man explained, he did lock his car every night, but it didn’t do any good. Because the way the garbage was left in it the first time was that quello porco broke the side vent and opened the door that way in order to do his dirty work. So it didn’t matter if he continued to lock the car, the befouler continued to open the door by sticking his hand in through the broken flap window, and then he dumped all his garbage on the front seat, the car was beginning to stink very badly.
Well, Carella said, do you know of anyone who might want to put garbage on your front seat?
No, I do not know of anyone who would do such a filthy thing, the man said.
Is there anyone who has a grudge against you? Carella asked.
No, I am loved and respected everywhere in the world, the man said.
Well, Carella said, we’ll send a man over to check it out.
“Per piacere,” the man said, and put on his hat, and shook hands with Carella, and left the squadroom.
The time was 10:33 A.M.
At 10:35 A.M., Meyer called Raoul Chabrier down at the district attorney’s office, spent a delightful three minutes chatting with Bernice, and was finally put through to Chabrier himself.
“Hello, Rollie,” Meyer said, “what’d you find out?”
“About what?” Chabrier said.
“About the book I called to …”
“Oh.”
“You forgot,” Meyer said flatly.
“Listen,” Chabrier said, “have you ever tried handling two cases at the same time?”
“Never in my life,” Meyer said.
“Well, it isn’t easy, believe me. I’m reading law on one of them, and trying to get a brief ready on the other. You expect me to worry about some goddamn novel at the same time?”
“Well …” Meyer said.
“I know, I know, I know,” Chabrier said, “I promised.”
“Well …”
“I’ll get to it. I promise you again, Meyer. I’m a man who never breaks his word. Never. I promised you, and now I’m promising you again. What was the title of the book?”
“Meyer Meyer,” Meyer said.
“Of course, Meyer Meyer, I’ll look into it immediately. I’ll get back to you, I promise. Bernice,” he shouted, “make a note to get back to Meyer!”
“When?” Meyer said.
That was at 10:39.
At five minutes to eleven, a tall blond man wearing a hearing aid and carrying a cardboard carton walked into the Hale Street Post Office downtown. He went directly to the counter, hefted the carton onto it, and shoved it across to the mail clerk. There were a hundred sealed and stamped envelopes in the carton.
“These all going to the city?” the clerk asked.
“Yes,” the deaf man replied.
“First class?”
“Yes.”
“All got stamps?”
“Every one of them.”
“Right,” the clerk said, and turned the carton over, dumping the envelopes onto the long table behind him. The deaf man waited. At eleven A.M., the mail clerk began running the envelopes through the cancellation machine.
The deaf man went back to the apartment, where Rochelle met him at the door.
“Did you mail off your crap?” she asked.
“I mailed it,” the deaf man said, and grinned.
John the Tailor wasn’t having any of it.
“I no wanna cops in my shop,” he said flatly and unequivocally and in somewhat fractured English.
Carella patiently explained, in English, that the police had definite knowledge of a planned holdup to take place on Friday night at eight o’clock but that it was the lieutenant’s idea to plant two men in the rear of the shop starting tonight in case the thieves changed their minds and decided to strike earlier. He assured John the Tailor that they would unobtrusively take up positions behind the hanging curtain that divided the front of the shop from the rear, out of his way, quiet as mice, and would move into action only if and when the thieves struck.
“Lei è pazzo!” John the Tailor said in Italian, meaning he thought Carella was crazy. Whereupon Carella switched to speaking Italian, which he had learned as a boy and which he didn’t get much chance to practice these days except when he was dealing with people like the man who had come in to complain about the garbage in his car, or people like John the Tailor, who was suddenly very impressed with the fact that Carella, like himself, was Italian.
John the Tailor had once written a letter to a very popular television show, complaining that too many of the Italians on that show were crooks. He had seventy-four people in his immediate family, all of them living here in the United States, in this city, for most of their lives, and none of them were criminals, all of them were honest, hard-working people. So why should the television make it seem that all Italians were thieves? He had received a letter written by some programming assistant, explaining that not all the criminals on the show were Italians, some of them were Jews and Irish, too. This had not mollified John the Tailor, since he was quite intelligent and capable of understanding the basic difference between the two statements Not all Italians are criminals and Not all criminals are Italians. So it was very plesant to have an Italian cop in his shop, even if it meant having to put up with strangers in the back behind the curtain. John the Tailor did not like strangers, even if they were Italian cops. Besides, the other stranger, the short one, definitely was not Italian, God knew what he was!
The tailor shop did a very thriving business, though Carella doubted it brought in anything near four hundred dollars a week, which was apparently La Bresca’s and Calucci’s estimate of the take. He wondered why either of the two men would be willing to risk a
minimum of ten and a maximum of thirty years in prison, the penalty for first-degree robbery, when all they could hope to gain for their efforts was four hundred dollars. Even granting them the minimum sentence, and assuming they’d be out on parole in three-and-a-half, that came to about a hundred and fifteen dollars a year, meager wages for any occupation.