“Jack Holloway calls me ‘Papa.’ You can call me ‘Papa,’” Papa said.
“How do you feel, Papa?” Soltan asked.
“I feel with my hands,” Papa said.
“You might want to try more direct questions,” Holloway said.
“All right,” Soltan said. “Papa, how do you speak our language?”
“With my mouth,” Papa said, and gave Soltan a look, as if wondering how she didn’t know either this, or how to feel.
“No,” Soltan said. “Who taughtyou to speak our language? Did Jack Holloway teach you to speak?”
“I knew your language before I met Jack Holloway,” the fuzzy said. “No man taught me to speak your language. Andy Alpaca taught us to speak your language. Andy Alpaca taught us from inside the flat talking rock.”
“That makes no sense,” Meyer said. “That makes no sense at all.”
“What is a flat talking rock?” Soltan said.
Papa turned and pointed to Holloway’s infopanel. “This is a flat talking rock,” it said. “You use other words for it.”
“That’s an infopanel,” Soltan said.
“Yes,” Papa said. “The man and the monkey fell out of the sky and the man was killed by the” pause, as Papa used a fuzzy word. “We went into the skimmer to see what we could see and found the flat talking rock. It taught us your language.”
Soltan looked at Holloway. “Translate,” she said.
“There was a surveyor named Sam Hamilton,” Holloway said. “He had a pet monkey. His skimmer went down. He was killed by zararaptors. The fuzzys checked out the skimmer wreckage and found his infopanel. Sam was nearly illiterate, so he was using kids’ reading software to learn how to read. The software was adaptive, so it took into consideration the user’s comprehension level and scaled from there.”
“You’re seriously suggesting these things learned to read and speak a human language from an advanced piece of technology,” Meyer said.
“Yes, just like human toddlers,” Holloway said. “Amazing, that.”
“Unlike these things, toddlers are surrounded by other humans talking to them all the time,” Meyer said.
“And unlike toddlers, the fuzzys who found this were adults, and smart enough to figure out what the infopanel was displaying to them,” Holloway said. “You’re still working under the impression these things are animals. They’re not. They’re as smart as you or I.”
“Why didn’t you mention any of this before?” Soltan asked. “You were in here last week arguing these fuzzys had language. If you had one come in and speak English, it would have made your case a lot better.”
Holloway nodded toward the fuzzy. “That’s a question for Papa,” he said.
Soltan looked at the fuzzy. “You knew our language before you met Jack Holloway,” she said.
“Yes,” said Papa.
“You did not speak to Jack Holloway in our language when you met him,” Soltan said.
“No,” said Papa.
“Why?” asked Soltan.
“I did not want Jack Holloway to know,” Papa said. “We did not know if Jack Holloway was a good man or a bad man. You have many bad men. Bad men take our homes and food from us and make us move away from other” pause. “We did not know if there are any good men. All the men we saw were bad. When we moved, we found where Jack Holloway lived. I wanted to see and went to see it. Jack Holloway and Carl came and I was scared. But Jack Holloway was good and gave me food. I went back to my people and said I had found a good man.”
There was a snort from Janice Meyer at this.
“I wanted to go back but my people were scared,” Papa said. “I told them about Carl and how Carl was like the monkey who follows us. An animal who was not smart but who men liked. I said I would go and be quiet, to learn more about Jack Holloway and men. I would not speak your language. I would not let Jack Holloway know I could speak your language. I would see how Jack Holloway was with me quiet before I would see how Jack Holloway was with me smart. If Jack Holloway was a good man, then we could show who we are and that we are smart. If Jack Holloway was a bad man, we would hide and move, as we did before.”
Holloway listened to Papa explain to Soltan and was amazed again by the creature. Papa’s words were simple—even at its highest setting the particular software Sam had on his infopanel was not meant for complex adult concepts or reading levels, and Papa’s language would be hampered by that—but the fuzzy spoke them confidently and fluently. It didn’t know much of the English language, but the little part it knew, it knew pretty well. Well enough for this.
Papa turned to Holloway. “My throat hurts,” the fuzzy said.
“Of course it does,” Holloway said. “You’ve been orating in a very low voice.”
Soltan looked at Holloway. “He’s saying he was a spy,” Soltan said. “Acting like a pet.”
“Yes,” Holloway said. “Although not entirely like a pet. It was clear Papa was smart, it just wasn’t clear he was smart on the level of a sentient creature. Also, he’s not really a he, he’s an it.”
Soltan frowned. “You call him ‘Papa,’” she said.
“Biology mistake,” Holloway said. “Patriarchal assumptions. What are you going to do.”
“Well, whatever,” Soltan said, and turned her attention back to Papa. “Do all of your people speak our language?” she asked.
“No,” Papa said. “I do. Some others do. Not many. It is hard to learn. Only I did from those who came to be with Jack Holloway.”
“Why did you want to learn our language?” Soltan asked.
“We want to know why you do what you do,” Papa said. “When we found the flat talking rock we knew that it could help us learn to talk with men. We learn and we look for a man to talk to. We did not find good men. We found bad men.”
“Who are the bad men?” Soltan said. “You said we had many of them.”
“Yes,” Papa said. “They have machines and tear the ground and trees and make the air stink. The trees are where we live and where our food is. When they come we do not stay. They do not see us because we see how they kill animals who come close. We go and we hide.”
Soltan glanced up at Holloway at this. “I presume you haven’t told your friend here what you do for a living, Mr. Holloway.”
Holloway looked embarrassed at this. “It hasn’t come up, no,” he said.
“There are levels of irony to that,” Soltan said.
“Granted,” Holloway said. “But given who they are and how they live, it’s easy to see why they see the surveyors and workers they come across as bad men. It also explains how they came to find me. Sam Hamilton’s old territory was next to mine. Not too long ago, the new surveyor there found copper along the border of our territories, and ZaraCorp came in and tore up a good chunk of it. Papa’s tribe of fuzzys must have gotten displaced. They’ve been moving through the trees ever since, looking for a new home. And if you want to hear something both funny and sad, ask Papa why it thought living with me might be a good idea.”
Soltan looked at Papa. “Why did you want to live with Jack Holloway?” she asked.
“I do not think men will tear the ground and trees where they live,” Papa said.
“Think about that, Your Honor,” Holloway said. “Aside from the irony inherent in the statement, that’s a fair feat of cognitive modeling. This fuzzy took what it knew about humans and guessed at what our behavior would be toward each other, and how it could work that to its own advantage and to the advantage of its own people.”
“If that’s true, then the thing’s been using you all this time, Mr. Holloway,” Soltan said.
“Another argument for their sentience, Your Honor,” Holloway said.
“It doesn’t bother you,” Soltan said.
“Not really, Your Honor,” Holloway said.
“Mr. Holloway, that doesn’t surprise me in the least,” Soltan said.
“Yes, Your Honor,” Holloway said. “And now may I remind you that as enlightening as this has been for all of us, I brought Papa here for a specific reason, which is to testify for this preliminary hearing. If Your Honor is sufficiently convinced that Papa is neither a trick nor a parrot, I would like to put it on the stand.”