"I SAY! Can't you idiot civilians EVER learn to drive properly?"
Brim felt his eyebrows-and hackles-rise as a familiar figure swaggered into view outside.
"Sweet, clotted crumbs of xorkfrew," he swore. "I knew I recognized that voice. It's thraggling Hagbut!" He shook his head as memories returned in a flood. General (the Hon.) Gastudgon Z' Hagbut, Xce, N.B.E., Q.O.C., Imperial Expeditionary Forces (Combat) was the same small, intense-looking superpatriot of middling years under whose command he had served during The A'zurnian campaign. Red-faced and custom-tailored as always, Hagbut still spoke as if he disliked showing his teeth.
"Hagbut?" Margot demanded, attempting to comb her hair and apply makeup at the same time. "You mean General Hagbut?"
"I see you've already met him, too," Brim said dryly, watching the Captain and a number of gaily dressed onlookers muscle his clearly disabled vehicle to the opposite curb.
"I can't believe it!" Margot growled under her breath. "What perfectly horrible luck." She shook her head. "You were with him on A'zurn, weren't you?"
"Yeah," Brim acknowledged dismally, "bad luck then, too. "
"I'll bet," Margot said, adjusting her service cap, "I have to work with that perfect stuffed shirt at least once a week." She peered glumly through the one-way glass. "I think I heard somebody say he's from the Ornwald region of the galaxy-and I'll bet we're in mat section of town."
"YOU, in there!" Hagbut roared imperiously, pounding on me roof over Brim's head.
"COME OUT OF THAT LIMOUSINE whoever you are!" Then he pointed to Ambridge as if the man were an especially dangerous adversary. "How DARE you exercise right-of-way over a General Officer of the Imperial Army?"
"B-but General," Ambridge protested. "The signal was dearly in the favor of my limousine. I was already started into the intersection when your staff car hit me."
"You had NO BUSINESS in that intersection when I was coming through," Hagbut interrupted, Then he pounded on the limousine again. "COME OUT OF THERE and face the consequences, you damned civilians!"
Brim glanced at Margot, who now seemed to be reasonably satisfied with her appearance. Her cheeks, however, had come flushed enough to be noticeable, even in the comparative darkness of the limousine. And her eyes were narrowed to slits. He had just reached for the door button when she placed a restraining hand firmly on his sleeve.
"Wait," she said between clenched lips, "this is my problem." With a dark look on her face, she climbed past him opened the door herself. Ambridge was in the process of explaining again that the traffic signal was enabled for their direction when Hagbut interrupted him in midsentence.
"Here on Avalon, signals are of little concern to vehicles on IMPORTANT OFFICIAL BUSINESS," he blustered. "AND FURTHERMORE..." Abruptly, his voice trailed off while his jaw dropped. "P-princess Effer'wyck," he gasped.
"You tell 'em, General," the Captain growled, still directing his anger-and his attention-entirely to Ambridge. "Damned civilians, anyway..."
"SHUT UP, Captain!"
"Huh?..."
"Princess Effer'wyck! What an extreme pleasure to see you here, YOUR HIGHNESS.
How unfortunate of my clumsy aide to cause this accident...."
"I caused what?"
"Ah, good evening, General Hagbut," Margot answered coolly. "I believe that I heard you say Ambridge caused the accident?"
"Yeah, General, I ah..."
"Will you BE QUIET, Captain? You know perfectly well it was your fault."
"B-but, General, you was the one that was hungry. I didn't want to run the signal. They'd have kept our reservation at the restaurant...."
Hagbut's face turned a deep crimson, and he started to speak, but Ambridge-who had returned to the chauffeur's compartment-used that moment to spin up the limousine's traction engine. It failed to catch, however, and drifted to silence. Momentarily distracted, Hagbut glanced past Margot into the limousine. "BRIM!" he exclaimed in surprise. "What the name of Kaehler are you doing in a limousine with a princess?"
"Good evening, General," Brim said, stepping to the pavement and saluting. "It is good to see you again, sir," he lied, raising his voice over a second unsuccessful attempt to start the limousine's traction engine.
"AH, YES," Hagbut crowed, clearly on the lookout for any distraction from the present situation. "I'm sure it is, young man!" He turned to Margot. "Last year," he said boastfully, "I only helped further this young Carescrian's military career, but I-PERSONALLY-provided him with the tactical advice that enabled him to perform an OUTSTANDING mission and win an A'zurnian medal."
Brim gritted his teeth while Ambridge made a third unsuccessful attempt to start the limousine. Were the truth known, during the A'zurnian raid, he'd saved both Hagbut's career and his skinny neck....
"I say, DIDN'T I?" Hagbut prompted, pulling on Brim's sleeve.
"It was a fine mission, General," the Carescrian replied.
"A 'fine' mission?" Hagbut exclaimed blusteringly. "Is that all you have to say about it?
Why, thanks to me, it made you part of MY SUCCESS. Part of an IMPERIAL TRIUMPH!"
"Your Highness," Ambridge interrupted from the driver's seat. "I'm afraid the traction engine won't start. I have another car on its way from the Embassy, but the driver requires at least half a metacycle to drive here."
"MOST UNFORTUNATE," Hagbut boomed with a sudden look of concern. He frowned for a moment, then abruptly broke into a smile of sorts, one of the few Brim could remember.
"With such a long time to wait, Princess," he said, shooting his cuffs grandly, "surely you will join me for supper. That way, your embassy driver need not hurry to pick you up-and I can enjoy your company whilst I endeavor to ATONE for the CLUMSINESS OF MY AIDE." He glared at his crestfallen companion while a gaggle of street urchins helped Ambridge push the Effer'ian limousine onto a side street.
Brim watched Margot's eyebrows rise-clearly, she hadn't expected anything like this. She opened her mouth....
"Oh, come on, now, Your Highness," Hagbut interrupted, turning on all the charm he could muster. "As a native Ornwaldian, I know this section as if it were my home. We have an excellent dining establishment only A FEW STEPS from this VERY intersection: the Golden Cockerel; I dine there often. AND, I shall even EXTEND my invitation to Captain Quince-I believe you have met him, Your Highness-as well as Lieutenant Brim. The two of them can discuss, er, MILITARY matters and so forth whilst we speak on more CULTURED subjects.
Now, what do you say? In the interests on intra-Empirical relations..."
Margot turned to Brim with a frantic look in her eyes. "W-well..." she stammered.
It was the first time he could remember seeing her flustered. Of course, Hagbut could have no idea that she and a mere Carescrian planned to spend the evening making love.
Most royalty considered that Carescrians were hardly sentient.... And then it hit turn like a sack of rocks-if they joined Hagbut in a restaurant, she'd be expected to take off her cloak!
"Really, General," Margot imparted, color rising to her cheeks again. "It was only a minor accident-no one was hurt. Wilf and I can wait in the limousine until..."
"Nonsense, Your Highness," Hagbut countered. "I shall hear none of it. Quince caused you this inconvenience in MY service,"-he glared momentarily at the captain-"and I MUST make some restitution, at least."