Nobody had told her. I watched a tremor run through her, and she bowed her head for a second. When she raised it, her eyes were clear and bright. “I knew he was the walking wounded,” she said. “You didn’t see him like I did, when he thought nobody was watching. He was scared all the time. And angry. And he never really stopped hurting. He shouldn’t have been in charge. All those people dead under his watch—he couldn’t take it, Jo. It wasn’t his fault, and it’s not yours, either.”
It definitely was my fault that I’d killed him, but I didn’t argue the point. I was going to have the rest of my life to reconcile myself with that, although I wasn’t sure how much time that would be—maybe no more than a couple of hours, in which case I’d be one of those tragic tales for the ages, slain by the bad guys at the altar and taking a couple hundred innocent lives with me because I was arrogant enough to think my life was somehow so important, such a beacon for change. . . .
No. Cher was right. Hiding was wrong. Reacting the way the Sentinels wanted us to was wrong.
This might be wrong, but at least it was wrong in the right direction. Somebody had to be the symbol. I was just filling the dress.
I looked in the rearview mirror. We were being followed by black chase cars, probably federal or private security. There was a helicopter overhead, sleek and military looking, that kept the chubbier news choppers at bay by its mere presence. I couldn’t see the paparazzi, but I knew they were out there. Waiting.
“Hey,” Cher said. “You with me?”
“I’m getting married,” I said. “Jesus Christ, Cher, I’m getting married to a Djinn. What the hell am I thinking?”
She smiled. “Oh, good. You’re with me.”
The Palms was a blur: smiling faces, people saying kind things, Cherise running interference. She ensconced me in a penthouse the size of most houses, with a breathtaking ocean view, and I sat numbly on the couch, worrying. I know, most brides worry, but I had considerably more to worry about than whether or not I was going to trip over the hem of the dress I didn’t yet have.
I was worried about Rahel, first and foremost. I’d been trying hard not to think about her. I knew that David was focused on her; how could he not be? She was a friend. She was in trouble. And I felt as though I was horribly betraying her, even though I knew that tactically, we were doing the right thing.
He’ll hurt her, part of me said. He knows we’ll come if he hurts her.
It was kind of odd, actually, that he hadn’t done it yet. What if he has? What if David is hiding it from you? That wouldn’t be too hard for him to do, because I hadn’t seen him since before we’d left the FBI building. No. He’d tell you. Unless he thought I couldn’t handle the pressure.
Or unless he tore off to do something crazy, which was entirely possible.
“Hey!” Cherise snapped her fingers in front of my face. “Fashion show. Here. Have some coffee. Nod when you see something you like.”
Thus began the most surreal experience of my life, and with my life, that’s saying something. How she’d done it I have no idea, but apparently my current CNN celebrity status had upgraded me to the temporary level of an A-list star. The bridal shops hadn’t just sent dresses; they’d sent teams, with models who were fresh off Paris runways, apparently, far prettier and sleeker than I’d ever be. I felt dull and slightly nuts, even with the freshly brewed coffee sipped from a delicate china cup. The dresses ranged from something Cinderella would find too ruffly to something better suited to the wedding night than the glare of the spotlight. I mean, I’m daring, but I’m not that daring.
In the middle of the parade, a model who bore a striking resemblance to Heidi Klum (couldn’t really be Heidi Klum, could she?) entered, and for a second, I just stared, shocked. I shot Cherise a look; her mouth was curved in a triumphant smile. She’d requested that one specially, I could immediately see that.
And she was right. It was The Dress. The one that I’d bought, the one that had been ripped apart in the Sentinels’ last public attack on me.
Maybe-Heidi-Klum swept to a graceful stop in front of me, and the silk fluttered to perfect layers, slightly angled and draping to that gorgeous, dramatic train in the back. When she turned, the corseted back displayed the deep V of skin that had so entranced me the first time. Sexy, yet demure. Sophisticated, yet still startlingly innocent.
Hopeful.
“Yes,” I said. Bridal Shop Team Number Three— I’d forgotten the names; Cherise had been keeping track—high-fived one another. Maybe-Klum gave me a cool smile and rustled out, back straight, chin high. If I could look half that good in the thing . . .
Well, that took care of the dress.
Cherise did all the work, reassuring the runners-up that we still liked them and would mention them fondly. She signed a just-in-case-of-damage credit card slip, discreetly proffered by the winning team, and slipped the copy into a black leather binder.
“How much?” I asked. She shook her head sadly.
“Really, you don’t want to be asking that today,” she said. “Just go with it. Besides, we can return it unless, you know. Now. You go take a shower. We’ve got the stylist coming in forty-five minutes.”
Stylists made house calls. I was learning a lot today.
I cried in the shower, where it didn’t show. I cried about all the doubt, all the craziness. Cherise was doing a good job of keeping me moving, but this was like standing on the train tracks, watching the Heart-break Express rocket toward you. I was in the crosshairs, and I’d given up my safety to other people. Worse, I’d given up Rahel’s life to the gods of chance and fate.
I arrived on time for the stylist, who was a temperamental, gorgeous young woman with not one but two assistants, one of whom took charge of my nails while the others waded into the misery that was my hair. I closed my eyes and focused on the weather, moving in slow, peaceful waves outside the thick window. The aetheric was almost artificially calm; the Wardens were keeping their heads down, and the Ma’at had done a fantastic job of smoothing out the ups and downs of the day.
Whatever problems came about, they wouldn’t be rain-related.
I’ll skip the rest of the rituals. By four o’clock, I was laced into the dress, staring at myself in the floor-length mirror of the Palms penthouse, balanced on shoes rushed to us from one of the most exclusive boutiques.
I was seeing a stranger. My hair was up, piled in loose, sexy, complicated layers, secured with diamond pins and a veil as soft as fog. My face was my own, only perfected with expert cosmetics. The dress was, as I’d thought, exactly right.
My eyes were the only things that gave the lie to the whole illusion. They were wide, dark blue, starkly terrified.
Cherise squeezed my hand and stood next to me, sharing mirror time. She looked absolutely, deliciously adorable. “You should see Lewis,” she said. “That man was born for formal wear. I’d totally be all over him, except he’s way too tall. I have a fear of heights.”
“Thank you,” I said.
“For complimenting Lewis? Trust me, that’s a freebie.”
“No, for—for all this. For keeping me sane. I couldn’t—” My hands were shaking again. I closed my eyes and concentrated on calm. “Whatever happens, thank you. I couldn’t ask for a better friend. I love you.”
“Love you too, sweetie, but I’m not marrying you.” Cherise cocked a perfect eyebrow. “You notice I didn’t mention what David looked like.”
No, she hadn’t. That wasn’t exactly like her.
“You’ll see,” she said smugly.
There was a discreet knock on the door, and one of the incredibly intimidating security gentlemen stuck his head in to nod at Cherise.