"Loretta doesn't go?"
"She went just after she and Cadmus first got married. So she said. But now she just stays right here with him, night and day. I think she's afraid he's going to start changing the will behind her back. Oh… speaking of legal matters…" She nodded across the restaurant. Cecil and the blonde were rising from the table. "He's going to have a busy afternoon. She looks like the acrobatic type."
"Maybe she'll just lay back and let him get it over with," Rachel said.
"I know how that feels," Margie replied.
"I hope he doesn't look in our direction," Rachel said as Cecil headed for the door.
"I rather hope he does," Margie said, and as luck would have it at that very instant Cecil glanced back across the restaurant and laid eyes on them. Rachel froze, still hoping Cecil wouldn't recognize them. But Margie, murmuring oh good under her breath, raised her arm, replete with empty martini glass, above her head.
"Now look what you've done," Rachel said. "He's coming over to talk to us."
"Just don't mention Kaua'i," Margie said. "That's our little secret."
"Ladies," Cecil was saying. He'd left the blonde at the door. "I almost missed you, tucked away in the corner."
"Oh you know us," Margie said. "We're the shy, retiring types. Unlike…" she glanced back toward Cecil's girlfriend "… what's her name?"
"Ambrosina."
"Well that's a bit of a mouthful for such a precious little thing," Margie said.
Cecil glanced back at his conquest. "She is precious," he said, with surprising sincerity.
"And extremely blonde," Margie replied, without any apparent irony. "Actress, is she?"
"Model."
"Of course she is. You're helping her get started. How sweet you are."
Cecil's smile had faded. "I must get back to her," he said. He looked over at Rachel. "I heard from Mitchell this morning…" he said. "I'm sorry things aren't going well." He reached up and oh-so-lightly wrapped his hand around Rachel's wrist. "But we'll sort it all out, eh?" Rachel glanced down at his encircling fingers. He removed his hand, his manner effortlessly shifting into the paternal mode. "If there's anything you^ieed, Rachel. Anything at all, to make things easier."
"I'll be fine."
"Oh I know," he said, as though he were a doctor reassuring a dying patient. "You'll be just dandy. But if you need anything…"
"I think she gets the message, Cecil," Margie remarked.
"Yes… well, it's lovely to see you, Rachel… and Margie, always wonderful…"
"Really?"
"Really," Cecil replied, and headed back to his girlfriend, who was looking decidedly pouty.
"I think the drinking's finally catching up with me," Margie said, staring after the lawyer as he put his arm around the blonde and escorted her out.
"Why?"
"I was just looking at Cecil's face, and I thought: I wonder what he's going to look like when he's dead?"
"Oh, that's not very nice."
"Then I thought: well I just hope I'm there to find out." vn i
Rachel called Mitch that evening and told him she'd seen Cecil, pointing out that he'd broken the terms of their agreement by talking to a lawyer. Mitch protested that he hadn't been seeking legal advice. He thought of Cecil as a surrogate father, he said. They'd talked about love, not about the law; to which Rachel couldn't help but observe that she doubted Cecil knew a damn thing about love.
"Don't be mad at me," Mitchell begged. "It was a genuine mistake. I'm sorry. I know it must look like I was going behind your back, but I wasn't. I swear I wasn't."
His whining apology only irritated her further. She wanted to tell him he could take his apology and his lawyer and his whole damn family and go to hell. Instead, she found herself saying something she hadn't planned to say.
"I'm going away for a while," she told him.
The statement surprised her almost as much as it surprised Mitchell; she'd not been aware of making a decision either way about going to Kaua'i.
Mitchell asked her if she was going back home. She said no. Where then? he asked her. Just away, she said. Away from me, you mean, he said. No, she replied, I'm not running away from you.
"Well where the hell are you running?" he demanded.
There was an answer, right there on her tongue, ready to be spoken, but this time she governed herself and said nothing. It was only when the exchange with Mitchell was over, and she was sitting on the balcony, looking over the park and thinking about nothing in particular that the unspoken reply came onto her lips.
"I'm not running away," she murmured to herself, "I'm running toward something…"
She shared this thought with no one, not even Margie. It was silly, on the face of it. She was going off to an island she'd never heard of before, on the suggestion of a woman whose blood was seventy percent alcohol. There was no reason for her to be going, much less to sense any purpose in the journey. And yet she felt it, indisputably, and the feeling made her happy. So what did it matter if the source of the feeling was a mystery? She was grateful to have some measure of lightness back in her heart, and content to take the pleasure in it while it lasted. She knew from experience it could be gone without warning, like love.
Margie made all the arrangements for the trip. All Rachel had to do was be ready to leave the following Thursday, with all her business in New York done and dusted. Once she got to the island, Margie predicted, she wouldn't want to be talking on the telephone. She wouldn't even want to think about the city, or even her friends. There was a different rhythm there; a different perspective.
"I almost feel as though I have to say goodbye to the old Rachel," Margie said, "because believe me, she's not coming back."
"Now you're exaggerating," Rachel said.
"I am not," Margie said. "You'll see. The first couple of days, you'll be restless, and thinking there's nothing to do, there's nobody to gossip about. And then it'll slowly dawn on you that you don't need any of that. You'll be sitting watching the clouds on the mountains, or a whale out at sea, or just listening to the rain on the roof-oh my Lord,
Rachel, it's so beautiful when it rains-and you'll think: I don't need anything I haven't got right now."
It seemed to Rachel each time Margie talked about the place she spoke more lovingly of it.
"How many times have you been there?" she asked.
"Just twice," Margie replied. "But I should never have gone back the second time. That was a mistake. I went for the wrong reasons the second time."
"What do you mean?"
"Oh, it's a long story," Margie said. "And it's not important. You've got the first time ahead of you, and that's all that matters."
"So I get to be a virgin again," Rachel said.
"You know, honey, that's exactly right. You're going to be a virgin again."
If Rachel had entertained any last doubts about taking the trip, they evaporated once she got on the plane, settled back in her seat in the first class cabin and took a sip of champagne. Even if the island wasn't all that Margie had advertised it as being-and in truth nothing short of Eden would match up to the promises-it was still good to be going away where she wasn't known; where she could quietly and quirkily be herself.
The first leg of the journey, to Los Angeles, was unremarkable. A couple of glasses of alcohol and she began to feel pleasantly sleepy, and dozed through most of the flight. There was a two-hour stopover in Los Angeles, and she got off the plane to stretch her legs and get herself a cup of coffee. The airport was frenetic, and she watched the parade of people-rushing, sweating, tearful, frustrated-like a visitor from another world, interested but unmoved. When she got back on the plane there was a delay. A minor mechanical problem, the captain explained; nothing that would keep them on the ground for long. For once, the prediction from the flight deck was correct. After twenty, perhaps twenty-five minutes, the captain duly announced that the flight was now ready for departure. Rachel stayed awake for the second flight. A little tick of anticipation had begun in her. She found herself turning over in her head things that Margie had said about the island and the house. What was it she'd said at the lunch table? Something about it being a place where magic still happened, miracles still happened?