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I figured it was a very fine peregrine falcon—

Not only a beautiful bird but valuable,

Unless it died.

I swore,

“Don’t you fucking dare die.”

When Pa saw me, saw the bird, he exclaimed,

“A bird?”

I nodded.

He gently took the creature from me, laid it on his vet’s table, pulled on thick gloves.

I began to ask him...

His hand shot up, he said,

“Don’t talk,”

I didn’t.

For ten minutes, he worked on the bird, having given it a shot to calm it. I could have done with some of it. Pa made sounds like

“Um, ah, I see, well, well, who knew?”

Finally, he finished, and the bird seemed to be sleeping. He said,

“It’s a peregrine falcon. It has been shot by some sick bastard but this is a full-grown bird and, I’d say, rare enough in these parts. How did you get it?”

I told him.

He rummaged in a drawer, produced a bottle of brandy, poured two, asked,

“What will you do with it?”

I wanted Jameson but, in a bind, drank, said,

“I think you should keep it.”

He gave a short harsh laugh, said,

“You’re even madder than ever.”

I was thinking I might be a wee bit offended, asked,

“What on earth would I do with a falcon?”

He said,

“There’s a guy I know, not well but enough, his name is Keefer. His name is from his years as roadie for the Rolling Stones. He also moonlit, so to speak, as a film extra and, while on the movie The Falcon and the Snowman, in trade for Stones tickets he got to hang with the film’s falconer and the rest, as they say, is, if not history, at least notable. A Scot, I think, lives out in the country, eccentric, so you should get on. He is supposedly one of the best falconers but he’s very...”

Paused.

“Hard-core.”

I had no idea what that meant so pushed,

“Will he take the bird?”

Pa got a large cage, gently laid the sleeping bird in there, said,

“I’ll call him and should have an answer in a day or two. I’ll keep it until then but be prepared.”

“For what?”

He sighed.

“If — and that’s a big if — he agrees to see you, you’d better pack for a few weeks’ stay.”

I was sure he was kidding, asked,

“Why on earth would I do that. He can keep the falcon, no charge, valuable bird, he should be grateful.”

Pa laughed, said,

“It will take some serious training.”

I said with relief,

“He can train the bird for months, good luck to them.”

Pa, and I swear I saw devilment in his eyes, said,

“Not the bird, you.”

Did I still even like the Stones?

Well, I could fake it,

Couldn’t I?

Back at my apartment, I found an old Stones album, played it.

I had a book on rock myths, flicked through it, came across this:

“Mick Taylor is the only one to leave the Stones and live.”

How encouraging was that?

34

Deoch

    An

       Doras

(The Parting Gift)

Few sayings in Irish have been interpreted in so many different ways.

There are those who see it simply as a gift of farewell;

Others, the optimists probably, who believe it’s a blessing;

And those of us,

From the dark,

Who know it to be the ultimate curse.

As I prepared to leave my note for Jericho, I felt rage of biblical size, but after a large Jay, two Xanax, I felt sufficiently detached or, more to the point, in that part of my mind that is icy cold, a zone where nothing lives save sheer homicide.

If I was going to spend time with the eccentric falconer, I needed to put some plans in place:

1. Deal with Alice.

2. Leave a letter for Jericho for when she next housebroke.

3. Respect the passing of Maeve.

4. Buy supplies for my time away.

Finding Alice, I was supposed to be a detective of sorts, so I found her.

She was in the phone book.

Go figure.

Either stupidity or arrogance.

I watched her for six days and, on the seventh night, caught up with her as she staggered to her flat, the worse for wear drinkwise.

I said,

“Maeve sends her love.”

I did what I had to do.

And

  I

   Did

     It

      With

        Slow

          Measured

              Deliberation.

The second week, I had Liam Garvey of the gift shop on Shop Street cut me a scroll of ogham on slate.

Ogham is one of the oldest of alphabets.

The word for love, Gra,

Is like a cross, with seven horizontal lines, and is read from the bottom up.

I took it to the Circle of Life Garden in Salthill.

Founded in 2014 to commemorate the organ donors whose giving has saved countless lives, it is a haven of beautiful peace. You take some water from the well that is hundreds of years old, then stroll on and reach a lake where a steel heron rises from the water.

It is staggeringly beautiful.

I placed the ogham for Maeve in the water and said a silent

Hail Mary.

I said it in Irish.

It begins

Ar mhathair.

On my way out, I met

Stephen and Ann Shine, the sort of Galwegians who make you glad you live in this city. Just that rarity: lovely, warm spirit.

In town, I bought some parchment, the real deal, and the quill pen to seal the deal. Thought about getting red wax as the seal for the document but, hey,

“Don’t be showy.”

Pa rang to say Keefer had collected the falcon and would collect me on Friday.

Instructed that

I was to be sure to bring supplies.

I thought,

“Oh, how I love to be instructed.”

Especially by some half-arsed hippie drug casualty.

And then I said, unreasonably,

“Fucking nerve of him to take my falcon.”

My mind responded.

“Not your bird,”

I think.

I sat down, opened a bottle of Jay, thought about Jericho.

Emerald, my former nemesis, had been a ruthless psychopath but something,

Some weird, bizarre, fucked-up mind thing, still lingered in that

I liked her.

A lot.

Now Jericho was just a poor man’s Emerald. She never shone.

I had recently read New Yorker profiles of famous people:

Writers

Movie folk

Celebrities

By John Lahr.

The piece on Roseanne Barr described Jericho perfectly:

... her face and her presence have no luster.

Without makeup her definition is muted and vague, her face has little mobility.

Despite her intelligence and authority, there is something cadaverous about Roseanne,

A deadness that only rage and combat can banish.