On the verge of going outside to claim her, he finally heard Virginia’s car start up. Thirty-four years, he’d been as cool a fuck as they came. Now, he couldn’t even begin to act like he wasn’t waiting for his wife.
She stepped inside and he was about to go all Neanderthal on her again when he saw something that shook him: She looked like she’d been crying.
“What’s wrong?”
She looked up at him, her eyes wide with surprise at both his question and the fact that he’d practically jumped over the couch to take her into his arms. Studying her carefully, he didn’t see any tear tracks, but her eyes were glassy.
“Something happened to upset you. Tell me what it is.”
The last thing he expected was for her to smile at him. “You always tell me how sweet I am, but you really are the sweet one.” She went up on her toes and kissed him softly.
That one kiss had his cock growing from the hard he always was around her to downright uncomfortable behind his zipper. He needed to get her naked and taste her, take her, fuck her until they were both sweaty and panting. But even that, he was starting to understand, couldn’t ease his need for her—or ease the strange ache in his chest.
Besides, he knew he had a bad habit of throwing her over his shoulder and ripping her clothes off within thirty seconds of her walking into a room.
“Tell me about your day, sweetheart.”
“It was crazy.”
She nestled into his chest and, sweet Lord, he wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold out on the urge to take her upstairs and strip her down. He wanted to take her, Jesus, he’d never wanted it so bad, but he wanted to hold her just as bad.
Worse, maybe.
He was about to lift her into his arms when his too-thick brain finally clicked into gear.
“Crazy?” Was this why she’d been on the verge of tears? “What happened?”
“We didn’t do word puzzles today.”
He loved the feel of her soft curves against him, the vanilla scent of his shampoo on her hair, the sweet smell of her feminine heat. None of that, however, gave him the barest hint of what the hell she was talking about.
“You were crying over word puzzles?”
She pulled back just enough to look at him, her confusion mirroring his. “No. Why would I cry over word puzzles?”
“Hell if I know. I don’t even know what word puzzles are.”
Her smile was cute and sexy all at once as comprehension dawned. “My kids couldn’t stop asking me questions about you. That’s why we had to skip a few things today.” She bit her lip, looked away. “I hope you don’t mind, but they were all hoping you’d sign a few things for them. I wouldn’t normally ask, but they’re such big fans and—”
He stilled her excuses and apologies with a finger over her soft lips. “I love kids.”
Relief swept over her pretty face—along with another emotion that had his gut tightening. “You do?”
“Yes. I do. Tomorrow when I drop you off, why don’t I come in and sign them in person?”
Her eyes lit up. “My kids are going to be beside themselves. Although I’m pretty sure we’re going to end up skipping word puzzles again.”
“How about we do word puzzles first, autographs second?”
“Oh Cole, you’re only making me feel worse about the other thing I have to ask you.”
She frowned. “I hate putting you in this position, so much I can’t even tell you. But there’s this fundraiser coming up soon and the district had been short of funds lately and—”
“Of course I’ll do it.”
As she looked up at him with surprise, he had to wonder, had anyone ever been this beautiful?
“You don’t even know what my principal wants you to do.”
“Will you be there with me doing whatever it is?”
“Yes, of course. I wouldn’t throw you to the wolves like that. Not for anyone or any reason.”
“Did you ever think for one second I wouldn’t help you?”
“Of course not. I just felt so bad about the way my school is using your fame.”
“You have nothing to feel bad about, sweetheart. Nothing at all.”
“I don’t get it.” Another frown came, this one deeper. “You’re so great. You shouldn’t have had to go out looking for me—looking for a wife to bring to your grandmother. You should already have been married with kids.”
She was looking at him so intently, it was almost as if she was trying to see all the way into his soul for the answers.
“Other people don’t see me like you do.”
All they saw was football and money—and what they could get from him.
“Then they’re all wrong.” She reached up, ran her fingers through his hair. “And stupid.”
She pressed her free palm against his chest. “And blind. Crazy blind.”
Jesus, he’d never wanted anything, anyone, as much as he wanted the woman in his arms, her ocean eyes so wide and loving.
Loving.
A sharp pang nicked him in the center of his chest, knocking loose a memory from his childhood. One of hundreds of afternoons he’d watched his friends’ parents come and pick them up from school while he walked alone to the bus. He’d loved his grandmother more than anyone in the world, but he’d wanted a mom and a dad so bad that sometimes he almost hated her.
Almost as if she’d taken their place, as though if she were gone then maybe they’d come back and he’d be whole.
And now, here he was, wanting a real wife just as bad as he’d wanted a real family back then. Fucking longing nearly tearing him apart again, nearly breaking him, the way it had tried to break him when he was a kid.
Didn’t she know he hadn’t gone looking for love? Or forever?
Anna was supposed to be temporary.
Not forever.
He wasn’t supposed to want her to stay forever.
Good thing he knew exactly what to do, exactly how to make it seem like he didn’t care.
“No, baby,” he forced himself to say, “they’re right. I’m not the wife and kids type.”
He waited for her to push out of his arms, to walk away, to cry. Instead, she simply blinked at him. “Why aren’t you?”
He was hit with another picture of himself as a kid, scrawny and smaller than the other boys in his class, a little kid who had to learn early how to protect himself.
Every day on the field, he practiced the defensive plays he’d learned as a kid. Protecting his back had helped get him where he was today.
He wasn’t going make the mistake of dropping his guard. Not for anyone.
Not even for Anna.
“Some people want those things. Some don’t.”
Her eyes darkened, a storm rising over the ocean. “Okay.” Her voice was measured. Too measured. “I’ve got another question for you.”
He tensed, waiting for her to push him, waiting for her to try and force him to admit what he was feeling for her. Women had done a lot of desperate things over the years to try and bind him to them. Fake pregnancies. Crying. Begging. None of it had worked even the slightest bit. In fact, he’d only ended up losing what little respect he’d had for them.
“Are you done showing me crazy?”
Jesus, what had she just said? Was she talking about sex when every other woman would have been trying to yank out his heart?
“You don’t want to go upstairs with me right now.” His cock twitched behind his zipper even as he warned her, the words hard, low, raw.
He couldn’t trust himself with her. Not when he wanted too damn much. Not when he wanted things a man like him had no right to want from a woman like her.