"Well, yeah. Now," Gabe said, "I figure a million dollars in gold…"
The captain blinked. "A million dollars?"
"… should weigh in at about two and a half ton. Will the San Andreas carry that much weight?"
The captain considered the question, then shook his head. "To be absolutely truthful with you," he said, "I really don't know."
"The thing is," Gabe said, "we wouldn't want it to sink with all that gold on board."
"I can see that," the captain said.
Gabe scowled, frowning toward the middle distance. "If there was only some way to test it," he said. "Get two and a half ton of something else on board ahead of time, and see if she kept on floating."
"That would be very good," the captain said.
"Hmmmmmm," Gabe said.
Francis said, "Old cock, I might have a small suggestion."
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Ittzy sat in a chair in the center of a big square that was roped off to keep the people from crowding too close to him.
It was on the afterdeck of the San Andreas. People were swarming aboard to stare at him. Ittzy stared right back. He was getting sick and tired of all this. With the money they were going to get out of the Mint he'd never have to put up with this kind of attention again.
They had come down to the waterfront in the morning and met Captain Flagway at the dock. Flagway had the physiognomy of a bassett hound anyhow and this morning his eyes were bloodshot and he walked around very carefully balancing his head on top of his neck as if it were about to fall off. Ittzy had never been drunk enough to get hung over and he didn't want to try, judging by the examples he'd seen in the past fifteen years in San Francisco.
When they had arrived at the ship in the cold morning light Gabe had looked at it again and made a sickly face and remarked, "You know I get the feeling the only thing keeping that tub on top of the water is some sandbar it's sitting on. I mean, for God's sake look at it, it's got barnacles growing on top of the barnacles."
Francis had said, "Oh, I don't know, old cock, she doesn't look all that dismal to me."
Vangie had said, "I still don't understand this idea of yours."
"My dear, it's simplicity itself. The problem being how do we get two and a half tons aboard the San Andreas to test her, without breaking our dear old backs."
"But how does putting Ittzy in a chair on the deck solve that problem?"
"By inducing two and a half tons of human flesh to walk on board the ship, my dear Vangie."
Captain Flagway was keeping them moving right along behind the rope barrier. At the head of the gangplank Vangie was taking the one-dollar-a-head admission charge. And down on the dock at the foot of the plank, Gabe and Francis were counting heads as the gawkers arrived.
It was a nice sunny morning. If it hadn't been for all the people staring at him, Ittzy would have enjoyed sunning himself in the mild balmy breeze on deck. He glanced past the people toward the signs they had put up-lettered in Francis's fine hand-at the head of the dock, announcing that for one day only Ittzy "Good Luck Charm" Herz could be visited on board. Now the crowd on the ship was steadily growing. The idea was to get fifty people on board all at once. Gabe and Vangie had sat down and worked it out with pencils; they figured forty people would weigh about the same as the gold, and the other ten people would equal the weight of the crew they were going to have to find to man the ship.
Ittzy watched Vangie and Gabe and Francis and the captain and he smiled. He had grown to like his new friends.
Down on the pier Gabe called out, "Sorry folks, that's all for today. We don't want to exhaust Mr. Herz, now do we. Visiting day's over. Sorry about that, my friend, but better luck next time…" He was putting up the chain across the foot of the plank. Some of them were grumbling but gradually they began to turn away.
So there must be fifty people aboard.
The gawking faces were, at least, friendlier than just an eyeball at a time in a knothole.
Then he noticed somebody was starting to bellow and yell down on the pier. He looked that way again, and it was the people who hadn't been allowed on board. They were raising a ruckus, refusing to take no for an answer.
They were crowding forward toward the gangplank. Ittzy heard Gabe's voice raised in protest, trying to head them off, but it wasn't working; a ruckus was starting and it looked ready to assume the proportions of a general brawl. Slowly Gabe and Francis were giving way under the onslaught, and the brawl worked its way up the gangplank. The ship was about to be overloaded for sure.
And here came Mama.
Ittzy could see her, flanked by Officer McCorkle, thundering along the pier like the transcontinental express.
Ittzy got to his feet. He didn't feel that danger threatened-he never felt that danger threatened-but it did seem as though, between the brawl and Mama, life was going to get uncomfortable pretty soon. And on such a sunny day, too.
Vangie and Captain Flagway had both come closer to him now, and flanked him, one on each side. The customers were fighting one another all over the place, and both Gabe and Francis were completely lost to view.
Mama was almost to the foot of the gangplank, coming along the pier at full speed with Officer McCorkle in her wake and brawlers scooting out of her path as though she were a fire engine.
Ittzy, pointing, said, "That's my Mama."
Vangie clutched his arm. She seemed very nervous. "We'll hide you," she said.
"My, yes," said Captain Flagway. "We'll hide you and stay with you." He seemed in a big hurry to help Ittzy get away from all this, and Ittzy felt immediate gratitude.
The three of them went through a narrow hatchway and down a steep flight of narrow steps-more ladder than staircase-closing the hatch behind them, shutting out the sunlight and some of the noise of the fighting. There were barrels lying around in the semidarkness, so they righted three of those and sat on them to wait things out.
It was dank and foul down here, below decks. Ittzy was about to say that maybe things weren't so bad up above after all when Vangie put a quick finger across his lips and said, "Ssshh. You don't want your Mama to find you here."
No, he didn't. He was also totally undone by the sensation of Vangie's finger actually touching his lips. He whispered, "Uh," three times, rolled his eyes, gulped and remained silent.
Overhead the brawl thumped and thundered. Voices shouted in rage. Someone fired a shot. Vangie cocked her head and said, "That sounds like Gabe's knuckle-duster. Maybe it'll scare them off."
Ittzy listened to the racket with his eyes tight shut. Oh please don't let Mama find me down here. He thought again of all that gold. Freedom.
"Somebody's coming," the captain said softly.
"Shhhhhh," Vangie said.
Footsteps. Up above, the shrilling of police whistles and the stomp of boots on deck.
The bulkhead door opened slowly. Ittzy didn't open his eyes; he buried his face in his hands. If Mama caught him now, here like this, she'd chain him into that peephole room and throw the key away.