Leah opened her mouth to answer, but Lady Chesterfield beat her to it. “Of course she is, Your Grace. I was just telling my dear niece about your new phaeton. It sounds lovely.”
If Leah didn’t know better, she could have sworn Lady Chesterfield had just fluttered her lashes at the duke. Leah stared harder. Nope, no question. Definite lash fluttering.
The duke laughed softly. “Yes, Miss Ram. I fear I have been frightfully rude in boring your aunt with such talk.”
“Rubbish, dear Duke.” Lady Chesterfield tapped his arm flirtily with her fan. “I have been most entertained.”
An extended silence fell. Leah glanced first at Lady Chesterfield, whose cheeks held high spots of color, then over to the duke, who was looking directly at the baroness.
Well, damn.
Leah cleared her throat gently. “If you’ll excuse me, I think I’d like some lemonade before the music starts up again.”
“Oh, Miss Ram, I would love to take you and your charming guardian for a ride through the park tomorrow if you are both amenable.”
Leah tossed a wan glance at Lady Chesterfield, whose eagerly nodding head reminded her of those creepy tree spirits from Princess Mononoke. She’d had nightmares for months after watching that movie.
“I’d be glad to,” she said quietly.
“Of course you may go, dearest. But I am afraid I have a prior engagement, so I will be unable to join you.”
The duke’s face fell almost imperceptibly. “I see. Well, Miss Ram, we are to be a pair. I look forward to it then. I shall come ’round and fetch you on the morrow.”
Taking Lady Chesterfield’s hand, he bowed low over it, brushing her gloved knuckles with a light kiss. He repeated the gesture with Leah, who winced a little at the intimate contact. It was like hugging someone else’s grandpa.
“I bid you good evening.” He smiled at them again as he straightened.
“Good evening.” Leah returned the expression despite the acid churning in her throat. Lord, what she wouldn’t do for a Tums right now.
Lord Granville left then, even though the evening had only just begun. Leah was confused, but not sorry to see him go. It didn’t look like the duke wanted Lady Chesterfield to shove Leah at him any more than Leah did herself. In fact, it seemed that the duke would much rather spend time with Leah’s chaperone than with Leah herself.
The rest of the musicale was sort of anticlimactic after that. The music wasn’t bad, and with everyone distracted, Leah was pretty much left to her own devices. She darted glance after glance out the window, hoping for a glimpse of Avery, an answer to why he’d acted so strangely and what had happened to him, but he was nowhere to be seen. She even sneaked onto the balcony once more, sprinting to the nearly naked Greek statue she’d seen him behind before, but he wasn’t there.
Sighing, she slumped against the cold marble.
What was with him? And for that matter, what was with her?
She looked up at the stars, brighter here than she’d ever seen them at home. It was strange that despite the advanced technology of her time, she hadn’t ever seen the heavens like they were here.
The twinkling lights above didn’t offer her any answers. Bastards.
“What do I do?” Her lonely whisper faded into the darkness. A raindrop kissed her cheek, then another her neck. She turned back to the house, her steps leaden.
How could she disappoint Lady Chesterfield? How could she let her chaperone push her toward the duke when she might have feelings for Avery?
The marble stairs were slick with raindrops, so she gripped the handrail tightly. At the top, she turned her palm over. Her glove was damp, dingy now with the dirt of the rail. His hand had been wet too, but with blood.
She let her lids slide closed and focused on dismantling the knot that had lodged in her throat. It wouldn’t budge no matter what she tried.
Nineteen
The next day dawned sunny and warmer, which should have made Leah happy. It didn’t. She paced in the drawing room, wearing a carriage dress of powder blue that matched her eye color almost perfectly. Even the gorgeous costume couldn’t pierce her melancholy armor. She glared at her reflection every time she passed the mirror behind the settee.
“You’re a coward, Ramsey. An ungrateful and idiotic bitch.”
Her “pep talk” didn’t do much for her self-esteem or her confusion, so she gave it up and flopped down sideways on a wingback chair in the corner, legs draped over the arm. Worrying the inside of her cheek, she stared at the ceiling and concentrated on breathing deeply. Maybe extra oxygen would clear the fuzz from her brain.
A noise at the door grabbed her attention. A dark-haired maid toting a bucket and a broom had entered the room and ground to a halt at the sight of Leah.
“Oh, I apologize.” The maid blushed as she stammered, hands fumbling on the broom handle. “I did not know you were here.”
Leah smiled encouragingly at the girl. Man, did she ever understand how the maid felt. “Don’t worry about me. Do what you need to do.”
“I couldn’t, miss. ’Tis no trouble.” She started backing out the door.
Leah’s feet hit the floor. “It’s cool, come on. I could use someone to talk to.”
Though her face was wary, the maid set her bucket by the hearth and began sweeping the ashes. Déjà vu slammed into Leah. Such a short time ago, she’d been in this girl’s position. How amazingly things had changed.
“I’m sorry, I don’t remember your name.”
“Eliza, miss,” the maid said as she dumped a load of ash into the bucket.
“Can I ask you a question, Eliza?” Leah rubbed the brocade fabric of the chair arm as she spoke. The nubby texture was soothing somehow, and boy did she need something soothing. As soon as she got back home, she was going to book a two-hour massage.
“Of course, miss.” Eliza turned from the hearth, her face a giant question mark. It was probably weird for her to be approached like this.
Oh well, let’s get it done.
“If you were supposed to be with someone, but you weren’t sure about them, what would you do?”
Eliza shook her head, mobcap flopping. “I do not understand, miss.”
Leah stood and ticked off points with her fingers. “Okay. Say you’re part of an arranged marriage. Your parents, your guardian, everyone you know expects you to love this guy. But you know he’s not the right one for you. In fact, he’s perfect for someone else, but they don’t see it at all, and they want you to marry him too. What do you do?”
Eliza resumed her sweeping as she replied, “I shouldn’t want to disappoint everyone. I should wed him.”
Leah’s brows lifted. “Even if you thought you might have feelings for someone else?”
Eliza lifted the bucket full of spent ash and faced Leah with a matter-of-fact expression. “If I were so lucky as to be promised to a man of standing, then I should wed him. There are not many so lucky in the world, miss.”
Leah’s damp palms slid down her skirt. “I see. Thanks for your answer.”
“My pleasure, miss.” Eliza nodded. “May I fetch something for you before I go?”
“No, I’m fine.”
Eliza bobbed a quick curtsy and took her bucket from the room.
Leah’s heart thudded against her rib cage and she resumed her pacing. Okay. She could do this. Open mind, keen observation, and level head. For the moment, she had to play the part and get to know the duke. Lady Chesterfield would expect it. But while she did it, she’d be thinking, planning. She’d find some way to fix this.
She ground to a halt and glared at the ceiling. Damn it, why did Avery’s stupid face keep popping into her head at the most inconvenient times? Stupid, handsome, silent face.