Now he was opening the Bond to his own memories in return. The image flashed against the back of her eye, a curious double recollection of what he had seen and what she had. He had been the child hiding and observing when he should not. She had been the young novice still hitting her stride, but asked to do the impossible when other older heads were unavailable. It was the nightmare that chased her harder than any other.
Lord Starlyche had been a good man, and she had been unable to save him. Her breath seemed frozen in her chest as she recalled the creature she had glimpsed briefly on the stairs of the castle; a vast five-clawed hand reaching out from the Otherside, awash in a tide of swirling geists like moths clustered around a bright flame. Starlyche had been the foci of the attack, but even so, she could have saved him. Her inexperience had caught up with her, reaching for the wrong rune, just a heartbeat mistake, and the backlash had alerted the creature to her attack. In its fury it had tried to reach her through any means possible, and had killed its physical link in the process. The Lord had died, and not quickly or cleanly.
And her partner that day—he had seen it too. Probably more.
“Garil?” Her voice broke, as if she were once more standing on the stairs, covered in the blood of the man she’d been sent to save. The remembered taste of iron and bile flooded into her mouth.
“It waits.” The old man would not meet her gaze, instead staring into the fire, his expression like soft clay. She recognized it too—somehow the old man’s talents had extended beyond the strictures of the Order and were now venturing into the future. “It and many like it have been growing in the depths of the Otherside. So alone, and ready to return. They hunger for the light.” He turned and looked at all three of them through eyes that burned white. “And they need you. Together.”
“The Body.” His finger lanced out in her direction.
“The Beast”—toward Raed now.
“The Blood.” Merrick flinched as if he’d been struck.
The image of her partner strapped to the draining table flashed in her memory. Sorcha began to feel sweat on her brow, a sick knot clenching deep in her belly. “Holy Bones!” She clapped a hand to her mouth. “What have I done?” she muttered past her fingers.
Realization was sliding into place, the pieces tumbling into recognizable shapes in her head. The Bond she’d forged with all three of them—she’d thought it had been her idea, a convenience to harness the power of the Rossin.
“Sorcha”—Merrick’s face was bone pale—“you gave them what they wanted.”
“Would you both have a conversation normal people can follow?” Raed, leaning against the mantel, was not Deacon-trained; he could no more feel the Bond she had woven around him than he could feel moonlight on his skin. She hadn’t thought it would matter; Sorcha could dismiss it quickly enough once he no longer needed to fear the Curse. He would never need to know. How many times had she said that to herself?
“Tell him!” Merrick rose to his feet, a deep frown etched on skin that had seldom known such an expression. “By the Bones, Sorcha!” He seldom cursed either.
She struggled. Raed was looking between the Deacons, puzzled but not yet angry—there was still time for that. The Bond was still fresh. It could be undone, and then everything would be all right. Reaching out, she clasped Raed’s hand as if in a loving gesture, but at the same time desperately reached for the tendrils of the Bond. It should be easy to dispel a Bond formed only days ago—a simple matter that he wouldn’t even feel.
Her power yanked at the strands of empathy and awareness, and Raed fell to the floor howling in agony. Dropping to her knees beside the writhing Pretender, Sorcha knew that there was no chance he was still ignorant, but the Bond—she had to get rid of the Bond or he would never forgive her. She pulled harder at the coil of connection between them.
It was now hurting her. Thousands of little flames burst to life in her muscle and sinew as her body reacted to the power. It was like having barbed wire wrapped around her bones, and pulling. Dimly, Sorcha heard Merrick’s indrawn breath as it burned him too. But Raed would never understand; he would never . . .
The icy thrust of Merrick’s control stopped her like a slap to the face. Stop it—stop it now! You’re ripping us apart! His voice—his actual voice—thrust into her mind like a knife of steel.
She fell back with a yelp. Sorcha might have thought that was the worst of it, Merrick yelling directly into her mind like a man possessed, but it wasn’t. The worst was the look on Raed’s face.
It should not have mattered. The look of betrayal in his eyes, hard and glittering like a dread stone, should have made not one iota of difference to a Deacon. She’d used plenty of people before—the Order’s work sometimes required toughness. However, this was different. Her breath caught in her dry throat and her hands clenched tight. Raed, tell me I have not ruined what we have.
“What we had?” he snapped, giving his head a firm shake and glaring at all of the Deacons with equal vigor. “What have you done to me?”
“It is the Bond,” Merrick answered for Sorcha, who could not find the words. “She managed to forge a Bond with you as well as with any Deacon. It should not be possible with a normal person, but you are hardly normal—”
Sorcha fell back on her defenses, and sharply cut in, “You wanted the Rossin controlled. He is controlled.”
Raed swore and turned away to glare into the fire. “He may be, for the moment, but if you think he can be used as your weapon, you may find him more wily than you think. I have lived with him inside me . . . I know him better than you.”
His voice was full of such contempt, Sorcha had to try to reach him. “You don’t understand. They manipulated me to do this,” she replied desperately. “I think the whole situation was all about getting you there; the sea monster, the Priory, even the possession of the children.”
“Then why did they try and kill us in the tunnel?”
“I think they hoped it would drive me to make the Bond—and they were right.”
“But the Rossin could have killed you.” Raed looked at her from under drawn brows. “How could they know you would do any such thing?”
Her natural instincts were to hug him, kiss him—but they were long past that point. She stiffened. “They must have studied me.” She shook her head. “I don’t know how else . . .”
“You have no idea what you are dealing with, Little Red,” Garil whispered, “but young Merrick does. He knows, like I do—like all Sensitives do . . .”
This was what Actives whispered about Sensitives. When Actives went off to learn of their runes, they wondered what the Sensitives were learning of theirs. While everyone could see exactly what the ten Active runes were, the Sensitives kept theirs to themselves, never discussing them—even with their partners. Most Actives dismissed whatever their partners could do as merely different versions of their own lesser Sight, but Sorcha had always been curious about the Strop. It was much more seldom used than the Gauntlets. Unlike her gloves, it was dangerous for anyone but another Sensitive to touch a Strop while its user was still alive.
“Do you know why they want us Bonded, Merrick?” she asked quietly.
His jaw clenched and he looked up at her through his brown hair, almost feral for an instant. “Yes.”
Across the Bond she felt nothing but blankness, as if he had slammed a door shut on her. She needed a smoke. She needed a strong drink. What she didn’t need was to find this out just when the Murashev was looming on the horizon.
She wanted to smash something, hurt someone, let some of this building frustration and upset out. Unfortunately, Garil’s retired quarters were only lightly furnished; she kicked the fire grate instead, sending burning wood embers scattering along the length of the fireplace and bouncing logs out of their orderly stack.