He held his breath with a mischievous smile and then glanced at me again, seeming hesitant to tell me. He rolled his eyes and said, “I am a talent agent. I represent mostly TV journalists…news anchors and reporters and we handle things like contract negoti-ations for them and we also do some consulting for the news stations.”
“That sounds exciting, actually. So, you represent people like Katie Couric?” I asked.
Cedric laughed. “Kind of like her…but not her, yeah. It can be exciting at times. But it’s really quite a cutthroat business.” 112/727
“How so?” I was curious.
“Well, sometimes you have clients who are both competing for the same job and you have to make both believe that you’re in their corner, otherwise, you could stand to lose them, but you also want one of them to get the gig, because the agent gets a commission on their salary. And then there’s the consulting end of things, where you basically walk into these TV stations and tell management everything they’re doing wrong…which reporter needs to lose weight…which anchor-man is getting too old to relate to the target audience…that sort of stuff,” Cedric said as he looked over at me for a response.
“You’re right. It does sound kind of nasty,” I smiled.
He nodded his head in agreement and we both laughed. “Yeah.”
I continued to ask him questions about his job over the next several minutes.
That turned into my telling stories about 113/727
some of the characters that come into the diner. We laughed a lot and it was so easy to talk to him.
Then, at one point, neither of us said anything for about a minute. He licked his lips again and I turned away embarrassed suddenly when he seemed to catch me staring at his mouth.
Breaking the silence, I spoke up.
“You’re going to want to take exit 32, by the way, to get to my house.”
I glanced down at my watch willing the time to stop going so fast. I wished I lived farther away. I wanted to stay in this car forever with him.
“Great. So, do you live alone?” Cedric asked.
“No, actually, I live with Sonia…the waitress who took your order today? She and I met through Craigslist. She was looking for a roommate and thankfully it worked out.
She and I get along really well.” 114/727
“You’re lucky she wasn’t a murderer if you were looking for roommates on Craigslist.”
We both laughed. “No kidding.” After a bit more silence, Cedric turned the heat down and looked at me. “I hope I am not prying, but you mentioned you were adopted? Did you grow up here in Boston?”
“Yes. I have always lived here. My mother adopted me when she was in her mid-forties. She had always wanted a child, but never married and so, she took things in-to her own hands. She was really lucky, since in those days, single parent adoptions were rare. But Mom was a professional and made a good living for the city with good benefits and they had no reason to deny her.”
“What does your mother do?” he asked.
“Well, she worked for the mayor’s office before she retired. She passed away about a year ago.”
115/727
The look on Cedric’s face turned suddenly sullen and he was briefly silent before letting out a deep breath that made me shudder.
“Oh, I am so sorry, Allison. I lost my father…I know how hard it is,” he said frowning.
My heart hurt that he had endured losing a parent too. “Thanks. I was an only child. So, it’s been tough,” I said fighting back watery eyes.
Cedric looked at me and then turned away staring ahead in silence at the road.
The expression on his face showed that he seemed genuinely affected by my revelation that I was essentially alone.
He turned to me again. “Allison…you don’t have any other extended family?” Well, my aunt Irene…I call her Reeni…lives in upstate New York. She has a son, but he is a bit of an ass clown…Cousin Arthur,” I said rolling my eyes.
116/727
Cedric’s head rolled back as he shook with laughter at my use of that term. “Good old cousin Arthur the ass clown…I love it.” He was cracking up and had such a deep smooth laugh. It was the first time I heard it.
I
was
laughing
as
well
now.
“Yes…cousin Arthur. He’s thirty-five, has in-curable acne and spends most of his days playing video games and chatting online with other Trekkies. This is my next of kin. He works in a comic book shop part-time and mooches off my aunt the other times. So, essentially, I am indeed alone, although I have some wonderful friends, so I never feel it, really.”
“Well, that’s good. I am glad to hear it.” Cedric smiled.
“Um…the exit is coming up next.” I pointed to the green highway sign that showed we were a quarter of a mile from my neighborhood. I was bummed that this was 117/727
coming to an end. It’s not like I could invite him inside.
Could I? God, I wanted to.
Cedric pulled off the highway and I directed him down the side streets of Malden.
I pointed. “Turn left here, this is my street.”
“Nice little neighborhood you have here,” he said, looking out the window.
“Yes, it’s very family-oriented, so it’s pretty safe. You can park right here,” I said, pointing to the space in front of the green two-family house that I lived in on the second floor.
Cedric pulled into the space, put the car in park and then surprised me when he turned the car off completely. There were no moving cars on the street and it was quiet except for the sound of a train horn in the distance.
118/727
We both just sat in silence for several seconds and then he turned to me. The streetlights were shining on his blue eyes which were now glowing. He seemed like he wanted to say something and we stared at each other before Cedric spoke. “I hope this isn’t too personal, but do you know anything about where you came from?” That caught me off guard. “You mean my biological parents?” I asked.
Cedric nodded tenderly looking into my eyes and whispered, “Yeah.” His question surprised me, being that we had just met, but I felt comfortable enough with him to be open.
I shook my head. “I don’t know anything, actually. Mom always said it was a closed adoption, so it would be very difficult to find her or…them. I never really tried to find anything out. I never wanted to hurt Mom’s feelings and truthfully, in my eyes, 119/727
she was my real mother in every way. I never knew anything else.”
That was the truth. I had no desire to meet the person or people that gave me away. My mother was everything to me and I never felt slighted until the day she died.
Cedric looked down at his shoes pondering my response and looked back up at me, his eyes seemingly staring into my soul.
“Do you feel differently about it now that she’s gone?”
I broke from his intense gaze, looked at the ceiling of the car and thought about that for a moment. “I haven’t really given it much thought to be honest. Mom’s only been gone a little over a year. But no…I think my birth mother or birth parents probably would have found me by now if they were interested…and if they never wanted to find me, then I certainly don’t want to look for them. So, I think I’ll continue to leave well 120/727
enough alone. Hopefully, someday I’ll start my own family, you know?”
Cedric nodded slowly, soaking in my answer then said in a low voice, “I am sure you’ll make a wonderful Mom someday.” Chills ran down my spine at the sound of his soothing voice saying words that evoked so much emotion in me. I secretly wished he were right and that by some miracle of my imagination, he could be the one to give that to me someday. My feelings for him were growing by the nanosecond. It was strange to feel so close to someone I had just met.
“Thank you for that.” I smiled and was hopeful that we could drop the subject of my history. I have never been fully comfortable discussing it. Bringing up the subject of my birth parents is something I have always avoided. Talking about it seems to demean in some way the only true mother I have ever known. I could never fathom how a mother 121/727
could give up her baby as easily as my birth mother must have given me up as a newborn.
I decided to change the subject. “I can’t believe all these years we lived in the same city and never crossed paths,” I said.
Cedric laughed, his eyes now turning mischievous. He looked down and shook his head. “I think that might be a relief on my end. I was a bit of a punk growing up. You wouldn’t have liked me then.”