Come on, let’s head back out.” Stephanie was still talking Cedric’s ear off when Caleb and I returned to the yard.
At the sound of the sliding glass door, Cedric turned around looked at me and then to Caleb inquisitively. I wondered if he knew we were inside talking. Denise didn’t seem fazed and I have a feeling she knew exactly what Caleb had been up to in cornering me.
My heart clenched when I looked over and saw Stephanie running her fingers through Cedric’s hair. It was painful to watch but I couldn’t tear my eyes away. Jealousy swept in like a freight train.
I tried to distract myself by walking over to where Callie was sitting and trying to involve her in a game of tic tac toe on her iPad. As we took our turns with x’s and o’s, I snuck glances over at Cedric and Stephanie 646/727
who were still seated next to each other at the dinner table and noticed how uncomfortable he looked, stiff and fidgety. He wasn’t returning any of her touches and his hands were planted firmly on his lap.
Stephanie’s back was turned to me, when Cedric’s and my eyes briefly met and I could tell by the look he gave me that he wanted to talk to me but he didn’t know how to break away from her. I needed to commu-nicate to him somehow that I wanted to talk to him too and that I wasn’t mad at him for being here with her, that I wasn’t mad at him for anything anymore.
Stephanie ran her fingers through his hair again and then reached over and pulled him toward her suddenly kissing him on the mouth. I turned away immediately at that sight and could feel the bile rising in me and started burning up with more feelings of intense jealousy. It was one thing to see him 647/727
here with another woman. It was another to see her all over him.
I was done with this, especially after what Caleb told me. If I truly felt that he was happy and moving on, I would have up and left. Thank goodness Caleb confronted me or I may have been gone by now. But I was determined to stay and determined to send him a signal that I still wanted him…that I needed him, and most of all, that I had forgiven him for not telling me the truth. I couldn’t sit here while someone else took something so important from me…while I watched. A primal urge to claim what was mine erupted in me and I knew needed to fight for him.
Just as Stephanie put her arm around him, Bettina started clearing the table.
Stephanie got up and took some plates through the sliding glass door into the kitchen.
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Then, Cedric immediately got up from his seat and started taking in some of the side dishes and was gone into the house.
Callie and I had stopped playing tic tac toe and now, she was just looking at You Tube while I sat beside her, playing with her long braid and pretending to focus my attention on anything other than the competition I had mentally started.
Stephanie came back out and returned to her seat, checking her phone, but Cedric remained in the house.
This was my chance.
I got out my phone, scrolled down to find his name and frantically typed.
I forgive you, Cedric.
I miss you so much.
I am sorry for leaving.
I need to talk to you.
649/727
About a minute went by and there was no response. I hoped he had the same cell phone number and that he even had his cell phone on him.
After another minute, my phone vibrated on my lap.
Cedric: God, Allison, I’m going
fucking crazy…I need to touch you.
Cedric: This is killing me.
Oh. My. God.
Allison: Where are you?
Cedric: In Callie’s room. Meet
me in here when I tell you to.
Allison:
What
if
Stephanie
comes looking for you?
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About thirty seconds passed before he responded.
Cedric: Ok, when you see Caleb
walk over to her, come inside the
house.
About two more minutes passed before Caleb walked over to Stephanie and started a conversation about a legal issue his construction company was having. I realized quickly this was a setup and that Cedric had texted Caleb to occupy Stephanie.
My heart began to pound out of my chest and I walked quickly past them through the sliding glass doors, past Bettina washing dishes in the kitchen and down the hall.
It was as if I floated past everything until I got to Callie’s room.
The door wasn’t even halfway open when Cedric pulled me into his arms, shut 651/727
the door and held me tighter than anyone ever had in my life.
“Tell me this isn’t a dream,” he whispered into my ear, seeming to fight back tears.
Our faces slowly met and he kissed me like his life depended on it backing me against the door. After about a minute, he broke away suddenly and examined my face.
“How could you have become even more beautiful?”
I looked down at the floor suddenly bashful and emotional and started to tear up.
“Cedric. It’s so hard to see you with her. We really need to talk.” Cedric grabbed my chin, pulling it up to meet his icy blue eyes that were burning a hole through me. “Look at me, Allison.” I wiped my eyes as he caressed my chin and said to me, “There has never been anyone who has ever come anywhere close to how you make me feel…not before you or 652/727
after you. I had been trying really hard to forget you lately, but even so, I didn’t get very far. You need to know that I haven’t… been…with Stephanie or anyone for that matter, sexually, since you, okay? I hadn’t even wanted to…it just hasn’t felt right. I have been so fucked up. It’s the longest in my life I have ever gone without—”
“Really? No one?” I interrupted.
“No one. I swear to you, Allison.” I shook my head and smiled. “Me neither.”
Cedric kissed my forehead. “Thank God,” he said letting out a deep breath and laughing a bit.
Immense relief washed over me to hear that Cedric hadn’t slept with her…or anyone else.
“Where have you been for the past three months…did you leave town?” Cedric asked as his fingers kneaded the skin on my waist gently.
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“God, Cedric, I have so much to tell you.” After a brief pause, I said, “I was in Chicago with Ed and Elaine.” The kneading stopped and he shook his head in disbelief. “What?”
“I’m sorry. I told them not to tell you.
It was just supposed to be a quick visit to meet them, but then we bonded and I decided to stay and help out with Ed and we got really close and well, it’s like they’re second parents or something to me now.” Cedric moved back in shock. “Holy crap, Allison. How could I have not known this?”
“It’s my fault for keeping it from you.
They wanted me to tell you. I just needed time to deal with this alone, Cedric. It was all too much too fast after the truth came out.
But Elaine and Ed, especially Ed, helped me see things clearer. So much else happened out there. I really want to tell you everything later tonight or whenever you can get away 654/727
from here, but we can’t stay in here like this much longer.”
Cedric pulled my mouth into his and sucked on my bottom lip slow and hard, then released it slowly. “I can’t let you go, Allison.”
I brought his head back toward me for another kiss and our tongues collided into one another.