“Yes… I see it!”
“It’s the typical situation,” Max said. “Boris, the typical tourist, probably ran out of money. His eyes were too big for his purse. So, he got himself a job. Doing the one thing he knows best by now-sight-seeing.”
“Hurry! He’s going so fast!”
Max speeded up, and pulled up alongside the bus. “There’s only one passenger,” Blossom said. “And, look! It’s Fred!”
“Talk about your coincidences!” Max said.
“I’ll try to get his attention,” Blossom said. She yelled. “Yoo-hoo! Fred! Yoo-hoo! It’s me!”
Seeing her, Fred rolled his eyes.
“Get Boris’s attention!” Max said. “He’s the one who’s driving!”
“Yoo-hoo! Boris! Yoo-hoo!”
“Ah… he sees you!”
“He’s going faster!”
“He’s ashamed-probably doesn’t want us to know that he made a fool of himself and had to take a job,” Max said.
“He’s getting away!”
“Hardly!” Max said. He stepped harder on the accelerator and pulled up alongside the bus again. “I’ll cut him off,” he said. He turned the car gradually in toward the bus, until finally the bus had to stop.
Max, Blossom and Fang jumped out of the car and hurried to the front door of the bus. It opened. They climbed aboard. And found themselves face to face with a pistol.
“Stuck ’em up!” Boris said.
“Aren’t you carrying this a bit far, Boris?” Max said. “Do you think it really matters to us that you spent all your money and had to take a job? As far as we’re concerned, you’re the same old Boris. Now put down that gun. Murdering us and disposing of our bodies won’t keep your secret. There’ll be other tourists from Zinzinotti on this bus, and one of them is sure to spot you.”
Boris clapped a hand to his brow. “I can’t stand it! This stupidity! I’ll tell you,” he said. “I’m not a tourist, I’m a FLAG agent!”
Max winced. “Boris, I’m very disappointed!”
“You are also my captives,” Boris said, waving the gun. “Move to the back of the bus!”
Blossom turned to Fred. “Fred! Do something!” Fred’s arm raised. The nickel dropped into his slot. “Peep-a-dotta, poop-a-dotta, dippa-dotta-boop!” His eyes rolled. The lemons came up. He spoke:
“Computer who tries to ‘do something’ when FLAG agent holding gun on him has no more brains than you-know-who.”
“He means you,” Blossom said to Max.
“I hardly think so. He’s probably talking about the person who put him together while watching an old Charlie Chan movie.”
“Back! Back!” Boris commanded.
Max, Blossom and Fang retreated.
“Under the rear seat you will find snorkels,” Boris said. “Put them on!”
“Snorkels? You mean that underwater diving gear? What’s that for?” Max said.
“That’s for me to know and you to find out,” Boris snarled. “Put it on!”
Max, Blossom and Fang each donned a snorkel.
Boris snickered. “Excuse me,” he said, “but you look very strange standing in the back of a bus wearing diving gear.”
“All right,” Max said sharply, “you were looking for a laugh and now you’ve had it. May we take off this ridiculous equipment?”
“Take a word of advice,” Boris said. “Don’t do it. You’ll regret it.” He moved back to the front of the bus. “You, Fred-you come with me,” he said.
Fred followed him.
When they reached the front, Boris said to Fred, “Stand by the door.” Then he got behind the wheel and started the bus moving again.
“He’s taking us someplace,” Blossom said.
“I hope it’s not the regular tour,” Max said. “I’ve seen Chinatown.”
“We’re heading east,” Blossom said.
“Well, he can only go so far in that direction. In time, he’ll come to the East River and have to stop.”
“I’ll bet he’s taking us to that submarine,” Blossom said.
“How many times do I have to tell you, there is no sub-”
Boris suddenly jumped up out of the driver’s seat. “Smooth sailing!” he called out.
“Boris! No!”
Boris opened the front door, shoved Fred out, then leaped after him. “Bon voyage!” he called back.
“Max!” Blossom shrieked. “The bus! It’s headed straight for the river!”
“Well… there you are, there’s your explanation,” Max said. “When Boris made us put on these snorkels, I thought he’d flipped his lid. But he knew what he was doing all along. That’s a relief.”
The bus lunged out into space-then nosed downward toward the river.
“Quick!” Max called. “Out the emergency exit!” He pulled the lever on the emergency door and shoved the door open. “Ladies first!”
Blossom jumped.
“Let’s see now, which is it, gentlemen or dogs second?” Max said.
Fang jumped.
“Well, that answers that,” Max said, following Fang out.
When Max bobbed to the surface a few seconds later he found Blossom and Fang already there. There was also another party present-a thin, pipe-like person, who had only one eye, which was located on top of his head.
“I don’t believe we’ve met,” Max said.
“Max! You’re talking to a periscope!” Blossom said.
“I don’t think the middle of the East River is anyplace to be choosy,” Max said. “Besides, he winked at me.”
“Ooooh!” Blossom shrieked. “We’re rising!”
The submarine was surfacing, taking Max, Blossom and Fang with it. A moment later they found themselves on its deck. A hatch cover opened. A head appeared. It was the head of a man. He was wearing a captain’s cap and a monocle in each eye.
“Welcome aboard,” the man said genially. “I am Captain 49, and you are my prisoners.”
“I take it back,” Max said. “We have met somewhere before, haven’t we?”
“That is correct,” the Captain smiled.
“I just can’t place the face,” Max said.
“I was sure you would remember-the summer of ‘61.”
“Ahhhhhhhh, yes,” Max nodded. “I’m not very good on faces, but I never forget a summer.”
“And even more recently,” Captain 49 said.
“Of course! You’re 94! 49 is 94 backwards! I should have known the instant I saw the two monocles!”
“What does that mean?” Blossom said.
“Obvious, isn’t it?” Max said. “He’s an agent for both sides-94 for us, and 49 for them, In other words, two monocles-a double agent!”
“Gee,” she said disappointedly, “and I thought he was just a nice guy that might be willing to dump his three wives if he had the right incentive.”
“You are very clever, Smart,” 49 said. “It will be a pleasure to joust wits with you. But now, come aboard. We are about to submerge.”
Max, Blossom and Fang followed 49 through the hatchway. Inside, Max said, “You’re pretty clever yourself, 49. Hiding a submarine in the East River is a neat trick. Especially when you consider that it’s impossible.”
“Coming from a man with your brains, I consider that a compliment indeed,” 49 smiled.
“Rorff!”
“What did he say?”
“He said that if we’re going to submerge somebody better close the hatch cover,” Max translated.
“Oh, yes… I keep forgetting that,” 49 said, closing the hatch cover.
“I suppose you intend to torture us now,” Max said.
“I hadn’t thought of it,” Captain 49 replied. “But that’s an excellent idea. First however, I must give the order to submerge.” He picked up the transmitter of an intercom system and spoke into it. “This is the Captain. Submerge!”
From a speaker overhead came a reply. “What, Captain?”
“Submerge! Submerge!”
Again, a reply. “Is that up or down, Captain?”
“Down, you idiot! Take it down!”
“Okay, okay,” replied the voice. “You don’t have to get in a tizzy about it!”
“Aiiiii!” Captain 49 groaned. “I’m surrounded by incompetents!” To Max, he said, “It’s nice to have a fellow brain aboard-even if not for long.”
“Meaning?” Max said.
“Meaning, of course, that I must destroy you,” Captain 49 replied. “With you alive, there is a possibility that you might abort our mission. Consequently… well, it is self-explanatory.”