Выбрать главу

At that moment, Max sidled up to the machine, and, in a quiet voice, said, “Fred? Is that you, Fred?”

“You, there!” the director snapped. “What are you doing?”

“You wouldn’t believe it,” Max said.

“Try me.”

“I was merely asking this computer if it was Fred,” Max replied. “There, see, I told you you wouldn’t believe me.”

The director screeched at the top of his voice. “Guards!”

Two uniformed men came rushing up.

“Him!” the director said, indicating Max.

“What did he do?” one of the guards asked.

The director put a hand to his brow. “You wouldn’t believe it.”

The guards grabbed Max. “That’s enough for us,” one of them said.

“Help! Fang!” Max called.

Fang covered his eyes with his paws!

“Just wait’ll the next time you come whining around for some liverwurst!” Max growled.

The guards dragged Max away. Blossom and Fang trailed after them.

“He’s innocent!” Blossom protested. “All he did was ask a computer if it was Fred!”

The guards stopped. They peered at Blossom.

“Better bring her along, too,” one of the guards said finally. “They’re probably working as a team!”

“Rorff!”

“You, too!” the guard said incredulously. “All right, the three of you, then!”

The guards took Fred, Blossom and Fang to a small room down the corridor. The room was furnished with hard-backed chairs, a desk, and a spotlight.

“If you’ll be seated…” one of the guards said politely.

Max and Blossom occupied chairs. Fang settled down on the floor.

“All right, Harry, bring on the rubber hose,” one of the guards said to the other.

“Where is it, Bert?” the other asked.

“You had it last,” Bert said. “Remember-that little old lady who snuck in and tried to get the computer to give her the winner of the Derby.”

“No, you had it after that,” Harry said. “That little old lady who tried to get the winner of the World Series from the computer-remember?”

“But, after I worked her over, I gave it to you,” Bert said. “I remember distinctly. I handed you the rubber hose, and I said, ‘Here’s the rubber hose, Bert.’ ”

“I’m not Bert, I’m Harry,” Harry said. “You’re Bert.”

Max broke in. “Gentlemen, if you don’t mind, could you get this over with? We’re in a bit of a rush.”

“Well, I don’t know about him,” Harry said peevishly, indicating Bert, “but I can’t do a thing without the rubber hose. He knows that, too. That’s why he hid it!”

“How would you like a rubber hose right square in the mush?” Bert said belligerently.

“If all you two are going to do is stand around arguing,” Max said, “we’re going to leave.”

Harry sighed. “All right, I’ll interrogate you. But it won’t be my best effort. I just don’t work well without a rubber hose.”

Bert spoke to Max. “The last time he used it,” he said, referring to Harry, “he dropped it on his toes. That’s how well he works with it.”

Harry pulled back a fist.

“Boys, boys, boys!” Max interceded. “If you can’t work together, we’re going to have to separate you! Now, settle down!”

“Yes, sir,” Harry said, lowering his eyes sheepishly. “But he started it.”

“He started it!” Bert shouted.

Harry cocked his fist again.

“One more outburst like that, and somebody’s going to sit in the corner!” Max warned.

Bert kicked the floor.

Harry muttered.

“Now then, let’s get on with it,” Max said. “Harry, you start off.”

“How come he’s always first?” Bert said crankily. “I’m never-”

“Bert!”

“Okay, okay!” He turned away. “Nobody ever lets me go first.”

Harry eyed Max menacingly. “Where do you think you get off going around asking computers if they’re Fred,” he said, beginning the interrogation. “Who do you think you are-anyway?”

“I refuse to answer on the grounds that that’s a ridiculous question,” Max replied.

Harry grinned. “Right there, that’s where I give you the old rubber hose,” he said. “Could you scream-just to get me in the mood?”

Max shrieked horrendously.

“That’ll teach you to act wise with the authorities,” Harry said grimly.

Behind him, Bert said, “My turn.”

Harry turned to him. “Your turn, Bert,” he said.

Bert faced Max. “This Fred you’re looking for, what does he look like?” he said.

“He has revolving eyes, a lever at his side, and goes ‘Peep-a-dotta, poop-a-dotta, dippa-dotta-boop!’ ” Max replied.

Bert faced back to Harry. For a second, they stared at each other. Then they retired to a corner and spoke to each other in low tones.

“What now?” Blossom whispered to Max.

“Somehow, I think we’ve stirred up a hornet’s nest,” Max said.

Harry and Bert came back. “On your feet,” Harry said.

“My friend here,” Max said, indicating Blossom, “would like to know what now?”

“Do you really think of me as your friend?” Blossom glowed. “How good a friend?”

“Stow that,” Max snarled.

“We’ve come to a contretemps-whatever that means,” Harry said to Max. “You mentioned a guy with revolving eyes and a lever at his side and goes Peep-a-dotta-you-know. And it just so happens that the new president of the company, just named to the post today, has a lot in common with that description. So Bert and me think that maybe this Fred might be one of the Big Boss’s relatives. We don’t want to take no chances. So we’re going to check it out. Then, boy, are you going to get it!”

“Come along,” Bert said, leading the way to the door.

They left the room and walked along the corridor.

“This new president of the company, just named to the post today, what’s his name?” Max asked.

“Let’s see…” Harry said thoughtfully. “Ned? Jed? Dred? Something like that. What is it, Bert?”

“Fred, I think,” Bert replied.

“There’s another coincidence,” Harry said to Max. “Your Fred and the new company president, just named to the post today, have the same name.”

“Fantastic!” Max said. “Two people with revolving eyes and a lever at their side that go ‘Peep-a-dotta, poop-a-dotta, dippa-dotta-boop!’ Fact is sometimes stranger than fiction, eh?”

They came to an impressive door marked: PRESIDENT

(Just Named to the Post Today)

“Inside,” Harry said.

They entered. Seated at a desk in a small reception area was a gorgeous brunette who looked remarkably like Noel.

“Two tourists and a dog to see the new president for purposes of identification,” Harry said to the girl.

“Rorff!”

“Okay, okay,” Harry said. To the receptionist, he said, “Make that three tourists, no dog.”

Max bent over to Noel. “So we meet again,” he said slyly.

She lowered her eyes, smiling girlishly. “You remember…”

“I never forget a summer,” Max said.

Noel spoke to Bert and Harry. “You two can go now. The new president, just named to the post today, will handle this.”

“Yes’m.” They departed.

Rising, Noel hooked a thumb toward another door, which was marked FRED

“Inside,” she said.

Max led the way. He opened the door, then halted. Seated at a large, ornately-carved desk was a robot-like computer with a lever at his side.

“The resemblance is absolutely amazing!” Max said.

Blossom edged past him. “Fred!” she cried.

Max’s mouth fell open. “You don’t mean-”

“That’s my Fred!” Blossom said. Then, suddenly not so sure, she said, “Aren’t you, Fred?”

Fred’s arm came up. His nickel dropped into the slot. “Peep-a-dotta, poop-a-dotta, dippa-dotta-boop!” The lemons came up. He spoke.

“Hiya, gang.”

Blossom ran to him, embraced him. “Fred… my poor Fred!”

“Poor Fred!” Max said. “He happens to be president of T. C. amp; S., that’s all.” He moved closer to Fred. “How did you do it, boy?”

“I rose through the ranks,” Fred replied. “It took me all afternoon practically, but I did it. I demonstrated that I know more about computers than anyone else on the staff.”