Sir, I declared at last, I need your help.
I remained in my attic room, sitting on my bed, hands in my lap, while he spoke to Catharina and Maria Thins, while they searched Cornelia, then searched among the girls things for my grandmothers comb. Maertge finally found it, hidden in the large shell the baker had given them when he came to see his painting. That was probably when Cornelia had switched the combs, climbing down from the attic while the children were all playing in the storeroom and hiding my comb inside the first thing she could find.
It was Maria Thins who had to beat Corneliahe made it clear it was not his duty, and Catharina refused to, even when she knew that Cornelia should be punished. Maertge told me later that Cornelia did not cry, but sneered throughout the beating.
It was Maria Thins too who came to see me in the attic. Well, girl, she said, leaning against the grinding table, you have set the cat loose in the poultry house now.
I did nothing, I protested.
No, but you have managed to make a few enemies. Why is that? Weve never had so much trouble with other help. She chuckled, but behind her laugh she was sober. But he has backed you, in his way, she continued, and that is more powerful than anything Catharina or Cornelia or Tanneke or even I may say against you.
She tossed my grandmothers comb in my lap. I wrapped it in a handkerchief and replaced it in the chest. Then I turned to Maria Thins. If I did not ask her now, I would never know. This might be the only time she would be willing to answer me. Please, madam, what did he say? About me?
Maria Thins gave me a knowing look. Dont flatter yourself, girl. He said very little about you. But it was clear enough. That he came downstairs at all and concerned himselfmy daughter knew then that he was taking your side. No, he charged her with failing to raise her children properly. Much cleverer, you see, to criticize her than to praise you.
Did he explain that I wasassisting him?
No.
I tried not to let my face show what I felt, but the very question must have made my feelings clear.
But I told her, once he had gone, Maria Thins added. Its nonsense, you sneaking around, keeping secrets from her in her own house. She sounded as if she were blaming me, but then she muttered, I would have thought better of him. She stopped, looking as if she wished she hadnt revealed so much of her own mind.
What did she say when you told her?
Shes not happy, of course, but shes more afraid of his anger. Maria Thins hesitated. Theres another reason why shes not so concerned. I may as well tell you now. Shes carrying a child again.
Another? I let slip. I was surprised that Catharina would want another child when they were so short of money.
Maria Thins frowned at me. Watch yourself, girl.
Im sorry, madam. I instantly regretted having spoken even that one word. It was not for me to say how big their family should be. Has the doctor been? I asked, trying to make amends.
Doesnt need to. She knows the signs, shes been through it enough. For a moment Maria Thins face made clear her thoughtsshe too wondered about so many children. Then she became stern again. You go about your duties, stay out of her way, and help him, but dont parade it in front of the house. Your place here is not so secure.
I nodded and let my eyes rest on her gnarled hands as they fumbled with a pipe. She lit it and puffed for a moment. Then she chuckled. Never so much trouble with a maid before. Lord love us!
On Sunday I took the comb back to my mother. I did not tell her what had happenedI simply said it was too fine for a maid to keep.
Some things changed for me in the house after the trouble with the comb. Catharinas treatment of me was the greatest surprise. I had expected that she would be even more difficult than beforegive me more work, berate me whenever she could, make me as uncomfortable as possible. Instead she seemed to fear me. She removed the studio key from the precious bunch at her hip and handed it back to Maria Thins, never locking or unlocking the door again. She left her jewelry box in the studio, sending her mother to fetch what she needed from it. She avoided me as much as she could. Once I understood this, I kept out of her way as well.
She did not say anything about my afternoon work in the attic. Maria Thins must have impressed upon her the notion that my help would make him paint more, and support the child she carried as well as those she had already. She had taken to heart his words about her care of the children, who were after all her main charge, and began to spend more time with them than she had before. With the encouragement of Maria Thins, she even began to teach Maertge and Lisbeth to read and write.
Maria Thins was more subtle, but she too changed toward me, treating me with more respect. I was still clearly a maid, but she did not dismiss me so readily, or ignore me, as she did sometimes with Tanneke. She would not go so far as to ask my opinion, but she made me feel less excluded from the household.
I was also surprised when Tanneke softened toward me. I had thought she enjoyed being angry and bearing me a grudge, but perhaps it had worn her out. Or perhaps once it was clear that he took my side, she felt it best not to appear to be opposed to me. Perhaps they all felt like that. Whatever the reason, she stopped creating extra work for me by spilling things, stopped muttering about me under her breath and giving me hard sideways looks. She did not befriend me, but it became easier to work with her.
It was cruel, perhaps, but I felt I had won a battle against her. She was older and had been a part of the household for much longer, but his favoring me clearly carried more weight than her loyalty and experience. She could have felt this slight deeply, but she accepted defeat more easily than I would have expected. Tanneke was a simple creature underneath, and wanted an easy time of it. The easiest way was to accept me.
Although her mother took closer charge of her, Cornelia did not change. She was Catharinas favorite, perhaps because she most resembled her in spirit, and Catharina would do little to tame her ways. Sometimes she looked at me with her light brown eyes, her head tilted so that her red curls dangled about her face, and I thought of the sneer Maertge had described as Cornelias expression while she was being beaten. And I thought again, as I had on my first day: She will be a handful.
Though I did not make a show of it, I avoided Cornelia as I did her mother. I did not wish to encourage her. I hid the broken tile, my best lace collar, which my mother had made for me, and my finest embroidered handkerchief, so that she could not use them against me.
He did not treat me differently after the affair of the comb. When I thanked him for speaking up for me, he shook his head as if shooing away a fly that buzzed about him.
It was I who felt differently about him. I felt indebted. I felt that if he asked me to do something I could not say no. I did not know what he would ask that I would want to say no to, but nonetheless I did not like the position I had come to be in.
I was disappointed in him as well, though I did not like to think about it. I had wanted him to tell Catharina himself about my assisting him, to show that he was not afraid to tell her, that he supported me.
That is what I wanted.
Maria Thins came to see him in his studio one afternoon in the middle of October, when the painting of van Ruijvens wife was nearly complete. She must have known I was working in the attic and could hear her, but nevertheless she spoke directly to him.
She asked him what he intended to paint next. When he did not reply she said, You must paint a larger painting, with more figures in it, as you used to. Not another woman alone with only her thoughts. When van Ruijven comes to see his painting you must suggest another to him. Perhaps a companion piece to something youve already painted for him. He will agreehe usually does. And he will pay more for it.