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she looked really professional and pleased with herself

it wasn’t the Carole she once knew

it was someone else

LaTisha has long wanted to show Carole she’s not the roughneck she used to be, the roughneck who wasn’t good enough to be her friend.

3

As the Hot Foods section manager is late today, she makes her way over to the rotisserie to give it the once over

it’s all present and correct and Rupa, who’s usually on the fish counter, is covering for Tammy who was fired last week, caught when security put a hidden camera in the back room because her till wasn’t tallying

caught in the act of eating spicy chicken wings, irrefutable evidence, had to go, sacked over snaffling chicken wings after seven years on the job

what was she thinking?

everyone was told about it as a warning, even though the store regularly suffers close to a million pounds’ shrinkage every year on account of employee theft, shoplifting, cashier and admin errors and whatever

it’s a hazard of large-scale retail in spite of all the enhanced technology and security LaTisha keeps abreast of in preparation for her next promotion

working hard?

reading boring documents?

love it!

she’s grateful she wasn’t caught herself in the early days when she was stacking shelves, did a lot worse than Tammy but her excuse was more valid

it went like this

she’d had Jason, her first child, for Dwight, an accident, he didn’t want to use a condom, said he’d withdraw, clearly not in time (many times not in time)

she didn’t show until it was too late

Dwight was a security guard at the store, it’s how they first met in the canteen as she sat there shooting her mouth off about something deep and meaningful

when he leaned over and whispered, you’re so fit, LaTisha

that’s all it took

plus buying a Big Mac and strawberry milkshake after work that day, sweet-talking her all the way, LaTisha-bae this and LaTisha-bae that

like he was pouring honey over her naked body and licking it off

which is what he said he wanted to do to her, you make me hard just looking at you

he snuck her into the garage conversion flat at the bottom of the garden of his family home

while his mum watched telly in the main house

snuck her out again in the morning, before his mum woke up, she’d warned him not to bring girls back

LaTisha wondered if there’d been others, it didn’t matter, he was hers now, and she began to feel close to him, especially as he liked to talk afterwards

previous boys only wanted an orgasm and not a conversation, let alone a relationship

which is what they were having after seven months together, going cinema and concerts, doing normal boy-girl things

he was the first person she told the truth to about her dad’s disappearance, told him how upset and rejected she’d felt, even let him see her cry a few times, which had never happened with anyone

your dad shouldn’t have done that, Dwight said, stroking her back, it don’t make him a bad man, though, only a weak one, nuff mans be like that

she hadn’t thought of that

so Daddy was weak?

so was Dwight, it turned out

when a new girl started at work who the boys rated a ten (the girls rated her a three), she came on to him in a sluttish way and suddenly it was like, LaTisha who?

she tried to talk to him, he said he’d moved on

moved on from what? there was nothing wrong with us, Dwight

you made me feel claustrophobic, bae, you’re too intense, too much too soon, I’m not ready to settle down, ya gets?

what do you mean too much too soon? I haven’t asked you for anything

LaTisha badmouthed him to her friends on the phone late into the night, only to end up bawling because she still wanted him and how could he do this to her?

I confided in him and he shat on my trust

they commiserated, he’s a dog, LaTisha, you can do better than him, he doesn’t deserve you, forget him, which she tried to do until she discovered her expanding belly wasn’t puppy fat

she was pregnant

and seven months gone, like one of those teenagers who go for a dump in the toilets at school only to find out they’re giving birth instead and it’s like OMG and WTF and I didn’t even know I was pregnant

and

you’re the father of this baby, Dwight, the one inside here, she patted her stomach

they were outside the store just before his shift, she was so angry he’d got her into this mess in the first place

are you gonna man-up about it, D?

she said it was his fault

he said it wasn’t

like

how can it not be when he’d refused to put on protection when they’d done it, saying real men don’t wear condoms, it don’t feel right

you should have known better, she told him

so should you

Mummy went through the roof, literally exploded like a rocket through the kitchen ceiling first, then the bathroom ceiling above it, then through the roof and high into the sky until she calmed down enough to come back to earth with a thud

how can this happen to me, she wailed

it’s not happening to you, LaTisha shot back

that got her a slap so hard it almost sent her flying across the room and she almost ended up stuck into the wall – arms and legs splayed

like in those comic cartoons

Mummy was so angry she’d said LaTisha had to pay for the child herself, threw her out after another row, ranting about LaTisha bringing shame on the family, I don’t believe it, she prattled on, I’ve got a babymother for a daughter

you can talk, LaTisha replied

Mummy pushed her out of the house so hard she fell on the pavement almost cracking her skull open

LaTisha screamed back at the slammed door, found a brick from the loose ones on their garden wall, pelted it through the living room window

by accident

it was only supposed to crack the window, not smash it to bits

anyway, Jason was safe in the kitchen

even so Mum screamed she was calling the police

LaTisha knew she’d never do that, would she?

instead she brought her things out, including Jason

I work with girls like you all day, I can’t come home to one as well

she gave her an emergency number

didn’t even call it for her

LaTisha ended up in emergency accommodation for young mothers, how could her mum do this to her when she had a baby to look after, and it meant she’d lost the one person who could show her how to raise him

at least Dwight manned up for a few seconds

made sure their shifts overlapped so she could get as many things as she needed for the baby without detection

she didn’t like stealing but convinced herself it wasn’t like the supermarket couldn’t afford it with their billions in profits and exploitation of poor workers

it was their fault for not paying her enough, and anyway, how else was she gonna support the baby on her own?

a week later Mummy turned up to take her home, not before calling her a bloody fool and I had to teach you a lesson and that baby will die if you’re left alone to look after it and you can’t pick your family, can you?

LaTisha gave her the biggest hug, told her how much she loved her and thankyouthankyouthankyoumummy

luckily Jayla had been unemployed since she left school at sixteen so she looked after Jason during the day when LaTisha went to work

Jayla loved children, couldn’t wait to have her own

LaTisha wondered how that was going to happen when she played computer games all day and only went out to take Jason around the park and go on Tinder dates that didn’t work out

she’d come home early saying he wasn’t the one

now that LaTisha had two people to help raise Jason, she felt the burden roll off her and on to them

even though Mummy said, I don’t know if I’ve got any love left to give