when LaTisha watched her with Jason, it was obvious her love for him was infinite
he made her smile more than she had since Daddy left
so there she was, LaTisha KaNisha Jones, aged eighteen, supermarket cashier, single, and boys wasn’t exactly lining up to get serious with her as a single mother of one
when she met Mark in the nightclub she went to once a month with Lauren and Chloe
he was an electrician, had his own flat in Streatham, was fresh to death, and didn’t press his hardness into her when they danced
they arranged a date that involved a film, pizza and even a wine bar – her first time inside one, where he treated her to champagne and opened doors for her all the way
she couldn’t believe her luck and what with his bedroom eyes making her feel sexy and the drink making her feel romantic, she gave it up without protection in the back of his car in an empty parking lot that very evening
as they made out, he whispered, I knew the minute I set eyes on you that we were meant to be together, I can’t wait for us to become one
it was the most incredible moment, and she was so ready to have a man in her life who could be a father to Jason
when the only thing it led to was Jantelle, who still hasn’t met her father because when LaTisha tried to call the number Mark gave her
it didn’t exist
so now she’s nineteen, got two kids, no man, and feeling overwhelmed by the absolute mess she’d made of her life
so grateful for Mummy and Jayla’s help because her other friends were still free people and had backed off because she wasn’t
it was clear they didn’t want to be burdened with a single mother as a close friend who was gonna be tied to her two kids for another sixteen years
meaning they’d have to be
as well.
4
Trey was the father of child Number Three
the older brother of a former classmate and an upgrade on the others because he worked as a sports teacher, at her old school (what were the chances??!!!)
she remembered him from her party when him and his mandem caused a stir when they turned up
as soon as he stepped in through the front door, LaTisha set her eyes on him; before she could make her move, Carole was spotted leaving the party with him so waved she could hardly stand up
the next Monday at school, when LaTisha asked her outright if she’d banged him, Carole said no way, fam, and wouldn’t look her in the eye, a sure sign someone’s lying (believe)
Trey asked her out on Facebook, maybe he remembered her, maybe not, he obviously wasn’t put off by the loads of photos she’d uploaded of her two kids
which probably made her a saddo in most guys’ eyes
he was topless in his profile pic, tried to look propa gangsta, except LaTisha could tell it was all show because his eyes were soft
all the other photos were of him and his crew, no girls at all, a sign he wasn’t a player and was waiting for the right girl to come along before he committed
she dressed up for their date in a clingy, spangled dress and strappy heels, determined not to give it up until their tenth date
and would insist on a condom
he picked her up in his car from her house which was very gentlemanly, instead of meeting her at the Caribbean restaurant on the high street as planned
conversation was easy as they cruised through the streets, they had Peckham School for Boys and Girls in common, had a laugh about Mrs King, still there, still hated by everyone, still called FF
but instead of taking her to the restaurant, they headed to his place for a private romantic meal, he said, instead of a noisy restaurant with loads of guys ogling her
what could she say to that?
she discovered he lived in a room in a shared house with a bed, a wardrobe and a sink, she thought of walking straight out again but he said, I’ve been dreaming of a dance with you, let’s dance, LaTisha, let’s dance
then I’ll order an Indian
he played John Legend, pulled her towards him, and she thought, okay, dancing is harmless, except he got very handsy and it quickly got steamy between them
it had been a year since she’d given birth and all of this time
there had been like
NO SEX
she wasn’t going to go all the way, just wanted to mess around a little until Trey unzipped his jeans while they were dancing and stuffed her hand down his trousers
okay, Trey, so I’m going to leave now? can you drop me off home please or, tell you what, I’ll take the bus, I really have to go home and be with my kids and make sure I don’t get myself into any more trouble
she said
in her head
while giving him a hand job on the bed and before she could object he was inside her and it wasn’t even a first date let alone a tenth and she wasn’t expecting it and he was really pumping hard and making her sore and she struggled to move out from under what felt like a block of concrete and I don’t want to, not yet, get off me, please, Trey, she said
out loud to deaf ears
so she gave up
couldn’t stop him
had led him on
anyway, she let him get on with it
until he groaned
as he finished
lay half on top of her
crushing her ribs
fell asleep
didn’t want to disturb him by moving
wanted to go home
she really needed to go home to Jason and Jantelle and Jayla and Mum
when he rolled off her enough to escape she left quietly in case he woke up and ordered the Indian
she walked the streets until she found a bus stop, waited ages for it, it was cold and she wasn’t dressed for it, had to change buses twice, it took her three hours to reach home
where she spent a long time in the shower
wondering if he’d done anything wrong or was it her fault
she should have stayed and talked to him about it
he might have said he hadn’t heard her saying no
or that she drove him so crazy with desire
which was kind of flattering
and he couldn’t stop
himself
she half expected him to call up the next week, hey, you left before I could tell you what a great time I had with you, fancy going to see a film at the weekend?
she waited for the call that never came, the only thing that did was Jordan
so now she had three kids, Jason, Jantelle and Jordan, all before her twenty-first birthday
three kids who’d grow up with no fathers in their lives
LaTisha began to take herself off on long walks through the backstreets in her lunch break at work, heading away from the nightmare of the Old Kent Road with its thundering vehicles and fumes
she tried to make sense of it all, of herself
she beat herself up for being so stupid, yes, stupid
Mum veered between blaming LaTisha for being such a useless article, and blaming herself for raising a child who’d become one.
4
LaTisha has finished her morning patrol of the supermarket
she’s about to let in the earlies who prefer empty aisles to whiz their trolleys down without worrying about knocking over old ladies or young children
once it’s opened, she’s off upstairs to the office to check her emails and see who’s pretending to be sick, a system open to exploitation as they don’t have to provide a doctor’s note until their seventh day of skiving
as someone who abused the system more than most, she knows
now she’s a good citizen determined to catch out those who aren’t, like Carter, who asked for holiday leave two weeks before Christmas and when she refused, called in sick
from Thailand
produced a sick note ten days later, from a dodgy foreign doctor, no doubt, and kicked up a fuss because she wouldn’t accept it, it’s too late, Carter, and Thailand isn’t even in the EU last time anyone looked so it’s not eligible at any time, she said calmly while he bellowed long distance that he was going to take out a grievance against her