you can do what you like, Carter, it’s your prerogative
feeling proud of herself for suppressing the old LaTisha who’d’ve bellowed back – and see where it gets you, you fucking cunt
this is the New LaTisha
the one who got herself two ‘A’ levels at evening school
which really did her head in, her brain throbbed with headaches from too much thinking and memorizing, her eyes hurt from so much reading
she lost half her brain cells doing those courses, she did
the other half she’s using for an online retail management degree with the Open University
in her second year, part-time, four more to go
this is the New LaTisha
who’s nearly thirty and settled on being single for as long as it takes to meet a man who’s right for her and her kids
apparently Tyrone, Section Manager of Electronics and Appliances, has a thing for her, she’s been studying his behaviour to ascertain whether he’s a player around women, so far so good
he’s single, unmarried, no kids
she’ll keep her eye on him, won’t rush into anything
if ever, maybe never
her longest relationship was Kamal, who lasted nine months, they went on proper dates, she met his friends and family, he spent time at hers
Mum thought he was okay, Jayla liked him because he played computer games with her, the kids took to him because he spoilt them with sweets
the five of them looked like a family on his Instagram page
the relationship ended because although he liked her kids, he wanted his own
and although she liked him, she was done with being a baby machine
time to move on, they agreed, maturely, face to face
no lying or cheating or badness on his part
after him she dated a couple of guys she met at parties and discovered one of them was two-timing her with another woman who confronted her when she left his flat one morning
the other one seemed to have several women on the go, according to his texts, Tinder, WhatsApp and Facebook
which she read while he slept
both men were unceremoniously dumped
with immediate effect
this is the New LaTisha
who still lives with Mum and Jayla in the family home with Jason (twelve), Jantelle (eleven) and Jordan (ten)
her and Jantelle double up, the boys have the converted attic, Jayla and Mum have their own rooms
Jason is the oldest and cleverest, he likes studying more than the others, maybe because he’s more responsible as the oldest
as such she has the softest spot for him, can’t believe he spent so many months growing inside her without her knowing
which makes her feel sad, he might have felt lonely without her talking to him and stroking her belly, which is what she did with the other two
Jantelle’s special as the only girl, she looks most like her, a mini-me, and is the most thoughtful, whenever LaTisha is at her desk yawning, she’ll come up to her and say, time to take a nap, Mummy, shall I bring you hot milk with honey in it?
Jordan looks like Trey and she suspects he’s inherited his characteristics
Jordan’s already been suspended from school, causes the most problems at home, refuses to go to bed, or stay in it when he’s forced to, steals money, starts fights with his older siblings, and sneaks out to play when he’s been grounded
she caught him watching porn on the family computer recently
the kids have three mothers
LaTisha is the strictest and most fascistic: homework, obedience, manners
Mum is the sweetest and more forgiving of her grandchildren’s naughtiness than she was with her
Jayla is the maddest, won’t leave the house at all now, won’t see a psychiatrist, is really pale due to Vitamin D deficiency and is glued to her computer doing godknowswhat
then Daddy turned up unannounced a few weeks ago
LaTisha came home to find him sitting on his old armchair in the living room, as if he’d never left it
he was just as huge, his dreadlocks were more grey than black, and he had a big stomach
he looked at her admiringly, lovingly, when she walked in the room
it didn’t work out with Marva, he missed his real family
Mum didn’t look like she was going to kick him out any time soon, it was as if her love for him was flowing back in uncontrollable waves
Jason and Jantelle sat there perched on the edge of the sofa unsure what to make of this giant who was their grandfather
Jordan had already decided, edged towards his grandfather who reached out and put an arm around him when he was close enough to be cuddled
Jordan beamed up at his grandfather, with such an angelic look on his face
she realized her youngest son needed her father in his life.
Chapter Three
Shirley
1
Shirley
(not yet Mrs King)
arrives at Peckham School for Boys and Girls
a former Victorian workhouse with two rectangular blocks of concrete attached incongruously to both ends of it
approached by what was once called the Paupers’ Path
leading up to its castle-sized doors
she’s wearing a light grey pencil skirt and jacket, powder-blue blouse, grey neck-tie, black patent leather court shoes, and her pride
as she passes through the formidable doors into the wood-panelled entrance
wide staircases sweep up either side of the lobby ascending to the upper floors
long corridors extend in two directions either side of her
she’s way too early, wanders through the empty school, explores its light-filled classrooms, imagines its essence pouring into her soul, yes, her very soul
she isn’t going to be a good teacher but a great one
one who’ll be remembered by generations of working-class children as the person who made them feel capable of achieving anything in life
a local girl made good, come back to generously pass on
her parents, Winsome and Clovis, are proud of her for making it to university to read History and thereafter gaining a Certificate in Education
she’s the one who’s made it, not her older brothers
who didn’t have to do any housework or even wash their own clothes, whereas she had to spend her Saturdays mornings doing both
who were given first helpings at meals they never had to cook, and extra portions because they were growing lads, including mega-helpings of the most desirable desserts
who weren’t punished for speaking their mind, whereas she was sent to her room at the slightest sign of insurrection, keep your thoughts to yourself, Shirl
and while it’s true they got the strap and she didn’t – for going out without permission or not coming home on time from school – it was only because she never broke the rules
everyone thought Tony and Errol were destined to be football stars, Pelés in the making, one step away from World Cup glory
until they reached sixteen and their early talent didn’t burgeon into a professional one, and their junior club memberships were terminated
they left secondary school early, became clerks pushing pens
instead of kicking a ball around Wembley
she’s the Family Success Story
Shirley walks past laboratories filled with petri dishes and desiccators, microscopes and pipettes
she walks past colourful art rooms with a few quite good paintings and an airy woodworking studio with work benches (for boys only)
past a Domestic Science classroom with steel preparation counters and gas cookers, ready to nurture the next generation of housewives, full-time housewife and full-time job, a downside of the Women’s Liberation Movement
it won’t be the case for her
once she marries Lennox, they’ve agreed he’ll do the cooking, she’ll do the cleaning, he’ll do the shopping, she’ll do the ironing