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she’d read an article that said while older and middle-aged men typically went for younger women, both older women and younger women often fell for middle-aged women

sadly, there wasn’t a sapphic bone in her body

the women’s magazines Penelope now read argued that women should not define themselves by a male partner, that to depend on a man was a sign of weakness

all quite different to the magazines she’d read as a young woman, which advised the opposite

she tried to be happy food shopping for one, happy to go to sleep alone, happy to wake up in an empty bed, happy that building site workers no longer wolf-whistled after her (to think she’d once objected)

happy to look at her middle-aged body in the mirror without pulling a face, because the female form should be accepted in all its different shapes and sizes, shouldn’t it?

Penelope wanted to embrace self-love and self-acceptance

getting rid of the full-length mirrors in her home was a good start

she should also be happy at work seeing as she’d lost her first marriage over her right to do it

at first she’d enjoyed teaching the disadvantaged children of the area whose parents had an inter-generational history of paying taxes in this country, even though she knew most of them wouldn’t go on to great things

a supermarket till for the ones who were numerate, a typing pool for those who were numerate and literate, further education for those who could pass exams sufficiently well

she felt a sense of responsibility towards her own kind, and didn’t like it at all when the school’s demography began to change with the immigrants and their offspring pouring in

in the space of a decade the school went from predominantly English children of the working classes to a multicultural zoo of kids coming from countries where there weren’t even words for please and thank you

which explained a lot

she loathed that feminism was on the descent, and the vociferous multi-culti brigade was on the ascent, and felt angry all the time, usually at the older boys who were disrespectful and the bullish male teachers who still behaved as if they owned the planet

the type who used to patronize her when she’d started the job years ago, to the point of tears

who never included her in their conversations except to look at her tits

she’d have to sit there silently being objectified along with the other young female teachers and the posters of topless models plastered on the noticeboard in the staff room

just as some of the female pupils were harassed by male teachers who groped them, and honestly, did anybody take it seriously when girls complained that this male teacher had stroked her breasts, or that male teacher had smacked her on the bottom, or another male teacher had put his hand up her skirt?

she knew of two males who’d had ‘liaisons’ with female pupils

and got away with it, they all got away with it

the male teachers

would head off for a pint in the Green Dragon after work, never thinking to invite her or any of the other teachers who had a womb

the male teachers

who made decisions before the staff meeting began so that the rest of them were presented with a fait accompli, without a hope in hell of catching up on decision-making conversations begun at lunch or in the corridors or over the telephone the previous evening

it took her years to realize she wasn’t being slow and stupid, she learned the hard way to shoehorn herself into debates, to force them to explain exactly what the hell they were talking about, to hold them to account

she learned the hard way to crush any opposition to the ground, especially young upstarts like Saint Shirley the Puritanical of the Caribbean

as she described her in her diary

Shirley was barely out of her teaching probation when she took a pot shot at Penelope at that staff meeting all those years ago – at the only woman in the school who dared stand up to the men

why didn’t Saint Shirley attack one of the male chauvinist pigs who pontificated ad infinitum instead of a strong woman who’d brought petitions into work for both the Equal Pay Act and the Sex Discrimination Act, both of which were eventually passed into law

improving the situation for all working women

she should be admired and respected by her female colleagues

it took her a long time to forgive Saint Shirley but when she did, the became friends, work friends.

5

Penelope

went home from school each evening to her Golden Retriever, Humperdinck

always there for her, always eager for a cuddle, who’ll listen to her for hours without interruption, who whimpers when she leaves the house, greets her as soon as she steps back in the door, jumping up for a hug

Humperdinck was named after her favourite crooner from the seventies, Engelbert Humperdinck, the tanned sex-bomb still oozing so much charisma she can barely contain herself when he appears on television, his teeth glittering like polished pearls

so much sexier, in her opinion, than his nearest rival, Tom Jones, the famous pelvis-thruster with the big voice from the Welsh valleys

she also reconnected with the Sisterhood, her college friends who were sympathetic enough to overlook the fact she’d barely had anything to do with them when she was married

Giles only liked to surround himself with fellow boring engineers and their (house) wives, she told them, while Phillip’s milieu was pseudo-intellectuals and their drippy Save the Planet spouses

she admitted she’d lost the me of myself and was subsumed within the we of marriage, relinquishing even her surname

Penelope Halifax who became Penelope Owsteby who became Penelope Hutchinson before reverting back to her maiden name

which wasn’t really hers in the first place

(she kept the shame of that to herself)

they went to their favourite health spa in Cheltenham twice a year for what they called their Detox/Retox Weekends

to indulge in sisterly conviviality while getting massages, facials, saunas and delightfully tanked with the wine they smuggled in

for their drinking sessions in the suite furthest away from the uptight spa staff in reception

who thoroughly disapproved of people actually having fun

Penelope

was secretly relieved when a gal pal’s marriage collapsed too, because then she didn’t feel so awfully, terribly alone

they could go to the theatre and cinema together, enjoy meals out and art exhibitions, holidays at her authentically rustic cottage in Provence, spa trips to the Alps and Thailand

her daughter became a great support to her after the end of Marriage Number Two

her best friend, as Penelope often reminded her, and not only when she’d had a drink or two and phoned her in the early hours

Sarah never hung up on her, not once, I’m here for you, Mum, and please don’t do anything stupid, please

Penelope didn’t have the suicidal gene, and it upset her that her daughter thought otherwise

Sarah had boyfriends, but not fallen in love yet, perhaps because she’d seen how that played out with her mother

she talked about having children and said, Mum, the day I have kids is the day I give up work, I don’t want to be a working mother

that’s fine, Penelope reassured her, and meant it

all she wanted was for her daughter to be self-fulfilled

at this point in her life, feminist politics can sod off

look where it got her?

Giles paid the children’s university living expenses, and thus became their favourite parent

it saddened her when they didn’t give her preferential love when she’d been the parent who raised them