Mrs King had exerted such power over Carole, it felt abusive
now here she is, a bit older, greyer, fatter, although it’s hard to tell because from a child’s perspective all adults are old and fat
therein follows a silence so long it becomes excruciatingly embarrassing, both women grimace at each other
Shirley breaks it, well, nice to see you after all this time, Carole
yes, nice to see you, too, Carole replies, and looks into Mrs King’s eyes, expecting a devilish glint, instead they’re watery, is she upset? she looks sad, hurt, does Mrs King actually have feelings?
it dawns on Carole that she’s always thought of Mrs King through a haze of teenage rage, yet the woman was probably only trying her best, she just didn’t go about it in the right way
Carole doesn’t want to upset the woman, not now, yet she seems to have done just that, she needs to make amends
I know it’s rather late in the day, Mrs King, I mean Shirley, I’m not sure I ever thanked you for your help when I was at school, well, better late than never, huh!
the huh wasn’t intentional, Carole couldn’t help herself
don’t be silly, Shirley replies, you’ve absolutely nothing to thank me for, I did what I could to help you along, never in a million years did I expect or even want to be thanked, it was my pleasure, more than that, it was my duty as a conscientious teacher, I was just doing my job and it makes me happy that it worked out for you, that’s thanks enough in my book
Carole sees that the watery eyes have become actual tears, it dawns on her that Mrs King really did help her when nobody else could or would, how could she have not realized this until now?
Mrs King takes a step backwards, embarrassed by her vulnerability, Carole suspects
I must fetch my husband or we’ll miss the last train home, school tomorrow, Year 9, the worst, goodbye, Carole, it was lovely to bump into you.
3
Shirley walks back through the gathering lighter on her feet
she can’t wait to tell Lennox about her encounter with Carole, even though he dismisses her long-held grievance as a negative waste of energy
life’s so much simpler for men, simply because women are so much more complicated than them
Lennox never seems to get uptight about anything
she drags him away from Lakshmi to collect their coats and while the attendant fetches them, looks back at the party
large spaces packed with raised voices remind her of the cacophonous nightmare of hundreds of schoolchildren in the school canteen
the awful squeaking of voices and scraping of metal on crockery resounding and rebounding against the walls and ceiling
her idea of a good night out is still grooving to lovers’ rock with Lennox in a corner of a party where everybody is like them and quietly smooching in the dark
rice, peas, curry goat simmering on the stove in the kitchen
she spies Roland walk in from the promenade, his carriage full of self-importance, although it entertains her more than annoys her these days
she only really got to know him a little when he fathered her goddaughter, Yazz, before then he, like many of Amma’s friends, had no time for her
by the time Yazz started primary school he was becoming famous and she was, for a while, in awe of him, which was silly
she used to dread their encounters because he made her feel inferior as soon as he opened his mouth
this one time she was bundling little Yazz into the child seat of her car while Roland rabbited on about Piaget’s stages of child development, about which he knew much less than her
she didn’t feel confident enough to show off her knowledge, never did with him
then he got a call to say his mother, who’d returned to the Gambia years earlier, had died
one minute he was standing there pontificating, the next he’d collapsed on to the pavement
Shirley ushered Yazz and Roland back into the house and let him cry his heart out in her arms
thereafter she saw his intellectual showmanship as a performance, deep down he could be as vulnerable as anyone
these days they rub along quite pleasantly together, although not so much she’s going to delay leaving the party to go over and say hello
next she spots Lakshmi wandering around anxiously, she must be looking for Carolyn, her latest twenty-something child bride, as Amma jokes
Shirley saw the child bride in a huddle with another much older woman a few moments ago, who seemed quite taken with her
Lakshmi had better watch out
just as she’s thinking of finding Amma to say goodbye, she sees her heading towards the Ladies with Goddess Dominique, giggling conspiratorially
it reminds her of when they ran the theatre company together and they wanted to be with each other more than anyone else, even more than their lovers
until Nzinga came on the scene and whisked Dominique away to a glamorous life in America
although it wasn’t that, from Amma’s reports, apparently Nzinga took Dominique down a peg or two (that was overdue)
Amma insisted there never was an attraction between her and Dominique, yet Shirley never understood a friendship where you went to the toilet together in your twenties, as they did, let alone in their fifties
Shirley had tried to avoid Dominique tonight, who’s far too edgy to be around a boring heterosexual suburban schoolteacher
unfortunately, they ended up standing beside each other at the bar during the interval and Shirley couldn’t make a discreet escape
Dominique was the same as ever, still thin, tight white tee-shirt to show off her flat stomach (rubbing it in), biker jacket, knuckle-duster rings, earrings crawling up her ears like loops of silver stitches, black jeans, biker boots, boyish hairstyle, no grey
it would be age-inappropriate attire if Dom didn’t look thirty-two
black women never look their age, except for Shirley
typical bad luck
they hadn’t seen each other for many a year and true to expectation Dominique grinned mockingly at Shirley as if entertained by Shirley’s pathetic little life
hey, how ya doin, Shirl? she asked in her almost-American accent
true to form, Shirley had absolutely nothing exciting to tell her, and when she bounced the same question back at Dominique, it was, wow! where do I begin? just as Dominique’s attention was diverted by the barman who chose to serve her first
of course he did
a wine glass in each hand, Dominique moved away, great to see ya, Shirl, she said, and disappeared
after serving Goddess Dominique the barman took an order from the person on the other side of Shirley who’d arrived later than her
Shirley said uncharacteristically loudly, excuse me, I was here first
and the entire counter turned to stare at her
she hadn’t resented Amma’s friendship with Dominique when she came on the scene, because their paths had already forked dramatically
her friendship with Amma is based on historic loyalty and comfortable familiarity rather than shared interests and perspectives, they tend to see films together which Shirley believes should be thrilling entertainment (from what she can tell, billions of people in the world agree with her)
Amma likes very slow foreign films with no plot and lots of atmosphere because ‘the best films are about expanding our understanding of what it means to be human, they’re a journey into pushing the boundaries of form, an adventure beyond the clichés of commercial cinema, an expression of our deeper consciousness’
you can imagine what Shirley thinks of that
they compromise, Amma went to see La La Land with her, not admitting she enjoyed it (Shirley could tell she did), and Shirley sat (slept) through Moonlight, which Amma said was one of the best films she’d ever seen