Above anything, I think clothes should make you feel good about yourself! I can’t imagine anything worse than a girl trying to fit into a certain trend and then feeling uncomfortable with what she’s wearing. What’s the point!? Who cares if everyone is wearing boyfriend jeans? If you feel like a chunky dude with poopy pants, take them off! You should walk out of the house and be thinking, Damn, I look good.
I’m super lucky that I can do what I love every day, so that keeps my creative juices flowin’ like wine. I also keep myself busy with freelance projects on the weekends so I never feel as if I’m not creating something. Sometimes I need a creative break, so I lie on my couch for hours at a time watching Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. This usually happens after I have styling dreams where I keep saying “cute” over and over again.
I never assisted anyone; I just gave it my all. I always networked with anyone whom I met in the industry, I believed that I could do it, and people believed me. Get your hustle on. My uncle always instilled the importance of work ethic in me from a young age. I asked for things and he always said, “If you want something, you have to earnnnnn it!” I thought it was the most annoying statement ever. Yet the older I got, the more I realized I could get a job, make my own money, and not have to ask for things. So I did. And it was so satisfying!
Obviously, the older I got, it wasn’t just about buying things, but not wanting to be the girl living paycheck to paycheck, as in, “Can I pay my rent this month?” I wanted to live comfortably and not be stressed about finances. I also wanted to be able to do nice things for my family. I knew that they appreciated even the small things, like my being able to pick up the tab at dinner. The more I accomplish in life, the more I realize that I am not a complete and utter failure, and I’m actually proud of myself! I had no idea what I wanted to do out of high school, so to be where I am now . . . that’s somethin’.
11
The Chances
Dreams are today’s answers to tomorrow’s questions.
—Edgar Cayce
What are the chances?
That’s a good question.
More than a half-million new businesses are started per month in the United States alone, but 80 percent of them will fail within the first year and a half. So what are the chances that mine would still be alive and thriving seven years later? You could do some calculations, plot some graphs, and determine the exact probability, but I think we all agree by now that that’s not my jam! The answer, no matter how you spin it, is that the chances were that of a snowball in hell.
I have a tattoo that reads “1%.” It’s something I got years ago with Gary when he was already my ex, but it was our humorous homage to the ideals of the one-percenters. In the wake of a bunch of bad press, the American Motorcyclist Association once claimed that 99 percent of its members were regular citizens and only 1 percent were outlaws. The gnarliest of the gnarly outlaw bikers latched on to that, calling themselves one-percenters. While we weren’t outlaws, Gary and I identified with their ethos that when you are a one-percenter, you live your life your way. Currently, the popular meaning of the so-called 1 percent refers to Wall Street, and that ethos is completely different. This idiomatic shift has become especially ironic for me, but the tattoo hasn’t lost any of its significance. It’s a reminder of how unlikely it was that I’d ever find myself seated in the corner office.
In a 2011 TED Talk in San Francisco, author and speaker Mel Robbins talked about how the chances that you are you are about 1 in 400 trillion. (Yes, that’s a four hundred followed by twelve zeros.) This takes into account the chance of your parents meeting out of all the people on the planet, the chance of them reproducing, the chance of you being born at the exact moment that you were, and every other wildly improbable factor that goes into each individual person. The whole point of her crazy calculation was that we should take the sheer improbability of our own existence as a kick in the butt to get out of bed in the morning. If you hear this fact as discouraging—that you’re only one in billions—then flip the script. You are one in billions! Someone has to succeed, so it might as well be you.
I didn’t stick around high school long enough to be voted “Most Likely to” anything, especially since my Subway polo, Dickies, and I looked about as far away from Most Likely to Succeed as you could possibly get. Anyone looking for a sure bet, in business or in life, would never have put their money on me. But that didn’t dissuade me from betting on myself. In the end I beat the odds. Now, whenever I’m faced with improbable situations, I remind myself that if I really want something badly enough, I have it within myself to make it happen.
My entire path is littered with my defying every piece of advice I’ve ever been given. I’m giving you carte blanche to pick and choose from the advice outlined in this book. Hell, ignore it all if you want. But don’t ignore this: You create the world, blink by blink. It is entirely yours to discover and yours to create.
That’s the number one thing, perhaps even the only thing, you can absolutely count on. Regardless of what your dreams are, if you listen only to those around you, the chances of your dreams coming true are very small. The world loves to tell you how difficult things are, and the world’s not exaggerating. And that’s a real bummer. But, here’s the real shit: You can’t have it all, and nothing comes easy. You will make sacrifices and compromises, get let down and let other people down, fail and start over, break some hearts, take some names, and learn to pick up and continue when your own heart gets broken. But difficult doesn’t mean impossible, and out of the bajillions of things in this universe that you can’t control, what you can control is how hard you try, and if or when to pack it in.
Paul recently reminded me of a Nasty Gal barbecue when, unprompted, he took the hose and began to spray me with water. I grabbed the nearest thing I could—a hamburger patty—and threw it square at his chest, knocking the wind out of him. He was wearing a white shirt, and it left a big meat stain right on the front. So when life hits you with something unexpected, you have to be prepared to hit right back—and leave your own smear in the process.
In a now famous commencement speech at Stanford University, Steve Jobs urged the graduating class to “stay hungry. Stay foolish.” Never let go of your appetite to go after new ideas, new experiences, and new adventures. Compete with yourself, not with others. Judge yourself on what is your personal best and you’ll accomplish more than you could ever have imagined. Life stops for no one, so keep moving. Stay awake and stay alive. There’s no AutoCorrect in life—think before texting the universe. Breaking the rules just for fun is too easy—the real challenge lies in perfecting the art of knowing which rules to accept and which to rewrite. The more you experiment, take risks, and make mistakes, the better you’ll know yourself, the better you’ll know the world, and the more focused you’ll be.
And once you’ve found success, don’t stop. It’s not about being insatiable; it’s about not resting on your laurels. This crazy, loopy universe that we live in is pretty entertaining, and we’re only here for a short amount of time. #GIRLBOSSes make it count. Look up and look around, and if you’re not finding something inspiring, then you’re probably not looking hard enough. Remember, I touched every piece of clothing in those thrift stores. You have to do that with your life.