"I can't swing that, Kare. I'm your Official Dead Person. I'm the only person any of you knew who died when you were young. Because of this I register in your heads as the, umm, the deadest."
"The deadest? What a crock."
"Karen, forget about that for a second. Tell meI have to ask you this: What is the main thing you noticedthe major difference between the world you left and the world you woke up into?"
Karen exhales heavily, as though she's having a massage and her tension is dissolving. She looks into the Save-On's dark interior and says, "Alack."
"A lack?"
"Yes. A lack of convictionsof beliefs, of wisdom, or even of good old badness. No sorrow; no nothing. Peoplethe people I knew when I came back they only, well, existed. It was so sad. I couldn't allow myself to tell them.""What's so wrong with thatjust existing, I mean?"
"I'm not sure, Jared. Animals and plants exist and we envy them that. But in people it just doesn't look good. I didn't like it when I came out of the coma and I still don't like iteven with just the few of us remaining here."
"And?"
"God, Jaredyou're relentless. I know. Tell you whatyou tell me who you slept with and I'll answer more of your questions."
"Karen, I dunno "
"Stacey Klaasen?"
"Okay, yeah."
"Jennifer Banks?"
"Yeah."
"Jennifer Banks's younger sister?"
"Guilty."
"I knew you two did it."
"No shit, Sherlock."
"Annabel Freed?"
"Yes."
"Dee-Ann Walsh."
"Yup."
"God, Jaredwe should have come and hosed you down like a mink in heat. Who didn't you make it with?"
"Pam."
"I could have guessed that."
"Wendy."
"I knewww that."
"I was going to meet her after the football game. It was in the cards. And now you have to answer more of my questions."
"Fair n'uff."
"You were talking about what was different about people when you woke up. Spill."
"All right already. Let's see. Give me a second." She scratches her chin while a wild animal screams within the Save-On. "I know I remember when I first woke up how people kept on trying to impressme with how efficient the world had become. What a weird thing to brag about, eh? Efficiency. I mean, what's the point of being efficient if you're only leading an efficiently blank life?"
I egg her on. "For example?"
Karen pulls a blanket around herself, speaking as she moves. "I thought back in 1979 that in the future the world wouldevolve. I thought that we would make the world cleaner and safer and smarter, and that people would become smarter and wiser and kinder as a result of all the changes."
"And ?"
"People didn't evolve. I mean, the world became faster and smarter and in some ways cleaner. Like carscars didn't smell anymore. But people stayed the same. They actuallywaitwhat's the opposite of progressed?"
"In this case, devolved."
"People devolved. Hey, Jaredhow come you know so many words now?"
"How to best explain there's a certain aspect of the afterworld that's like English class and you're not allowed to skip. Anyway, forget that. You were talking about devolution."
"Yes. Meganmy daughtershe didn't even believe in the future before the world ended. She thought the future was death and crime and lawlessness. And as soon as the future actually did end, she took it in stride. She had a daughter, Jane, born blind and brain defective probably because of all the crap in the air these daysand she simply assumed that's the way life should be. Actually, nobody believed in the future: Richard, Wendyit's like they expected the end."
"How?" My body temporarily flares orange with anticipation.
"Drugs. Pam and Ham did smackstill door whatever they can find that's still fresh after one year because the notion of forty more years of time was, and continues to be, too much for them. Wendy lost herself in grueling routine. Linus apparently went away for years trying to figure out the meaning of life and he never found it and so he curled up inside himself and became dusty and slightly bitter. Megan had the baby born blind and with mental problems and sonow Megan's gone slightly autistic as a result. And RichardRichard drank and placed all his hope in me. He thinks I don't know, but I do. You have to remember, Jared, I wasn't supposed to ever wake up. Richard could have spent his life mooning away about me and never have to deal with real life."
"All good points. But a bit harsh, wouldn't you say?"
"Jared, use your brainlook at me. I'm a monster. I'm like some UFO woman that Linus or Hamilton cooked up for TV movies. I gave up my body just so I could learn that the modern world was becoming sort of pointless and empty? A crappy trade."
"Okay, but answer me this: Would you have believed in the emptiness of the world if you'd eased into the world slowly, buying into its principles one crumb at a time the way your friends did?"
She sighs. "No. Probably not. Are you happy now? Can I have my body back?" Karen grabs Pam's cigarettes from the dashboard, lights one up, and then coughs.
"You smoke?" I ask.
"You jock. Yes, I'm smoking again as of now. Ooh. My head's dizzy. Heyhow's God?"
"Aw, Karendon't be flippant. It doesn't suit you. This isn't social studies class."
"Oopscareless and stupid. But, how are you? I mean, you're dead. I don't want to be flippant. I'm really curious. Who wouldn't be?"
"Don't worry about me. I'm totally cool. But I am worried about you and the rest of the crew, though."
"Us? Forget us. We're losers. Who'd worry about us? Go find some winners and worry about them."
"Don't say that, Karen. It's just not true. It just isn't." Karen stares at me as though I've made a lame joke. "I have to go nowinto the Save-On."
"Well I'm not going anywhere with these chopstick legs of mine. I feel like one of those glass birds that dips its beak into a glass of water. By the way, if you go in to see the others, Hamilton and Pam are going to drive you nuts.They spend their days shooting up and watching biography videos about the Duchess of Windsor, Studio 54, and Hollywood stars. They're losing themselves back in time. They talk all crazy."
"I can handle it."
"Hey Jared, you haven't answered many of my questions. Don't go. Quick, tell me, what's the deal? What happens next? Ten more years of this? Twenty? Thirty?"
"I can't answer that, Karen. You know how the deal works."
"You do know something then."
"Come here, Karenopen the door." Karen opens the door. "Swing out your legs," I command, and she does. "Here" I approach Karen and kneel before her. I kiss both her shins and then rise. "Stand up," I say, and Karen, coltish and unsure, steps down onto the parking lot. "Run," I say.
And she runsaround the van and then around the lot, whooping with joy. Her legs are whole again.
"I love you, Jared," she says, to which I reply, in words she can't hear because she is now so far away, "I love you, too."
28 THE FUTURE IS
Inside the blackened supermarket, scores of animals, birds, and insects have made the building their home. Shit of all types splotches the floor, as do tussles of feathers, fur, bones, and soil. Squirrels and raccoons have reduced the cereal aisle to fiber while the meat department's offerings have been entirely looted by wildlife. The smell of rot, a year later, is ebbing away, masked by the smell of shampoos and cosmetics fallen to the floor in a small earthquake six months prior. Birds rustle in the ceiling while down below flashlights carried by Richard, Hamilton, and Pam klieg their way across the store's floor. The trio daintily minuet above the muck and locate the pharmacy in the middle of the store. A white-smocked Leaker sits at the countera beef jerky skeleton.