"Oh Hamiltonlook at the world!"
"It's "
"Yes "
The two fall silent; their bodies slacken as though they've realized a friend has betrayed them. Sitting down on the truck's lowered tailgate, they swat diamonds from underneath their bottoms and sit limp.
"Well, wellhere we are," Pam says."Clean," Hamilton says. "And I don't feel like getting high. You?"
"No," replies Pam. "I like being inside my own skin again." A seagull shrieks above them and they look up. "There's still birds," Pam says.
"But no people."
"No people. The world's over, isn't it, Jared?"
"Pretty well."
"You're real, aren't you?"
"Yep."
Silence falls where in other days traffic would have hummed and honked. "This is life, then, isn't it? I mean, this is it."
"Basically."
Hamilton and Pam hold hands. Pam says, "What do we do now, Jared? Is this it foreversilence? It's so quiet down here. Lonely. You're the ghost. You're the expert."
"Your brains are as tender and fresh as a baby bird's. Walk home. Enjoy your clarity. Go romp in a hot tub. You count; you were meant to exist. I'll be seeing you again."
And with this I vanish.
30 EVERYTHING IS BRAND-NEW
Richard was my best friend growing up, although we did grow apart over the years. He was one of the people I missed most when I died, so I'm kinda choked to see him again. But there are severe limits on how much I'm allowed to reveal to the living, so I can't be as gooey with Richardor the othersas I'd like.
Richard is huffing up Rabbit Lane with a shotgun, so I slide down the hill to meet him. "Hey, Jaredthanks for fixing Karen's legs. That was beautiful."
"It was the least I could do."
"We came home and played splits on the front lawn with a steak knife for an hour. She's just so high on life now. Good trick with the lighting system down at Save-On, too."
"You flatter me shamelessly. Where are you walking to?"
"Out for a stroll before the sun sets to get a good view of Mount Baker. And the weatherit's so beautiful today. It's the end of December and it might as well be June. But then again there could be a snowstorm in three minutes. Weather's random these days."
"So I've heard." I walk alongside Richard.
"Were you alive when Mount St. Helen erupted, Jared?"
"No. Missed it."
"That's right. It was huge. And you missed new wave and alternative rock. Rap. Grunge. Hip-hop. People wore some pretty stupid clothes. Cars got really good, though."
"I didn't miss out on earthly things entirely, Richard. Check this outI can do the 'Moonwalk.'"
"No way. This I've got to see."
"Just you watch me now " I slinkily Moonwalk up the road while Richard belly-laughs. "Am I doing something wrong?" I ask.
"The opposite. It's perfect."
"Thank you. I'd like to see you do it."
"Oh please, no."
I float back beside him: "So you see, I'm somewhat up to date." We continue our walk. "Fucking A. The neighborhood's one big mess, don't you think so?"
"I don't think you ever get used to the silence, Jared. Back before the plague or whatever it was, the neighborhood looked almost identical to the way it did the year you died. But now" We survey dead trees, rangy vines, an occasional charcoal stump where a house once stood, a bird resting on a skeleton's ribcage. Pavement is crumbling and cars are stopped in the strangest places.
We pass a dog's skeleton, bleached clean by sun and acid rains. "Pinball, may he rest in peace. The Williams's Doberman. It tried to attack Wendy, but Hamilton shot him in time. It was only hungry. Poor thing."
"Sad."
"So Jared, tell me: What about when you were dying back in 1979.
What was that like? I've always wondered. I mean, were you scared near the end, when you were dying in the hospital? You seemed socalmeven at the end when all those machines were pumping gorp in and out of you."
"Scared? I was scared shitless. I didn't want to leave Earth. I wanted to see the futurethe lives of people I knew. I wanted to see progress electric cars, pollution controls, the new Talking Heads album. .. . Then my hair fell out and I knew I'd crossed the line. After that I put a good face on it because my parents were falling apart." Richard is lost in thought. "Do you think about death much?" I ask.
"Pretty much all the time. How could I not'? I mean, look at this place."
"And what do you think?"
"I don't worry about dying. I figure that I'll just meet up with everybody else in the world wherever they went. But if I'd been you back in high school, I don't think I'd have been able to put as good a face on death as you did. I'd scream and yell and beg for more time, even on this clapped-out hulk of a planet we live on now."
"You like it here?"
"No, but I'm alive."
"Is it enoughbeing alive?"
"It's what I have."
"Richard, tell me the truthand you have to tell me the truth, because, um, I'm a heavenly being."
"Shoot, buddy."
"Did you use Karen and me both as an excuse for you not to continue your own life? Did you bail out of life?"
Richard looks hurt, but then makes a dismissive "nahwhy not?" gesture. "Sure. I pretty much withdrew, Jared. But I was a good citizen. I put the trash out every Tuesday night. I voted. I had a job."
"Did you feel kinda hollow inside?"
"A bit. I admit it. Does my answer make you happy?"
"Hey man. I need to ask. I need to know how you are."
"But I stopped withdrawing when Karen woke up."
"Fair enough."
"Do we have to discuss this, Jared? Let's talk about the old neighborhood. People. Friends.""I've visited all the others today. You're the last. I saved the best for last, my oldest friend."
"I'm honored, you stud."
We continue walking and cut down into St. James Place and approach my old house, a slightly shambled split-level rancher, baby-blue. On the right hand side there are cinder burns from when the house next door burned down. "The fire was three weeks ago," Richard tells me. "Lightning." We stand at the end of my driveway. "Here's your house. You wanna go inside, Jared?"
"Could we? I've wanted to go in there, but only with somebody else. It'd make me nervous to go in alone."
"You? A ghost? You get nervous over bodies?"
"Yes. So I'm a wuss on this one issue."
"You get used to them. Trust me. Hamilton calls them Leakers."
My old front lawn is knee-high; all of the ornamental shrubs have browned and withered. Green ivy has persisted, overgrowing onto the front door, which is unlocked. It opens silently as Richard tries it. A whoosh of warm air comes out, as does a foul, ammonia-like stink that makes Richard grimace at me: "You still want to go through with this, Jared?"
"Please."
Time has stood still inside. "Oh boy, Richard. It's almost identical to the last day I was heremy final day pass out of the palliative care unit. I wasn't supposed to eat meat, but Dad cut my turkey up into bits the size of peas and said to hell with it. I puked my dinner and then some blood and then the paramedics had to come. My parents and sister were so frightened. It was such a bad scene."
Richard stands in the front area and waits as I float through the house. A new TV here, a microwave oven there, some fridge magnets, but otherwise the house remains as it was when I left it. I approach the staircase, but Richard looks at me. "Are you sure you're okay with this, Jared?"