“None like me,” he said, putting his arm around her shoulder.
Mary tried to be charitable. After al , she was Catholic. She could suffer in silence. She tried not to say anything when Ken spent whole weekends at his mom’s house, doing her taxes or helping her pick out a door for the new garage. “My dad took care of al that stuff,” he said whenever Mary complained that she didn’t see him enough.
On Mary and Ken’s first date, Ken took a cal from his mom in the middle of dinner. “I’m sorry,” he said when he got back. “My mom gets nervous when I don’t answer. My dad passed a few years ago, and so she’s al alone.”
Mary could have cried from happiness. She was on a blind date with a truly nice guy who loved his mother and wasn’t afraid to tel her. Three dates later it wasn’t as charming.
Ken moved into Mary’s apartment but warned her that he could never tel his mom what he’d done. “But we’re thirty,” Mary said. She’d never found him less attractive.
“My mom is just old-fashioned,” he said. “And I don’t want to upset her. She’s been through so much with my dad and everything.” And so Mary wasn’t al owed to say much more.
“Some umbilical cords are stronger than others,” Lauren told her. It sounded like the first line of a horror movie.
“Cal me Button,” Ken’s mother said when they got engaged. “Or Mom.”
Everyone cal ed Ken’s mother Button. They always had. Most people didn’t even know that her real name was Virginia. “My dad just thought I was cute as a button,” she explained once to Mary. “And the name stuck.”
Mary couldn’t imagine cal ing a grown woman Button. Cal ing her Mom was worse. Mary was certain the offer was insincere. She wanted to keep cal ing her Mrs. Walker, like she always had. But now that the subject had been broached, she knew she couldn’t, so Mary just said, “Thank you,”
and stopped cal ing her anything.
“What am I supposed to do?” Mary asked Isabel a. “His family is obviously crazy.”
“So is Harrison’s family,” Isabel a said. “They never hug. Did I tel you that? They literal y just wave at each other from across the room when they haven’t seen each other in months. It’s bizarre.”
“Wel , Ken’s mother hugs her children when they leave the room for more than five minutes.”
“Real y?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s kind of weird.”
“I know.”
“Harrison’s family doesn’t ever talk on the phone. Never. Except if they’re going to meet somewhere and they want to confirm the time.”
“Ken’s family only goes out to eat at T.G.I. Friday’s or Chili’s,” Mary said, and Isabel a laughed.
“Harrison’s brother eats with his hands and never says ‘Excuse me’ when he leaves the table. He just gets up to go.”
“I don’t think Button wants us to get married.”
“Real y?”
“Yeah. I think she wants Ken to pay attention only to her.”
“Ew,” Isabel a said.
“I know.”
Every summer, Ken’s family went to Lake Minnetonka in Cable, Wisconsin. “Don’t you guys ever want to go somewhere else?” Mary asked.
“That’s where we go,” Ken explained. “My dad started taking us there when I was just a baby.”
Mary and Ken had been dating for two years, but Mary was never invited to “the lake.” Ken came on vacation with her family, but never mentioned it when he went away. Now that they were engaged, Button cal ed Ken to tel him to extend the invitation to Mary. He told her as though she should be thril ed. “You’l get to see the lake!” he said. She smiled. No lake could be worth a week with Button.
It took them al day to get there. They had to fly into Minneapolis–St. Paul International, and then drive three hours to the lake. When they arrived, Button was standing on the porch, waiting for them. “I’m so glad you could join us,” she said to Mary with just a trace of a fake British accent. It
sounded like she had been practicing the sentence.
Mary saw that Button was trying to smile but couldn’t quite get her mouth to go the right way. Ken went in to change into his bathing suit and ran down the path to the lake before Mary had even gotten inside. She gave him a look that said, Don’t leave me alone here, but he just cal ed out,
“Come meet me when you’re ready!” Mary and Button stared at each other on the porch.
“Let me show you your room,” Button said, and led Mary to a slim rectangular closet off the kitchen. There was a cot set up in there that took up most of the room. Mary put her bag down and tried to seem pleased to be sleeping in an old food pantry.
“Thanks so much for having me,” Mary said. “I’m so excited to be here. Ken always talks about this place.”
Button was flustered. “Wel ,” she said. “Wel , how nice.”
“Do you need help with anything? Dinner or anything like that?”
“No, we’re al set,” Button said. “Dinner is at six.” When Mary was final y alone in the pantry, she decided to lie down and take a nap.
“This is my family now,” she thought to herself. “I am going to be legal y bound to Button.” She tried to tel herself not to be so overdramatic, but then she imagined spending holidays with these people and let a single tear slide out of her eye. She was al owed a single tear. She was going to have a mother-in-law named Button.
The lake was pretty but freezing. Ken took her out in one of the kayaks, assuring her that she wouldn’t die. “Here,” he said, tossing her a life jacket.
“Put this on.”
They paddled out to the middle of the murky lake. Mary was in the front because Ken said the heavier person should be in the back. She kept trying to turn around to ask him questions, but when she did the boat wobbled and so she remained looking straight ahead. The paddles were dripping into the boat and a pretty big puddle was gathering around their feet. The only nice thing about being in the boat was that Button was getting smal er and smal er on the shore. Mary was just starting to enjoy herself when she heard Ken say, “Uh-oh.”
“What?” Mary whipped her head around and the boat tipped to the right. “What uh-oh? What?”
“No big deal,” Ken said. “But we should start paddling back. I think there’s some holes in the boat.”
Mary grabbed her paddle and started slapping it in the water. She could hear Ken laughing. “It’s okay,” he said. “I promise, even if the boat sinks we aren’t that far out. We can swim in.”
When they got back, Button was standing on the shore with her hand pressed over her chest. “Oh, I was so worried!” she said. “What on earth made you think to take the kayak out? We haven’t had those out in years.” Mary thought Button was looking at her while she said this.
“Mom, we’re fine,” Ken said. He was tal er than his mother, and when he put his arm around her, she looked tiny.
“Wel ,” Button said. “Wel , I was worried.”
“I know, Mom, I know!” Ken and his mother walked ahead down the path to the cabin. Mary walked behind them, shivering, with wet feet.
It became clear to Mary that the Walkers had a routine at the lake and that just by being there, she was disrupting it. Sunday night they went to the Lodge for dinner and had wal eye pike and cheese curds. Monday night was hot dogs on the gril . Tuesday night was taco night. When they went to the grocery store, Mary suggested that they get salmon to gril and the whole family looked at her like she was nuts.
“We only eat fish at the Lodge,” Ken’s sister said. Mary nodded like this made sense.
They went down to the Lodge on Wednesday night for bingo. “You know what this place reminds me of?” Mary asked. “The summer place they go to in Dirty Dancing, you know?” Ken’s sister laughed.