Going back upstairs to the pink bedroom, she hunted reluctantly for some appropriate clothes, finally locating a brown riding skirt with a looped-up train, a cream-colored blouse, well-worn boots, and a flat topped hat. Right next to the boots were three pairs of spurs with star-shaped rowels, each pair made in a different style. Picking up one of the them by the heel bank, Addie examined it closely. It was like a finely worked piece of jewelry, silver engraved with flowers and elaborate scrolls. The points of the rowels were darkened with dried blood and horse hair. A spasm of disgust crossed her face, and she set the spur down by the others.
"Adeline," came May's muffled voice through the door.
"What, M-Mama?" Good Lord, how difficult it was to call someone that.
"I told Ben you'd be goin' with him. He's saddlin' up Jessie for you. Hurry, sugar, and don't make him wait. "
“After yesterday, that's the last thing I plan to do."
"That's my good girl."
Addie's heart was heavy with dread as she changed her clothes and stuck several extra pins in her hair to keep her twisted chignon in place. Wild ideas of how to avoid being with Ben raced through her mind, but none of them were even remotely plausible. Suddenly she asked herself why she was afraid of him. He wouldn't dare do anything to hurt her now, in broad daylight, with everyone knowing where they were.
Ben's way was the coward's way. He would sneak up on someone if he was of a mind to hurt. him. A spurt of hatred gave her courage. She would have to stick it out. She would have to survive whatever might happen. And there was no real danger for her. If history was following in the same course as before, Ben's intention was to kill Russell, not her.
Shoving her foot into a leather boot, Addie worked it on until it was firmly in place, then did the same with the other one. As she stood up and wiggled her toes, she realized how odd it was that they fit so perfectly. No two people's feet were alike, and yet the soles of these boots were worn in the same places that her own shoes had always been. They conformed perfectly to each arch, every line of her feet. Addie walked over to the mirror and looked at herself, surprised by her own reflection.
Where was that girl with the bright red lips and flesh-colored stockings, the girl who had worn dropped-waist dresses that showed off her legs and made her look so boyishly slender? The woman in the mirror looked fussy and old-fashioned, a feminine doll with protruding breasts and a nipped-in waist. Though the riding outfit was less confining than the other clothes in the closet, she still felt helpless, bound by the starched underclothes. What she wouldn't give for the silk knickers and short skirts she was used to wearing!
It was wrong for a woman to be forced into this image, this ripe and maternal appearance, this false voluptuousness. This kind of woman was passive and appealing, an exaggeration of femininity, an object for men to admire, desire, dominate. How long could she last like this? How long before she suffocated in corsets and crinolines?
Addie went out of the house and headed for the bam, her steps slowing as she saw Ben Hunter already seated on a horse and leading another by the reins. Similar to any other experienced cowboy, Ben looked natural on a horse, comfortable and supremely confident. The chestnut mare he was leading was an unusually light color, almost golden, a high-stepping animal with plenty of spirit evident in the toss of her head and the jaunty way she moved.
She was magnificent, and to Addie, terrifying. It had been so long since she had ridden, not that she had ever been good at it, and it would take hours of practice to reacquaint herself with all that was involved. And to have to get on that horse with Ben watching… Her heart was thumping so fast she could feel it in every part of her body.
"You forgot your can openers," Ben said, his insolent green eyes flickering down to her boots.
She had never seen a man as handsome as he was, with the brim of his hat shading his eyes and a crisp white shirt rolled up at the sleeves, and his lithe body clad in snug-fitting Levi's with buckskin patches on the knees.
"Can open… oh, you mean my spurs," Addie stammered, hating herself for being so jittery around him. "I'm not wearing them anymore. They're cruel and… and unnecessary."
"You told me last week you couldn't ride a horse like Jessie without them."
"Jessie and I will get along just fine without them," she muttered, walking up to the chestnut and stroking her nose. The horse tossed her head away irritably. "Be nice, Jessie. Are you going to be a good girl for me today? Are you-"
"You two can carryon a conversation later. Let's get going."
Slowly Addie walked around to the left side of the horse. It was the left side you were supposed to mount on, wasn't it? She struggled to remember some of the things she had once been told about riding. Don't let the horse know you are afraid. Let Jessie know who is master. Jessie's ears perked up as she sensed Addie approaching.
"There's a sidesaddle on her," Addie said, her stomach clenching at the sight. She had no idea how to ride sidesaddle.
"That's the kind you always use. You've insisted on it ever since the academy. "
"No, I can't today. Put another kind on her. Anything else."
Ben's face hardened. "I don't have time for your games this morning. I don't have time to pander to your whims, no matter how much you enjoy giving orders. If you don't like it, complain to Daddy later. But for now, get on that horse."
"I despise you," Addie said fervently.
"That fancy private school didn't teach you much in the way of manners, did it?"
"I don't owe you an ounce of courtesy. You don't show the least bit for me. As far as I can tell, you're more insolent than a man in your position has a right to be, Mr. Hunter."
"Mr. Hunter," he repeated, and a jeering smile flashed across his face. "So we're on formal terms now."
She threw him a scornful glance. "Were we ever on anything else?"
"I seem to remember that we were, if only for the space of five minutes. That day in the barn… remember, Miss Adeline? I've never seen anyone get riled so quickly, and all because I wasn't tempted by the way you throw yourself at a man."
"I never did anything like that!" she burst out, horrified. Was he actually saying that she had tried to seduce him? "I would never throw myself at you, of all people!"
"Deny it," he said, and shrugged carelessly. "It doesn't change what happened."
"That wasn't me!"
His speculative gaze lingered on her indignant face.
"Same big brown eyes, same honey-colored hair, same cute little figure. Could have sworn it was you. "
Her face was cold with distaste. What a liar he was.
"And you say you refused me?"
"Hard for you to accept, hmmn?"
"Someone like you would have jumped at any offer from your employer's daughter."
"Like I told you then, I have no interest in spoiled, hard-hearted little girls."
"Well I have no interest in greedy, insolent ranch hands with swelled heads."
His eyes flashed dangerously. "You're hardly in a position to fault anyone for greed, Miss Adeline."
"Why do you say that?"
"You have to ask?" His brow arched. No doubt he was silently reminding her of some past incident.
"I have nothing on you," she said brashly. "You'd do anything for a piece of this ranch."
There was a harsh silence between them as his gaze locked with hers.
"Get on the damn horse," he said softly.
Her anger gave her the strength to swing up into the saddle and hook her knee into place before she had second thoughts about what she was doing. The ground seemed miles away. Nervously Jessie danced around while Addie tried to soothe her. A thousand prayers for mercy flashed through Addie's mind. The horse was nothing but a massive bulk of muscle and tension, ready to explode out of her rider's control, and both Addie and Jessie knew it. The sidesaddle offered only precarious balance. It would be a miracle if she managed to stay on the horse.